Phone it in Phriday – Mother’s Day Edition

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You’re welcome.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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How to Win at Mother’s Day

Some of you might remember that two years ago Craig bought me an axe for Mother’s Day. For those who are gaping in horror at your laptop right now, here’s me using it:

me-chopping-wood

And…I loved it. That wasn’t my only gift, but it was the only one I asked for. What? Axes are awesome! Anyhoo, Craig always wins at Mother’s Day because he bothers to think about what I might like and does that. He either gets me exactly what I ask for or drops a surprise that is specific to me.

That’s how it is done, fellas. Please make a note of it.

Until you reach shopping level:pro like Craig, I’m here to help. My benevolence and loathing of awful gifts knows no bounds. So I’m revamping my favorite online shopping sites from last year. There’s going to be a couple of nips and tucks and a complete removal of all that stress you’re feeling because you are just now realizing that Mother’s Day is in 2 weeks. Don’t worry. All these places have shipping services that will totally save your ass.

Here we go:

giftsLogo

The logo/link will take you to a page where they have women broken down into interests/personality types and you can click on the one that is most like the mom you’re buying for and get her something awesome.

thisiswhyimbroke

Oh dear lord.  I am truly very sorry if I’m the one who is exposing you to this wonder of the interwebz where you will spend all your disposable income and waste hours dreaming of what could be.  But don’t be mad at me, blame Matt Gates.  It’s his fault. Also, do not take my warning of how much this site will consume you lightly. I recently touted it’s wonders on the 9 Thumbs podcast and nearly shut down the recording.

ugLogo

This one is broken down into categories so it is easy to navigate to items that might be super cool for your mother, the mother of your children, grandmother, mother-in-law, step-mother…

Now you’re panicking and wondering where the shopping stops, aren’t you? Sorry. I’m going to totally leave you hanging on that one.

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This is the highest rated flower delivery company in the country.  the prices are competitive and the arrangements are lovely.  I have already established that any woman who says she hates getting flowers is a bald faced liar, but you’d better make it good.  Spend the money for something unique.  Do not cheap out on carnations or I will personally hang you out to dry on Twitter.

So have at it.  Make her day awesome.

What are some other good shopping websites?

What is your version of perfect Mother’s Day gift to give or to receive?

How to Win at Mother’s Day

last year i tore Men’s Health a new one when it came to their Mother’s Day suggestions.  that terrible publication really needs to be put down when it comes to all issues female.

feel free to read that for my alternative recommendations for Mother’s Day.  they still apply.

this year i’m going more generalized and am going to trust you to pick something out all by your lonesome.  don’t worry.  i won’t leave you hanging.  there will be guidance in the form of some of my favorite websites where you can buy stuff.  especially handy if your mom lives far away so you can drop ship that crap.

here we go:

Gifts.com

the link will take you to a page where they have women broken down into interests/personality types and you can click on the one that is most like the mom you’re buying for and get her something awesome.

That’s Why I’m Broke

oh dear lord.  i am truly very sorry if i’m the one who is exposing you to this wonder of the interwebz where you will spend all your disposable income and waste hours dreaming of what could be.  but don’t be mad at me, blame Matt Gates.  it’s his fault.

UncommonGoods.com

this one is broken down into categories so it is easy to navigate to items that might be super cool for your mom or the mother of your children.

1800Flowers.com

this is the highest rated flower delivery company in the country.  the prices are competitive and the arrangements are lovely.  i have already established that any woman who says she hates getting flowers is a bald faced liar, but you’d better make it good.  spend the money for something unique.  do not cheap out on carnations or i will personally hang you out to dry on Twitter.

so have at it.  make her day awesome.

oh and Craig, if you’re reading this, everything i want is located on my Amazon.com wish list which is conveniently logged in on my laptop.

what are some other good shopping websites?

Mother’s Day recap

yeah, that's me. my butt looks ginormous.

