5 terrible reasons to start dating someone

“are all high school boys so dumb?” favorite question my daughter has ever asked me? possibly. of course i answered, “yes. yes, they are. especially the ones with bench seats in their cars. they’re the dumbest and you shouldn’t go anywhere near them.” she sees many of her friends jumping straight into relationships in high school and kind of can’t believe the ridiculous drama it creates.

if you are wondering why she is so smart about these things, it’s because her father and i have been indoctrinating her since birth to frown on young dating and to think boys are dumb. it’s working. so far. probably right up until the “cutest boy ever” asks her out…

what i find interesting is that people who are suppose to be adults, still get into relationships for reasons that are just as bad as high school students. the only difference is the adults have what they think are better excuses for their terrible decisions.

5 terrible reasons to start dating someone:

1. your church told you to – oh man. i have seen this happen so many times. the director of the singles program and his wife of 5 days suddenly receive the gift of knowledge and it is exclusively about who should date who. if your singles director ever starts a conversation with “you know who should really pray about dating?” run. it is not God’s will for them to pair you up so they have enough people to use all 8 place settings they just got for their wedding.

2. boredom – happens more than you think. you know when you’re looking for something on TV and there’s nothing on any of the 947 channels you are under a 24 month contract to pay for and you end up settling for reruns of Iron Chef? it’s like that. there’s really no one that you’re super excited about so you settle for whoever happens to come closest at the moment. that’s got happy ending written all over it, right?

3. to make someone else jealous – this is double dose of awful because it has the added benefit of making you a douche bag. i really don’t care how awesome you think the new girl is, if you’re parading her in front of your ex, you are a jack ass who shouldn’t be dating anyone.

4. free stuff – know what’s not so hard to do? convincing yourself you’re into someone with money. she might look like one of those troll dolls from the 70’s, but her boat is sex-ay! talk to me about her inner beauty and innate kindness all you want, but when you’re dropping that as afterthought behind the weekend you spent at her parents beach condo, i’m not going to believe you.

5. as a distraction – totally different from boredom. what? it is. bite me. dating someone as a distraction means that you’ve taken on a person to cover up for whatever personal issues you don’t want to deal with or to be with while you pine for someone else. it’s like a bandaid over a severed limb only this bandaid has actual feelings and needs.

concerned you might be getting into a relationship for the wrong reason? check your motives. ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship with that person. if the answers you come up with immediately reflect the character and physical traits of the person, awesome. home free. date away.


if those answers are even remotely mingled with circumstances or pressure from outside sources, no no! bad dog! hit yourself on the nose with a newspaper.

what are some other bad reasons to get into a relationship?


13 comments on “5 terrible reasons to start dating someone

  1. Lauren Jean says:

    How about to make yourself feel better? Kinda along the lines of “To Make Someone Jealous” but oh so different. Many a girl dates a guy because he calls her pretty when she feels like less than that. Never ends well.

    • I think that one falls under the heading of #5. You choose the person to distract you from not feeling pretty, because their words help cover it over, without actually dealing with the root question of why you feel inadequate.

  2. Jen says:

    If you think “if I just had a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband my life would be complete.” I have a lot of friends who think this way.

  3. Or my favorite….. Wanting to get laid regularly, but not being clever enough to set up a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.

  4. the other lisa says:

    Ha ha, these are good. But I must confess I am the exception to #1. My pastor said those exact words to me and now I am married to that guy. But it probably wouldn’t have worked out if my husband hadn’t already noticed me and was planning to ask me out on a date. Thankfully no one pushed us but our church family was very supportive when we went public with our relationship several months later. It probably also helped that we were in our late 20s and early 30s and our church family knew us both well. But normally, run!

  5. The band-aid over a severed limb imagery is excellent. I’m snickering over a mental image of what a band-aid with emotional issues would be like, though.

  6. Jeremy says:

    First, I would like to say that there is nothing wrong with watching Iron Chef reruns.

    Second, I have no second, but Iroan Chef is awesome. Morimoto is a culinary god. Him and Batali.

  7. jonnybgood says:

    what if you hang out with someone less than what you hold yourself to standards wise. .. or is that settling?
    or is their sompthing simply human about it?

  8. Loving this, and it’s bloody hilarious!
    It is sad how people date for completely the wrong reasons and sometimes even MARRY for these wrong reasons!

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