Wondering about your thoughts on ways to kindly communicate to a friend that you are not interested in them. You know, like when you have a pretty good hunch that they are into you, and you kind of secretly enjoy that validation, also know that its not going to happen and have been strung along before and have vowed to reduce the overall douchebaggery in the world and thus never to do that to others?
It seems like the direct approach is a bit presumptuous, but the indirect approach could be even worse.
Not A Douchebag
I commend your attempt at reducing douchebaggery. After you do away with leading girls on, can I suggest you go after a ban on deep Vs? Also, big thumbs up for admitting you like the validation of her admiration but aren’t going to use her for it. I think I just heard a collective swoon from my lovely lady readers.
Honestly, this one is hard for me to answer because I don’t know what kind of girl you’re dealing with. Is she the kind that will stay your friend for years in hopes you’ll come around? Because that girl is more common than you think. Is she the type that will get the hint when you ask her advice on asking another girl out? Is she into you but also not going to wait around for you because lame and she’s too confident to do that?
If she’s the first, you have to stop hanging out with her. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the only way. Any attention from you will be hoarded as hope.
If she’s the second, great. That’s easy. Letting her know you’re pursuing someone else, even a nonspecific someone else, will do the trick. Specific is better though. That way she doesn’t do the girl thing of twisting it her brain to think you’re getting her advice on how to ask her out.
What? Don’t get mad at me, ladies. We’ve all done it.
There’s also a possibility you can keep the friendship with no weirdness, but that will be up to her. If she stops interacting with you, let her go.
The third is my favorite. She’s decided you’re someone who she’d like to have along in her life, but has embraced her own self worth enough to not need you or wait around for you. She may end being one of your best friends and a true confidant. Just let her know you appreciate her friendship. She’ll get it. She’s also the one you could straight up tell you only feel friendship for if the subject comes up. She can take it.
Under no circumstances, no matter what kind of girl you’re dealing with, do you tell her you want to meet someone like her. That sounds like a compliment to you, but trust me, no bueno. That will either make her desperate for you because you just don’t realize yet how much you love her *sighgaspOMG* or it will make her want to cut your nether regions to ribbons.
Oh so sincerely,