So I had another post planned that was going to be a heavy topic delivered with my absolute disregard for propriety. Obvi. But I couldn’t write it. Didn’t have it in me today. So I searched the internet for the ridiculous things other people say about relationships and found this at Fox News:
My first thought, “Oh man. This is going to be the motherload of fools gold!”
Surprisingly, disappointingly, I was wrong. It’s some good stuff. Probably because it wasn’t written by anyone at Fox News. Go ahead and give it a read. It’s short. I’ll wait.
*Jeopardy Theme Music with segue into Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting for You*
You’re back? Awesome. Here’s my take on all five of those things women want most:
1. Time – Yes. It doesn’t even have to be super quality time as long as she gets some every day. Right now, Craig and I are both sharing the same space. I’m writing this. He’s watching Counting Cars on the History Channel. But that doesn’t mean we’re disengaged from each other. If I have something to say to him, he pauses his show and is there for me. If he has something to say to me, I pull out my noise cancelling headphones and nod enthusiastically about the way a carburetor was installed.
Don’t try to make it into a super intense soul-bonding experience everyday. That would get exhausting. It just has to be a little time that belongs to only the two of you to reinforce the contentment you have found in each other.
2. Appreciation – Guys, you have no idea how far a little, “thanks for the clean socks” will go. She’ll float on that all freaking day. She doesn’t need a pride parade for everything she does, but letting her know you notice her effort will feel, to her, like you’ve just spelled out her name in sparklers.
3. Understanding – Okay, okay. Calm down. Breathe into a bad or something. I know this is a hard one and pretty much why my blog exists. BUT…you don’t have to understand all the nuances that make up the mystery of your woman. You just have to actively try. What I really liked about the article is the author admonishes women to keep the need to communicate their thoughts short and to the point. Ladies, it doesn’t matter how much your man wants to understand what you’re saying, after 15-20 minutes, you’re probably going to lose him. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because he’s exhausted and needs a break.
4. Fun – God forbid you should enjoy each other, right? And I’m not even talking about in the biblical sense. Though that is super fun. Fun can be cracking a joke, twirling her around unexpectedly, dancing like a Peanuts kid in the middle of the kitchen, taking her for drive to nowhere in a 68′ Fury (huh, those last two sound weirdly specific)…anything that makes her giggle like an idiot.
5. Kind Gestures – I can not emphasize enough how important this is. A kiss on the cheek while she’s making dinner, a touch across the shoulders as you walk away, a phone call for no reason what-so-ever, a text with a completely useless emoticon…anything that communicates your connection to her. The article suggests doing five gestures a day for a week and see what kind of difference it makes in the relationship. I bet it’s profound.
I know a lot of you are single and still looking for the person you can spend the rest of your life trying not to drive bat shit. And this post might seem at best irrelevant because you can’t apply it and at worst frustrating because you can’t apply it. Fine. I get it. But these are things you will want to keep in your secret fanny pack for future reference. Cross my heart and hope to die as Lindsay Lohan’s new lips.
What qualifies as a “kind gesture” in your book?