surveys are dumb

you know those annoying surveys that everyone would fill out then expect you to fill out on Myspace before it became a wasteland of strippers and crappy bands?

let’s do one!

i have a theory that my readers are more interesting than most.  what do i base this on?  for one, you get me and i’m ridiculous, so you must have something at least a little bent about you.

it’s going to be a simple one.  a list.  you know i love list as much as Brick Tamland loves lamp.  so here we go.

list the 5 most interesting things about you or that you have experienced.

i’ll post mine in the comments.

but wait there’s more!

feel free to make crap up.  the rest of us will try and guess if you’re lying or not.  you can go back and do your reveals tomorrow.

ready?  go!

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66 comments on “surveys are dumb

  1. 1. i once stopped a kidnapping
    2. a friend of mine is a former assassin for the US government and told me who shot Kennedy
    3. i’ve held a rifle on an escaped convict
    4. i know a 6’6″ tall mexican
    5. i’ve held Taylor Hanson’s baby

  2. 1. I can juggle.
    2. I once played a nose flute in a talent show (Pro tip: never share somebody else’s nose flute).
    3. I played Romeo in our school’s R&J production. I was one of three guys in the drama class, so that worked out well.
    4. I taught myself to read when I was 4, using an alphabet poster my mom put in my room. I’d read the encyclopedia.
    5. I don’t tell lies.

  3. Mandie says:

    1. I recently received a survey in the mail with a $2.00 check to make it “worth my time”.

    2. I was sitting in a lounge at university when a guy dressed in a banana suit came running through, screaming. A minute or so later, a guy in a gorilla suit came running through, chasing said banana.

    3. My grandpa grew up Old Order Mennonite. Horse, buggy, no electricity, butter churning, the whole bit.

    4. My sister-in-law’s uncle is the Argentinian equivalent of Simon Cowell.

    5. In elementary school when people told me I was short I would respond with, “Well you’re ugly and I can grow.”

  4. 1. I played Glenda the Good Witch in a production of The Wizard of Oz.

    2. I CAN believe it’s not butter.

    3. I can touch my nose with my tongue.

    4. I have never used #3 to pick my nose.

    5. Even though my dad is 5’10” and my mom is 5’6”, I grew to an enormous 6’7”.

  5. Russ Ray says:

    1) I once played a cross-dressed monster in our church VBS program.
    2) I’ve lost every pro wrestling match I’ve ever been in, including the one where I wrestled a girl.
    3) I was a 2-time county spelling bee champion back home and placed in the top half of the state finals.
    4) I taught myself to read when I was 3, and when I was in kindergarten I would go to the first grade library class and read stories to THEM.
    5) I got a character at Disney World to break character.

    • Joseph says:

      1. true – Group publishing?
      2. true?
      3. true
      4. false
      5. true – did you kick him in the groin? I’ve never done it, but I bet you could get one to break character that way…

    • 1. True. Sounds weird enough to be true anyway.
      2. True.
      3. True.
      4. True.
      5. True.

    • 1. oh please let that be true
      2. false
      3. true
      4. true
      5. true

    • Mandie says:

      1. True
      2. False
      3. True
      4. True
      5. False – that’s impossible

    • Russ Ray says:

      1) True. When I wrote the program, the villain was a guy, but they could only cast a female in the role. In the finale, she falls into a vat of chemicals and turns into a monster. I had to act like the Hulk while wearing a ripped-up dress and blonde wig.

      2) False. I lost to the girl and every other match I was in, but I won a blindfolded battle royal in my hometown.

      3) True. Nerd.

      4) True. Still nerd.

      5) False. I think that’s pretty much impossible unless you kick them in the junk (as suggested). Not sure that works on the princesses though…

  6. Joseph says:

    1) I’ve been on the ground in 5 countries.
    2) I have a veritable wealth of nonessential (useless) knowledge.
    3) I can play 9 musical instruments passably well.
    4) I have literally been a part of a miracle.
    5) I am deeply insecure sometimes.

  7. Matt Gates says:

    1. I’m an award winning singer/songwriter.
    2. I drink on occasion, sometimes too much (although it’s been a long time since that happened), but I’ve never had a hangover. Addendum: I was 23 before I had my first sip of alcohol.
    3. My birthday is 7/7/77.
    4. I was homeless once for 8 months.
    5. I’ve never seen “The Notebook” and I’m okay with that.

