“You don’t know her like I do…”

lyrics from the terrible country song that inspired this post written in an even worse font

so i was listening to country radio…

what?

don’t judge me.

and this song came on by some dude named Brantley Gilbert, who i can only assume got beat up a lot?  right?

anyway, the song is You Don’t Know Her Like I Do.  yep, told you i was listening to country radio.  the gist is that this guy is moaning and wailing over his girlfriend leaving and his buddies are all “good riddance!” and he’s all “she’s my best friend!” blah blah twang blah.

but it got me thinking…

reason #437 why country music is dangerous to society.

i went through this with Craig.  all of a sudden my parents went from thinking he walked on water to practically hating his guts.  shoot, my friends even staged an intervention to try and get me to stop dating him.

they were all wrong.

long story short…a long time friend of my parents and Craig’s dad’s former business partner (same guy) filled my parents’ heads with all sorts of lies about Craig because he was mad at him.  my friends?  they were just nuts.  thought i should stick with my standard MO of dating super jocks (which was clearly working out so well for me).  Craig was “not anything like my type”.  of course they didn’t get that’s why i liked him considering “my type” included jealous, controlling, gone off to war or crazy stalker.

it was a rare case of the people i trusted to look out for my best interest, being dead wrong.  and i knew it.

and when i say “rare”, i mean Hope Diamond rare.  just because i was an exception, doesn’t mean you will be.

p.s.  my parents realized their mistake, apologized to Craig and have had a great relationship with him for years now.  my friends?  aren’t so close to me anymore.  again, totally nuts.

the phrase “You don’t know her like I do” is a gangrenous leg to stand on to be sure.  but what about when the guy is right and she’s getting a bad wrap for no good reason?  how can you know the difference?  being objective in a situation like this can be almost as impossible as enjoying listening to Miley Cyrus talk.

NEVER FEAR! List of Reason Girl is here!

no?  that was dumb, bordering on “should be wearing a helmet”, you say?

fine.

if you find yourself having to use the phrase “You don’t know her like I do”, here are some questions you need to ask yourself in order to figure out if your friends/family actually do know her better than you do or if they really just don’t get it.

1.  do you fight a lot? – if you just asked yourself “define ‘a lot'”, then the answer is yes, you do.

2.  do your friends and family ask you to bring her along to events or do they never mention her in the invite? – for those of your who just realized this actually happens, you might want to remove the blow dart from your heart before answering the next one or it could be fatal.

3.  do your friends/family have specific concerns about her? – generalities can be discounted as personal preference, but if they have specific things they’ve noticed and are concerned enough to bring to your attention, you might need to listen up.

4.  what percentage of the time do you feel truly happy being with her? – not needing to be with her, but truly happy and content.

5.  are you becoming a better man because she consistently inspires you in positive ways? – or do you regularly fear her disapproval?

if you can honestly answer these questions with all positive responses, awesome.  have a little sit down with your friends and/or family and have a little pow wow about why they feel the way they do about your girl and WITHOUT BEING DEFENSIVE, let them know how and why they’ve got it wrong.

if you can’t answer these question positively without making excuses, then you’re right.  your friends and family don’t know her like you do.  they know her better.  objectivity can be a bitch, but it can also keep you from marrying one.

what are some other signs he might be with someone who isn’t good for him?

ever been in a situation like this?  how did it work out?

 

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4 comments on ““You don’t know her like I do…”

  1. Very good and clear advice. I’ve been in a relationship like that (where I recognized the ‘define fighting a lot’), but I’ve also been in a relationship with a girl that all my friends really didn’t see the appeal in, but who did make me a better man. To be fair, they weren’t my best friends.

  2. Steve says:

    reason #437 why country music is dangerous to society.

    And here’s reason #438:

    Ruth Ann and Lynn come down from Baxter Springs
    That’s one hell raisin’ town way up in Southeastern Kansas
    Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store
    That’s got them Rolling Stones lips up there in bright pink neon, and they right down town where everyone can see ’em
    And they burn all night you know they burn all night you know they burn all night

    Ruth Ann and Lynn they wear them cut off britches and those skinny little halters
    And they’re second cousins to me
    Man I don’t care I want to get between ’em
    With a great big ol’ hard on like a old bois d’ arc fence post
    You could hang a pipe rail gate from
    Do some sister twisters ’til the cows come home
    And we’d be havin’ us a time

  3. Jennwith2ns says:

    Yep. Except I was the one making the excuses. Pretty sure I wish I had seen this list of questions about four years ago. Then again, I still got out, so . . . it’s all good, I guess.

  4. asoulwalker says:

    I don’t know how many girlfriends I’ve had (and I’d rather not think about it) and in all the years only one time did my friends tell me to dump a girl. I really should have listened, “but I’m in love” I said… I was such a dumbass.

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