“It’s Mothers Day and the wood needs chopping. Gonna buy Sharideth an axe.” – craig’s facebook status yesterday.

and he did just that.

you heard me.

thanks to a thoughtful suggestion by GFresh, he also bought me gloves so i wouldn’t get blisters, but only after a minor disagreement about whether or not allowing gloves would inhibit me from toughening up.

here’s the thing though…not only did i want the axe (and gloves), craig also took me to an amazing Mother’s Day brunch, added some choice items while we were at Home Depot buying the axe and completely decked out our deck with a new umbrella for our table, tiki torches and white christmas lights.  he cleaned out our fire pit, washed down the deck and got us all set up to entertain in our back yard.  it’s like heaven.

he would never post that on facebook though.  he’d rather y’all just think he bought me an axe.

so boys, take a page from craig.  know what she wants.  know what is going to make her beam like Rainbow Brite and give it to her.

am i still unpacking from our move and tempted to just throw out every box still to be opened and start over with nothing?  yes.  yes, i am.  but my kids are all “we need forks!  where are the glasses?  mom, we’re hungry!  blah blah blah blah…” 

so i will keep unpacking.  i might not be able to find my clothes, but i can have a cup of coffee and type a blog on my gorgeous deck.

what did you get your wife/mother for mother’s day?

Men’s Health is stupid: Mother’s Day edition

so i did a 2-part series called “according to Men’s Health” here and here.  the conclusion to my break down, Men’s Health is stupid.  here’s another example.

Men’s Health Top 10 Mother’s Day Gifts:

10.  Flowers – “let’s put the most cliche’ gift imaginable on the list, but make it last so it seems like we thought about it.” – Men’s Health writing team.

alternative – flowers are fine for mom, but don’t go cheap and order in advance.  if they are the only thing you are getting for the woman who gave you life, you’d better make it good.  a $10 bouquet from Walmart because you forgot?  unacceptable you ungrateful d-bag.

9.  Candles – cop-out.  both have the same number of letters, start with “c” and suck hard.  if you don’t know enough about your mother to be more creative than candles, i can’t help you.

who am i kidding?  yes i can.

alternative – a bath spa gift basket would do nicely and probably includes a candle if you must give her one.  don’t panic about having to put one together.  any department store, Bath & Body Works type shop or even Target have already done it for you.

8.  Gift Card – just because it says “For You Mom” on it, doesn’t make it right.  this just an upgraded candle cop-out.

alternative – how about you actually take her out to dinner and pay for it?  or take her shopping at whatever store you were going to buy that ill-advised gift card.

7.  Gift Basket – now chill out.  i know i suggested a gift basket like 9 seconds ago.  but the one Men’s Health recommends is full of all the stuff she would need to cook a gourmet meal.  about the only thing a mom wants to make on Mother’s Day is a reservation.

alternative – a gift basket full of her favorite treats.  chocolates and truffles and teas!  oh my!  something she can indulge in without having to dirty all her dishes.

6.  Home Spa Treatment – nothing says “i love you, mom” like a home spa treatment that says “you could look better if you use these products i bought and don’t understand at all”.

alternative – buy her a real spa package where other people do that stuff for her and she gets to lay there and feel amazing and pampered.  duh.

5.  Home Decor – oh em gee.  seriously?  “hey mom!  i love you so much, i bought you a set of decorative towels!”  that’s what Men’s Health links to to make your shopping easier.  someone needs to get punched in the head.

alternative – does your mom collect anything?  buy her something to compliment her collection.  my mom?  porcelain tea cups.  and about a zillion other things.  no collections?  give her a framed pic of you and her.  you’ll be a superhero.

4.  Edible Treats – *insert pic of Edible Bouquets here*  this isn’t so bad, except for the fact that it’s the type of gift she will be required to share and shows an abject lack of personal thought.

alternative – see #7

3.  Greenery – aka “a plant”.  you’d think they would be getting to the good stuff by number 3, right?  apparently not.

alternative – if your mom loves to garden or grow things, this might not be too bad, but you’ll need to be educated about what she likes.  if your only criteria is leaves, pick something else.  if i get a plant for Mother’s Day, somebody gets unborn.

2.  Perfume – 1 question…do you know what kind of perfume your mom wears or likes?  no?  don’t do this.

alternative – can’t think of one.  unless your mom collects perfume or you are absolutely sure of what she’s into, this is just a bad idea all the way around.

1.  Massage and Spa Treatment – ding ding ding.  we have a winner.  would i put it at number 1?  no.  but it does work.  especially if you have to send something to your mom because you live out of town.

word to the wise:

1.  avoid do-it-yourself gifts.  moms want to be catered to on Mother’s Day, not have to work for their pay-off.  (i.e.  gourmet dinner gift basket)

2.  make it personal.  give her a gift that is specific to her likes and tastes.  it shows thought; which for a mom, is a gift all by itself.

3.  spend time.  instead of giving your mom some random gift card, spend time as well as money on her.  this is quite possibly the single most appreciated thing you can do for your mom on Mother’s Day.

your turn.  what are some other good Mother’s Day gifts?

what are some horrible ones?