dear sharideth: Is My Ex Boyfriend Still Interested

Dear Sharideth,

My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for 5 months now.  He is seeing someone else.  However, every time he sees me he lights up like he’s so happy and I catch him checking me out.  He’s never said anything that I can be sure is flirting, but he does know I still have feelings for him.

Does he still have feelings for me?  I’m uncomfortable with what appears to be his interest in me because he’s seeing someone else and I don’t want to be “that girl”.  Should I say something to him?  It hurts me and makes it harder to move on when he always acts so happy to see me.  Any advice would be helpful.

Thank you.

Just Want To Get Over Him

dear JWTGOH,

*le sigh*  boys can be so dumb.  does he still have feelings for you?  possibly.  is he flirting with you?  probably.  is he being an insensitive butthead because he knows you still have feelings for him?  definitely.  though he probably doesn’t see it that way.

i also think he’s probably not going to take it any farther.  being insensitive/oblivious doesn’t mean he’s a cheater cheater pumpkin eater.  if he’s got a girlfriend, he’s probably established in his own head a certain boundary for flirting that he’s holding to.  pretty likely that’s why he hasn’t said anything flirty.

however, if it continues to bother you, you should probably talk to him.  it doesn’t have to be dramatic.  a simple, “hey, i kinda feel like you’re being a little flirty, which would normally be cool, but you know i’m still working through my feelings for you, so could you just keep it more friendly.  i can handle friendly.”  do it with a smile on your face and don’t be aggressive or defensive.  the more at ease you can be when you deliver the message, the more at ease he’ll be to receive what you’re saying and it will minimize the awkwards.

running into the ex boyfriend can be uber lame.  even if his behavior doesn’t change, you’re going to have to find a way to cope and let it go.  if you get to that point, he’s going to notice.  you’ll be able to tell the depth of his character by how he responds to you moving on.  if he ramps up his flirty ways while still seeing the other girl, he’s a tool.  scratch that.  he’s the whole tool box.  that won’t mean he wants to be back to together with you.  it means he’s a selfish jerk who just wants the ego stroke of your attention.  if he ramps it up and he’s no longer seeing the new girl, you might have another chance.  that is, if you want one.  you’ll know if he’s letting you move on with some measure of grace and decency if he just keeps it friendly, if not mildly flirty.

hope that helps.

oh so sincerely,

sharideth

anyone ever have to deal with a flirty ex?  how did you handle it?

any other advice for our friend?

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2 comments on “dear sharideth: Is My Ex Boyfriend Still Interested

  1. jonnybgood says:

    sounds quite well said… i supose i wouldnt have even said it that goood and i can usually find a decient word… cutos
    i probably would have said sompthing like you have to first understand before you can get to being understanding but still your answer was my favorite.

  2. Chris says:

    Who initiated the breakup?

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