The Case Against Matt Forney

Ya know, I tend to just ignore what I don’t like on the internet and move on because I’m all about happiness and good times and not completely losing my shit.

But this particular little something special has been brought to my attention several times and I should probably address it? Explain it? Stab it to death? Guess we’ll just have to see.

If you don’t know what the Manosphere is, my friend Joy Bennett will ‘splain it to you with the best definition I’ve heard yet:

“Allow me to introduce you to ‘The Manosphere’. They hate women with a passion except that they also want to fuck them.”

That pretty much sums it up. They like to write blogs with delightful titles like “It’s Fat Girl Shaming Month!” and “I Love My Dick and So Can You!” Okay, so I made that second one up, but it’s the subtext of everything these man-children write. I’ve read plenty of it. People send me links all the time but I never post them here or rebut them directly because I don’t want to send traffic their way.

I changed my mind this time.

The Manosphere is full of misogynists and Matt Forney is their king.

His post:

The Case Against Female Self-Esteem

is the reason I’m writing today.

It’s not just Forney, it’s how many are agreeing with him in the comments section. You see, Matt believes “The idea that women should have self-esteem or need it, beyond a low baseline to ensure they don’t commit suicide or become psycho stalkers, is one of the most disastrous social engineering experiments of the modern era.”

In other news, he says strong women deflate his dick.

And I’m sure that^^^^^ is absolutely true.

Forney also seems to believe that strength and vulnerability are mutually exclusive. Probably because he defines “vulnerability” as being susceptible to him and fearful of his rejection.

Weird. Now that I think about it, that almost sounds like the definition of victim not vulnerable. And by “almost” I mean “absolutely”.

I have to admit it’s been a struggle to gather my thoughts after my head exploded from reading Forney’s piece so I’m going use bullet points to organize my response.

Also, to take the edge off of wanting to use actual bullets.

  • REAL MEN LIKE STRONG WOMEN – Cliche´? Duh. Of course it is. Doesn’t make it any less true though. When I met my husband, my insecurity nob went to 11. I was vulnerable in the way that makes Forney all tingly. But my man, Craig, wasn’t having any of it. He taught me to be strong. To look people in the eye. To say no. Even if that no was directed at him. He’s proud of the Forney-dick-deflating woman I’ve become. Because he’s a real man. Boys like Forney and his sticky minions, who want women insecure and afraid, are cowards. They can’t fathom happiness with a strong woman because they think it will make them weaker than they already are. They subjugate out of fear of being subjugated.
  • STRENGTH AND VULNERABILITY ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE – A woman can be strong while still being open and trusting. I see it all the time. Just because she’s willing to take a bite out of your ass if you cross her, doesn’t mean there’s no softness or concern for others or willingness to concede when she’s the wrong one. A man who recognizes that knows the real prize is in partnership. It’s in being with a woman who is strong enough to hold him up when he’s weak and soft enough or “vulnerable” enough to not make him feel like less of a man for leaning on her.

What Forney and the rest of the Astroglide-of-the-month club are missing is that a strong woman is a real man’s biggest fan and advocate. She makes him feel invincible not because he’s dominating her but because she’s supporting him.

I realize all of this will have exactly zero effect on those in the Manosphere. The toolbox who wrote the Fat Girl post will probably grab a tube sock and go back to the big girl porn under his bed.

Yeah. I said that.

And Forney? Who knows. I honestly don’t care.

What I do care about, what I have always cared about here at AWGTW is healthy relationship. I want strong, loving, reasonable men to choose strong, loving, reasonable women. I want mutual respect. I want matching rocking chairs when you’re 80. I want those who are into ren faires to find each other, share a turkey leg and make awkward family photos I can enjoy on the internet.

I don’t want women to be afraid. To be used. To be insecure. To be victimized by the likes of Matt Forney.

And neither should you.

I have no intention of becoming the internet police. Because exhausting. And annoying. And exhausting. But in this case, I had to say something. Women who are insecure and vulnerable need champions not predators. Let me be very clear. Men who pursue women who are weaker than they are, who they can mold and manipulate into their twisted version of womanhood, are predators. Not the apex kind. The “To Catch A” kind. A champion is a man who sees a woman who is his equal and THAT is what excites him. The challenge. The knowing he will never be bored. The understanding that she is only going to make him stronger.

Okay. I’m done now.

What say you?

Related:

Miss Insecurity

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Twitter Twaddle #IfWeDate

Click on the dead bird to follow my ridiculousness on Twitter.

Click on the dead bird to follow my ridiculousness on Twitter.

Maybe I should have titled this one “Undatable Girl Edition”. Not all of them are written by terrible women, but probably 80% that I read are.

Protip: Guys, if you ever want to cull the herd of available women, just watch what they post on Twitter when a relationship trend is underway.

#IfWeDate Ill let you touch my boobs whenever – *presented without comment*

#IfWeDate you better defend me in EVERYTHING – So yeah. Couple of questions. How often does it come that he would need to defend you? And what exactly is “EVERYTHING”?

#Ifwedate bitch you better be committed..if you weren’t going to committed bitch you shouldn’t have asked me to be with you. – I’m pretty sure every guy reading this is going to think twice before asking you out. In a perfect world, they won’t need to use up the second thought.

