Dear Sharideth—
Recently, I started talking to a guy I met on the interwebz. He’s been in a few serious relationships, and I have been in exactly zero. I’m 28, and he’s 29. We both seem to like each other and have enough in common and enough in not common to keep the conversation going. However, since I am not familiar with how to build a relationship of the romantic type, I don’t know what to say or what to ask to foster that.
Also, he’s a couple of states away, so the relationship (if it gets romantic) will be long distance which is also something I don’t know how to do.
All of that to say, I hope that’s where it goes. I don’t mind the distance (except that I know it will be hard) because I don’t mind moving if it comes to it. I just want to make sure I get the beginning right, don’t get my hopes too high, and have fun.
I don’t know if any of this makes any sense. It’s just new to me to like someone and have him like me back.
Sincerely,
New to This
Dear NTT,
I use to be anti-internet dating. It was my old person equivalent of “get off my lawn”. I didn’t want any of that newfangled nonsense getting in the way of romance making. Because there couldn’t be any real personal connection made over the internet, right?
Wrong.
I realized it’s really kind of medieval and I kinda started to like it.
Medieval? Sharideth, you know this 2013, right?
Yes. Duh.
But when someone in the way back wanted to get to know someone else, they wrote letters. Today? Emails. Then Skype. Then eventually the IRL. It’s a great way to get to know someone without all the physical stuff muddying the waters.
So how do you do this?
You let it progress naturally. One step at a time. If you try to force the next thing…no bueno. Enjoy the time you’ve got to just learn how to talk to each other. In my never humble opinion, that’s is the bedrock of any relationship. Then…see what happens. If you’re both on the same page about the attraction, you will start to talk about the future, emails will become more intimate, the connection stronger.
Two of my friends were pretty sure they were going to get married before they ever met in person. Something I would have found crazy five years ago. They’ve all but set the date now and they’re adorable. Another couple of friends are successfully dating while she lives in Canada and he in Mississippi. They met in the comments section of a blog.
There’s no guarantee you will have the same happy ending, but that’s true for any dating situation. For now, breathe. Enjoy the conversation and relax. You just never know what could happen.
Oh so sincerely,
Sharideth
What advice do you guys have for our friend? I know some of you have been there, done that.
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