    • 1. True
      2. True
      3. True
      4. True
      5. True

    • 1. false – and i’m going to feel horrible if that’s true and i didn’t know it.
      2. true
      3. true
      4. true?….
      5. true

    • Mandie says:

      1. False – I’d feel bad too if I didn’t know this?
      2. True
      3. Facebook says true
      4. False
      5. False

    • Matt Gates says:

      1. True—Sharideth and Mandie you can commence feeling bad—NOW. 😉 I actually AM an award winning singer/songwriter. 10 years ago I won an award for the Best New Solo Performer 2001 in my hometown’s weekly entertainment paper’s annual Best of…Reader’s Poll. If you want to check out some old performance videos of me, http://www.youtube.com/mattygfresh and go down to the Originals section.

      2. True—The lamest super power ever, but whatever.

      3. True—As Mandie pointed out, this is on my Facebook. Whoops. Kinda forgot about that.

      4. True—It wasn’t living on the streets homeless; I did a lot of couch hopping and spent a few nights in my car here and there, but it wasn’t exactly a picnic either.

      5. True—One of the plus sides of being a perpetually single guy is not having to watch chick flicks with your girl and pretending that you keep getting something stuck in your eye.

  8. Tyler says:

    1. I’ve been to Taiwan on business.
    2. I once won a travel bag at a stand up comedy show without telling any jokes.
    3. I’ve never had braces.
    4. I’ve never been to Branson.
    5. These are the most boring 5 truth/lies ever.

  9. Jeff says:

    1. I’ve seen Star Wars Episode 1:The Phantom Menace more than any other movie. The number of times I’ve seen it exceeds 20.
    2. I’ve received multiple marriage proposals in rural Cambodia, mainly from women asking me to marry their 14 year old daughters.
    3. I didn’t step foot outside Canada until I turned 23 last year.
    4. I will only buy shoes that make me look slightly taller.
    5. I was a semi-professional snowboarder in my late teens until I starting sucking and didn’t place in any competitions. Then I quit.

  10. Alyssa says:

    I’m a new reader but figured I’d join in the fun!

    1. I met Jon Acuff at the SCL Christmas party. He was the first blogger I’ve met in person.
    2. I once performed a tap dance while waving fistfulls of sparklers.
    3. Solitaire makes me less stressed so I play it before I fall asleep.
    4. I’ve lived in both states that start with T.
    5. I moved to Nashville to pursue a career as a songwriter.

    • * i heart new readers.

      1. true – so did i. he side hugged me and told me my fly was down.
      2. i want this to be true so bad.
      3. true
      4. true
      5. true

      • alyssaemi says:

        2.false, that was an idea mentioned in a meeting I was in yesterday for a recording artist, but I am a tap dancer.

        5. false, moved here for college and the music industry thing, I’ve never written a song and I can’t sing either.

  11. Ashli says:

    1. I once rode a runaway camel.
    2. I went to one of the biggest party schools in the South, yet I’m not a partier.
    3. I am a first year sped teacher that questions her sanity on daily basis.
    4. I’ve received 3 marriage proposals in 1 day, 2 of which were for me to be a man’s 2nd or 3rd wife.
    5. While I’m not a performer, I once performed a song & dance routine for over 10,000 people in China. And it was on TV.

  12. Jenn says:

    Well I’m a little late to the game:

    1. The only times I have been outside of North America is to travel to Russia.

    2. I use Botox – it’s preventative, I know what my mother looks like

    3. I don’t drive – never have, never will

    4. I have not consumed fast food of any kind in over a year, and do not forsee that occuring

    5. I am running my second marathon in 5 days in the lovely city of Houston.

  13. David Robbins says:

    1. I am a nice person.
    2. I wear pants.
    3. I’m wearing your pants.
    4. Everybody in the club’s gettin tipsy.
    5. #

  14. 1. I only served one tour in Iraq with the Louisiana National Guard.
    2. I recorded a full-length CD of songs that I also wrote.
    3. I got caught trespassing at the Louisiana Governor’s Mansion, then half an hour later had a picture taken with him.
    4. I have been a professional student for the past ten years since graduating high school.
    5. I got slapped by a militant feminist for something I said during a Women’s Literature class.

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