twitter twaddle: #TheDateWasOverWhen

there’s some gold in this one today.  oh Twitter, you silly, silly girl…boy…thing.

#TheDateWasOverWhen I caught you texting jake from state farm – well, he’s a guy, so…

#TheDateWasOverWhen I looked down and saw your crocs. – serious deal breaker

#TheDateWasOverWhen you & your mom pulled in to pick me up. – maybe she’s a professional chauffeur?

#TheDateWasOverWhen you weren’t in a band – i warn all my band friends to stay away from girls like you.

#TheDateWasOverWhen you said you got 7 kids with 9 babymommas. – wait for it…

#TheDateWasOverWhen yo sister answered the door – oh man.

#TheDateWasOverWhen She somehow unlocked the shackles and ran out of my basement. – told you you should have double locked.

#TheDateWasOverWhen she accidently mentioned her boyfriend – got that ladies?  no talking about your boyfriend on a date.

#TheDateWasOverWhen i finished chewing. get it? “date” is also a tasty fruit? holla – well played.

#TheDateWasOverWhen Yah told me yah don’t drink wine!! – because that’s less classy than spelling “you” wrong.

other ways to tell the date is over?

you guys always kill it.

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9 comments on “twitter twaddle: #TheDateWasOverWhen

  1. stephaniewiseman says:

    you said I was pretty for a fat girl. And I’m not fat.

  2. I knew the date was over when you told me you forgot your wallet. I knew the date was over when you mentioned once having to go to jail for touching an underaged girl. I knew the date was over when you tried to kiss me with spinach in your teeth. These were all true first dates…. honestly I don’t get it.

    • asoulwalker says:

      I forgot my wallet on a date once… that is never ever going to happen again, ever. Seriously, it was years ago and I’m not sure my dignity has even recovered yet. It was really really awful. Now, I can’t even go on a date without my wallet, money in said wallet, and blank checks– not even if (for some very strange reason) I am not supposed to be buying. It was just too awful to risk ever again. Seriously… I’m hypersensitive about it now. I would even rather risk an awkward picking up the check with a female friend I am not dating because she is in the bathroom when it comes than not paying.

  3. Man, all these people have horrible dates. How about,
    #thedatewasoverwhen I kissed her goodnight, felt my heart leap, and started skipping home to “Something tells me I’m into something good” by herman’s hermits.

  4. Michael Mock says:

    #TheDateWasOverWhen she asked how many gray neckties I owned.
    (Kidding)

    How about this one, instead:
    #TheDateIsntOverTil death do us part.

  5. A new agency guy at my work asked out a colleague on a date. She agreed, but suggested that a few of us go out so it was kind of a work night out/get to know you, rather than a date. After we had had a meal at Nado’s we went to a bar for drinks. The guy in question then went to the bathroom for quite a while. It was fairly obvious that he had gone to do more than just empty his bladder. Upon his return, presumably in an attempt at humour, he quipped: ‘I think I’ve just lost a few pounds.’
    It was a “I think I’ll get my coat” moment if ever there was one.

  6. Jennwith2ns says:

    TheDateWasOver when he had to pull over to take a catnap on the side of the road before we got there.

    Actually, it wasn’t, but it should’ve been.

    TheDateWasOver when he made an audible noise of disappointment at the news that the female singer we were watching was in a relationship. (Same date.)

    TheDateWasOver when, in order to keep me from passing out due to low blood sugar from not having eaten since lunch, he begrudgingly let me eat McDonald’s at a rest area. (Also same date. I know . . . )

  7. Kristine says:

    I wasn’t embarrassed to be seen with him, and I certainly did not go back to his place. I simply left when the date was over. He did not actually do anything wrong, we just did not have a connection anymore.

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