don’t even ask me to put a number what makes a long term relationship, because it would be useless. some people count it in years and some people feel like a few months is f.o.r.e.v.e.r. so no. i won’t give you a time frame.
what i will give you is a definition.
long term relationship: noun. verb. adjective. being in a romantic alliance with some you think is super neat for so long, your lives are intertwined and some of your personal belongings probably reside at each other’s houses.
when it ends, undoing that intertwining can be less like untying a knot and more like an episode of Dexter. only i really hope you don’t keep a blood sample in your air duct.
long term relationships can often mean long term break ups. or what i like to call “dating purgatory”. it’s that state of limbo where you feel like you’ve invested so much in the relationship that a clean break is impossible and possibly even unwise.
you’d be wrong. twice.
here’s a fun little factoid for you. the odd’s of both of you being on the same page about “a break” is so small, you’d need to be Ryan Seacrest to see it. almost always one of you is hoping that the relationship will miraculously repair itself by spending less time together.
geez sharideth, when you put it that way, it sounds nutso.
right. it is.
the other person though…brace yourselves…is just too much of a coward to come out and say that he/she (but probably he) wants to move on. he/she (but probably he) will drag out the inevitable, because owning up to having just
wasted invested so much time in one person and then realizing it’s not really what he/she (but probably he) wanted is scary and he/she (but probably he) is a) spineless, b) wants to minimize the other person’s pain by dragging out that pain for another several months or c) doesn’t believe either of those things are true, but they totally are and the sooner you get your head around them, the better.
i’ve already written about how to break up with someone a few times, but the main points can be found here:
but there are a couple of things i want to add to those.
1. get your stuff back – do not leave your copy of Skyrim at her house just as an excuse to see her again. have her box up your crap and give it all back in one go around
2. do not “what if” yourself to death – sleep…good. committed to an institution…bad. let it go. don’t dwell on “wasted time”, think about “lessons learned”. breathe in the free air and don’t shackle yourself to history.
3. don’t mope – find something constructive to do with your time. be too busy to be pathetic. all that stuff you haven’t gotten around to? get around to it.
i’ve said it before but i’m really into quoting myself so…
your relationship died. you didn’t.
funny thing about time, it keeps moving forward no matter how long you keep looking back.
ever had a long term relationship end? how did you handle it?