everybody cheats and that’s okay

all men cheat. it’s in their nature. they can’t help it, nor should they because that’s how they were designed to be and the sooner women come to terms with that the better.

right?

craig was telling two girls about me and when he got to the part about me having a sex podcast and a relationship blog they assumed that meant we have an open marriage and thought we super cool for being so progressive and comfortable with our lack of monogamy.

to which craig brilliantly and cleverly responded, “uhhhhhh, no…”

when he explained that not only has he never cheated on me, but in fact has never been with anybody else period, they began to pity him. how sad that his experience is so limited and he should really fix that immediately.

turns out, their perspective is pretty normal in the 20 something crowd.

call me old fashioned, but i think that is the biggest steaming pile of bullshit i’ve ever heard.

really 20 somethings? you expect your boyfriend/husband/father to just cheat it up because, well, why wouldn’t they?

let me tell you why they wouldn’t. because while being attracted to several different people is natural, cheating on someone you are committed to is a choice.

and a shitty one at that.

calm down. i’m not here to sit in judgment over anyone who’s cheated. people make mistakes. i’m here to sit in judgment over people who believe cheating is normal, that monogamy is ridiculous and expect absolutely nothing but the lowest common denominator from the people they date.

what happened to self-control? what happened to respecting yourself and the person you’ve committed to? when did people stop learning how to say no? when did selfishness become the expectation?

gah! it’s disgusting.

dammit ladies, you need to expect more from the men around you. there are still men out there who are honorable and kind. who not only understand the importance of monogamy, but are actively pursuing it.

stop all this ridiculous settling!

hmph!

what say you?

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20 comments on “everybody cheats and that’s okay

  1. turnerbethany says:

    Love this!

  2. Karin says:

    Thank you! Sometimes it seems as if we’re the only ones left who believe in monogamy & in no sex before marriage, but that’s hopefully just the media talking

  3. Jen says:

    Agreed. As a child of a parent who cheated, there’s definitely difference between forgiveness and thinking it’s just an “okay” or “normal” thing to do. It’s not. It’s hurtful, and not just to your spouse, to your entire family.

  4. Jennwith2ns says:

    I say you nailed it again, Sharideth. In whatever way you wish to interpret “nailed it,” I guess. 😉

  5. How DARE you ask people not to indulge their desires?! How DARE you ask people to exercise even a modicum of self-control?! How DARE you ask people to make and respect commitments?! YOU MONSTER.

    Anyway: count me as one who still holds to those old notions of commitment and self-control.

  6. Awesome post – but I have to confess that I regularly cheat on your blog by reading other female writers such as Jamie Golden, Alise Write, Jessica Buttram and Leanne Shirtliffe. Don’t hate me…

  7. This. It really is why I like you so much, Sharideth.

  8. I think it is interesting how many people believe you would be happier cheating and having multiple partners. Better to have 20 shallow relationships than 1 really meaningful and deep one built on constant trust and love.

    Anyway, totally agree with you

  9. Autumn says:

    I.love.this.post.

  10. asoulwalker says:

    If a girl I am dating expects me to cheat… I am going to dump her. I can put up with lots of different kinds of crazy… but that speaks volumes… the kind of tomes I don’t want to read anymore.

  11. Three comments (my $0.06) and a nasty bonus:

    You’re more than right. When my little brother got married at 20 years old, some of his classmates were wondering if he really didn’t want somebody else first. I think that’s the sickest thing ever. Even if you don’t believe in the Godly intention of marriage and monogamy as a way of leading up to marriage, I thought you could at least see the romance in the idea of monogamy and having just one sexual partner.

    Every now and then, the newspaper features a story on people who used to believe the best way to counter jealousy was to have an open relationship. It scars you for life, you don’t have to be a christian to see that.

    One of my friends has a serious relationship with a girl, who has had a sexual partner before him. He said how that’s troubling to him, because she is his first. He admitted sometimes he feels he has a sort of right to try having sex with someone else. I believe that’s the sort of thing that destroys relationships and eventually humanity. It’s not having the urge, it’s telling yourself “It’s okay for ME.” even when they would be furious to have it done to them.

    Every time a guy tells me it’s his nature to look for more women, I pull down my pants and will go #2 on the spot, while loudly proclaiming how glad I am not having to control my urges with him. Self control can lead to so much happiness and is so underrated.

  12. Cass says:

    One of my favorite posts of yours. 🙂

  13. Grant Rice says:

    Is this really about cheating? I’ve never cheated on a partner but I’ve had several sexual partners because my relationships don’t always stick. I think in almost every circle cheating is considered a really bad and unexpected thing within the context of a relationship where both parties have agreed to be monogamous.

  14. Lindsay Eryn says:

    Cheating is low (and wrong), no matter what your age.

    – A 20 something planning on getting married next summer

  15. Austin Gilly says:

    As a 20-something male, I don’t understand this way of thinking. It blow my mind that guys think it’s ok to do, but even more so that girls are ok with being treated that way.

  16. jonnybgood says:

    dear sharideth i cant telll ya how i hurt for the next generation when todays generation wont pick up the most worthy tourch of monogamy and fathful relationships i say if its not a fathul one its not a real one.
    thats why we have kids growing up with out fathers … selfishness and more selfishness they want to have fun but dont have the charecter to be a man!…
    a fathful man who can find
    he is like the virtuous woman

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