Twitter Twaddle #IfWeDate

Click on the dead bird to follow my ridiculousness on Twitter.

Click on the dead bird to follow my ridiculousness on Twitter.

Maybe I should have titled this one “Undatable Girl Edition”. Not all of them are written by terrible women, but probably 80% that I read are.

Protip: Guys, if you ever want to cull the herd of available women, just watch what they post on Twitter when a relationship trend is underway.

#IfWeDate Ill let you touch my boobs whenever – *presented without comment*

#IfWeDate you better defend me in EVERYTHING – So yeah. Couple of questions. How often does it come that he would need to defend you? And what exactly is “EVERYTHING”?

#Ifwedate bitch you better be committed..if you weren’t going to committed bitch you shouldn’t have asked me to be with you. – I’m pretty sure every guy reading this is going to think twice before asking you out. In a perfect world, they won’t need to use up the second thought.

#IfWeDate you’ll know every mistake I’ve ever made but you’ll forgive me and help me through it – This is a fixer-upper, fellas. Proceed with caution.

#IfWeDate you have to be real!!! Not imaginary 😒 – Fair enough.

#IfWeDate I’ll spoil you, cuddle you, do whatever you want, make you dinner but know that i will always think you might deep down hate me O_o

#IfWeDate you Better never talk to any other girls unless I allow it – If you date this girl, you deserve whatever you get.

#IfWeDate you better be able to put up with my moods💁– Thanks for the heads up. Also, no.

#IfWeDate it’s not gonna be easy for you at all. – Well, at least she’s honest.

#IfWeDate just know I like the large #6 on the Taco Bell menu. – And that my friends, is what I call a Keeper.

Confession time. How would you answer #IfWeDate?

Advertisements

9 comments on “Twitter Twaddle #IfWeDate

  1. This one was recently added and belongs on the list:

    #IfWeDate i’ll throw u out the window for no reason

    If you date this girl, live underground.

    • Lauren says:

      ‘Cause defenestration is super sexy. (Sorry, I don’t often get a chance to use the word “defenestration”.)

  2. #ifwedate – give me your real self from the start… Don’t put on a show for 3 or 4 months and then turn into a douchebag like almost every other guy I have dated. (And the list ain’t long)

  3. It’s fun to imagine all of these being written by the same person. It’s NOT fun to imagine dating that person.

  4. Maria says:

    If we date: It will be easier if you don’t try too hard to understand the quirks. Just roll with it.

  5. vickrick91 says:

    This should be on every guy’s avoid list….and he should be thankful she put it out there before hand

  6. Soul Walker says:

    You really should listen to this when you get a minute… it is an interview with a woman who wrote a book about advice to women. It sounds (from the interview) like it’s a terrible book full of terrible advice… and she sounds like a girl who would be last on my list of girls to date… I think anyone would love how awkward the interview is and if you have a half hour… it could be fantastic material.

    http://you-monsters-are-people.com/2013/07/24/the-you-monsters-are-people-audio-experience-what-women-dont-want/

    This is… well I just thought it was hilarious.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s