#IfWeDate you’ll know every mistake I’ve ever made but you’ll forgive me and help me through it – This is a fixer-upper, fellas. Proceed with caution.

#IfWeDate you have to be real!!! Not imaginary 😒 – Fair enough.

#IfWeDate I’ll spoil you, cuddle you, do whatever you want, make you dinner but know that i will always think you might deep down hate me O_o

#IfWeDate you Better never talk to any other girls unless I allow it – If you date this girl, you deserve whatever you get.

#IfWeDate you better be able to put up with my moods💁– Thanks for the heads up. Also, no.

#IfWeDate it’s not gonna be easy for you at all. – Well, at least she’s honest.

#IfWeDate just know I like the large #6 on the Taco Bell menu. – And that my friends, is what I call a Keeper.

Confession time. How would you answer #IfWeDate?

Twitter Twaddle: #WeCantBeInARelationshipIf

Click the creepy bird to follow me on Twitter if you feel like getting your bad decision for the day over with.

Click the creepy bird to follow me on Twitter if you feel like getting your bad decision for the day over with.

Once again Twitter drops some serious knowledge on us that will clearly make us richer, wiser and more attractive. Or whatever the opposite of those are.

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf you don’t watch Friends! – Thanks for your input, 1997.

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf you’re going to complain about my obsession over The Walking Dead. – Fair enough. I don’t find this unreasonable at all.

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf U dont luv my mustaech – I don’t think your “mustaech” is the problem.

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf you don’t like Taylor Swift. – *See below*

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf You are Taylor Swift. – Bingo.

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf you don’t give me the attention that I need. Then you don’t want to date this guy: #WeCantBeInARelationshipIf you get mad when I put hockey before you.

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf you don’t understand nothing says “I’m sorry” like Chanel – Yeah! Who needs sincerity when you can spend your mortgage money on a purse!

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf We’re cousins. – @bluthquotes

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf u got liek a 2 inch dik – I can only hope the girl who wrote this is really super attractive because personality and education are out.

#WeCantBeInARelationshipIf… we just can’t. My parents are Asian. – Wins the internet.

Okay. Your turn. We can’t be in a relationship if….

twitter twaddle: #cantdateyouif

Click on this image that clearly indicates someone takes Twitter way too seriously and follow me on Twitter to find out how seriously I don't take it at all.

Click on this image that clearly indicates someone takes Twitter way too seriously and follow me on Twitter to find out how seriously I don’t take it at all.

Ready for the lamest first post of the year?!? Yessss. Let’s do this. Also, trying out capital letters. We’ll see how that goes. Not sure how long I can maintain that level of responsibility.

#cantdateyouif you can’t put up with my neediness and psycho tendencies. – No. I can’t date you. Also, no one can/should.

#cantdateyouif you don’t okay with my hair – O_o 

#cantdateyouif you don’t like my best friend. – Thank you @highskoollifee.

#cantdateyouif my best friend doesn’t like you. – Thank you @highskoollifee.

#cantdateyouif you refuse to take cute pictures with me. – Define cute. If it involves duck face and/or dogs that are only good for feeding to other dogs, then it’s a safe bet I would never take a picture with you.

#cantdateyouif Your hygiene is foul. – Fair enough.

#cantdateyouif you won’t accept my love of One Direction. – Written by a dude. Nope. Not kidding.

#cantdateyouif you don’t like (insert your Applebee’s favorite here). – @Applebees

#cantdateyouif your not willing to listen to my problems – How many problems are we talking about and how often are we talking about listening to them?

#cantdateyouif you’re over 14 – @NotARapist_

Two questions today:

1. Do you do New Year’s resolutions?

2. If you could “resolve” anything and have it instantly be done with no effort on your part, what would it be?

twitter twaddle: #HowToReplyToILoveYou

Twitter+Bird.+He+can+see...+everything_f49426_3735537

click the creepy bird to follow me on twitter

twitter is a gold mine of good advice. here are some nuggets.

#HowToReplyToILoveYou I hate you. – that seems excessive.

#HowToReplyToILoveYou “you not for real” – pinocchio’s girlfriend?

#HowToReplyToILoveYou – I love me too – did we date?

#HowToReplyToILoveYou: I don’t blame you – we definitely dated.

#HowToReplyToILoveYou: cool story bro – so jaded…

#HowToReplyToILoveYou The user you are trying to contact has been disconnected and dropped out the face of earth MSGCD:3217962189762 – ohhh. so close to being clever.

#howtoreplytoiloveyou ERROR MESSAGE 405: The number you are currently trying to reach is no longer in service. Contact carrier for details. – nailed it.

#howtoreplytoiloveyou pineapple pineapple pineapple! i don’t know what to do with my hands!!!!! – i’d probably fall in love harder if the object of my affection responded this way.

#HowToReplyToILoveYou … I Love… Cake….. – who doesn’t?

#HowToReplyToILoveYou k– i didn’t realize my husband was on twitter…

#HowToReplyToILoveYou Well I’m thinking that “I love you too” would probably be a good reply? I mean. I’m just throwing that out there. – and there it is.

and the best response ever, ever, everrrrrrr:

A9Z_R4MCAAAM7oW

your turn. kill it in the comments.