twitter twaddle: #cantdateyouif

Click on this image that clearly indicates someone takes Twitter way too seriously and follow me on Twitter to find out how seriously I don't take it at all.

Click on this image that clearly indicates someone takes Twitter way too seriously and follow me on Twitter to find out how seriously I don’t take it at all.

Ready for the lamest first post of the year?!? Yessss. Let’s do this. Also, trying out capital letters. We’ll see how that goes. Not sure how long I can maintain that level of responsibility.

#cantdateyouif you can’t put up with my neediness and psycho tendencies. – No. I can’t date you. Also, no one can/should.

#cantdateyouif you don’t okay with my hair – O_o 

#cantdateyouif you don’t like my best friend. – Thank you @highskoollifee.

#cantdateyouif my best friend doesn’t like you. – Thank you @highskoollifee.

#cantdateyouif you refuse to take cute pictures with me. – Define cute. If it involves duck face and/or dogs that are only good for feeding to other dogs, then it’s a safe bet I would never take a picture with you.

#cantdateyouif Your hygiene is foul. – Fair enough.

#cantdateyouif you won’t accept my love of One Direction. – Written by a dude. Nope. Not kidding.

#cantdateyouif you don’t like (insert your Applebee’s favorite here). – @Applebees

#cantdateyouif your not willing to listen to my problems – How many problems are we talking about and how often are we talking about listening to them?

#cantdateyouif you’re over 14 – @NotARapist_

Two questions today:

1. Do you do New Year’s resolutions?

2. If you could “resolve” anything and have it instantly be done with no effort on your part, what would it be?

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11 comments on “twitter twaddle: #cantdateyouif

  1. 1. Yup.
    2. How my beloved fiancee refuses to squeeze only the far end of the toothpaste tube, instead of the middle, even when I jokingly point it out every morning. World peace will follow.

  2. Michael Mock says:

    1. Nope. Resolutions, yes; New Year’s specific, no.
    2. Are we talking resolutions, or wishes? ‘Cause if I can finally get my Vast Supernatural Powers just by resolving to get ’em, well… let the world tremble, right? Otherwise, realistically, we’re looking at better money management for me.

    Also:
    #cantdateyouif you’re not my wife. It’s a simple system, but it works for me.

  3. Soul Walker says:

    1. Nope.
    2. I would resolve all my body pains.

  4. Jennwith2ns says:

    1. No.
    2. Except I have one. Get my book Favored One published. Like, today.

  5. Jenn says:

    1. Not really
    2. Have the grad school pounds disappear as I don’t have the time right now to do anything about them… that or if I could resolve to not feel exhausted all the time that would also be awesome.

  6. 1. Only for jokes. Like when I said my New Years resolution was 1920×1080.
    2. To know where I’m going to move and what I’m going to do there RIGHT NOW.

  7. 1. Not really. “Do, or do not. There is no resolution.” – New Years Yoda

    2. The first thought that occurred to me was learn to dual wield swords. This being the first thought may have been influenced by playing a Star Wars video game last night, but is seriously something I want to learn.

    2b. There is one other serious thing that comes to mind which I want to learn to do but terrifies me, because a mistake on my part could hurt someone else and I know some of my weaknesses that could lead to such a mistake. Though I guess you could apply the same statement to the sword fighting!

  8. dpapage says:

    Haha nice post!

    If anyone wants, check out a new, cool men’s blog:

    http://almost30blog.wordpress.com

  9. I am ever so incredibly grateful that you are trying out capital letters and I’ll be praying for you, so that you can manage the burden 😉 I haven’t been here in a while and I have to say it was the first thing I noticed and I almost cried.

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