Dating Someone Who Is Not Dating You


I get a lot of suggestions for stories, topics, videos, whatever for my blog. Some I use, some I don’t, all I appreciate.

Especially this one…

Recently I had a conversation with a couple of friends that started, “Go ahead. You tell her.” Pretty much my favorite way for anything to start. Unless it’s coming from my children because that’s always going to end badly and/or expensively with the potential for rage.

Anyway, this particular story must be told. It’s not a Dear Sharideth because this girl didn’t ask for my advice, but oh man, she’s going to get it anyway.

Apparently for about six months this girl has been dating a guy that she cooks for, drops everything for and does some general but consistent mooning over and what does she get in return?

“I’m not into making a commitment right now, but you should still keep doing things for me and let’s make out.”

For SIX months.

Now I don’t know all the details. I never do. But if what I was told is even 70% accurate (and I believe the percentage is much higher than that) then the answer to this is pretty clear.

He’s a douche and she needs to get a grip. Real talk for this darling girl, she is not going to change him. Like, ever. There is no meal delicious enough to get him to commit. He’s living the dream. A girl who does everything a girlfriend does and more and who he doesn’t have to invest anything in? Awesome! At least in his selfish turd mind.


She needs to cut her losses and her grocery bill and kick this guy to the curb. Then give him a total freeze out when he sucks up and tries to get her back because he’s hungry and/or bored. I want her to get a firm grip on her self-respect and throw down. Six months is way over due for this guy to decide if he wants to be with her exclusively. If he’s not there yet, it’s time for the little bird to leave the nest because he’s treating her like a mom he makes out with it.

That’s a disgusting analogy, Sharideth!

I know, right? I’m pretty proud of it.

Ever dated someone who is not really dating you?

What would you say to this girl?


7 comments on “Dating Someone Who Is Not Dating You

  1. Sarah L says:

    Those guys really do suck. I’ve had one that ‘not dated’ me and my two roommates for the past, umm, twoish years. He even lead one roommate on through daily texting for 5 months then dropped her. He has now moved on to the next roommate, who he is finally ‘dating’ six months later, but still feels like a total jerk.

  2. likebutta says:

    Then again, she might lose interest if he ever did come around (not saying that would ever happen). But, sometimes the chase is more exciting than the catch. Although I had a roommate with a bf who would smugly pop over for late-night visits and she would make him pancakes every single morning. I thought about intervening, but those pancakes were so good and I didn’t want it to stop. Selfish me.

  3. vickrick91 says:

    Been the there and done that…unfortuantely there is nothing anyone can say to her. She has to learn the hard way, I know I did. The best friend can be the one who is there to support her.

  4. That is a completely perfect analogy. I hope she tells it to him when she breaks up with him.

  5. a Relationships must be given enough time by both couple so that it can grow, flourished, and last lifetime. Couple should fixed problems right away so that it will not blow into heated arguments. Nice tip I read today

  6. Lynne says:

    I’ve had a few of those attempt to pull this routine on me (including someone in a long distance relationship, who didn’t tell me, until I found out from facebook friending him, douche) and they were gone. I won’t put up with it.

  7. I just want to say, “Oh honey,” to her. Her girlfriends should have a movie night and watch all those romantic comedies where the guy is a schmuck, and comment on “How can the movie woman not see it? So glad she kicked him to the curb, etc.”

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