talk amongst yourselves

i had a Dear Sharideth all cued* up to post today, like i do most mondays.  but i read back over it and i think i need to let it marinate another 24 hours before i grill it.

so instead i found this quote and i want you guys to talk about it.  i will probably jump in at some point.  by “some point”, i mean when i have a cup of coffee and figure what i actually think about it.

this is a public event, so invite your friends, but make sure they know it’s BYOB and everyone should bring a snack to share.

here it is:

“I’m done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.”

Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story


*i spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to figure out if i should use “cued” or “queued”, then…gave up.  what say you?


12 comments on “talk amongst yourselves

  1. hollyfrees says:

    first. queue.

    second. i think i agree with the quote. to an extent. i don’t think it should be for people who failed though, i think we shouldn’t have regrets. keep in mind, however, that i’m coming at this as a person of faith. have i made mistakes in my life? absolutely. looking back, would i do anything different? i don’t think so. i like to say i have no regrets because everything, both good and bad, has led me to where i am today. and where i am today might not be perfect, but i also believe it’s right where god wants me. there’s a line between free will and god’s will that we will never understand this side of heaven, but i don’t think there is much of anything i can do, aside from denying him completely, that he won’t use to bring me to where he wants to be. and thus. no regrets. maybe i’m over-complicating things. or over-simplifying them. i don’t know.

  2. I would have gone with queued, cause the post is waiting in line to go.

    it’s like Thomas Eddision said “I haven’t failed, I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work”

  3. Queued is correct, I think. Queued up means formed into an orderly line in preparation. Apparently British people do that. They form orderly queues and wait their turn for things like subway trains and buses and stuff. I think this is mostly because the entire population of London is armed with umbrellas at all times, and no one wants to start a mass umbrella fight. It wouldn’t be cricket. Just don’t ask what cricket is, because they’re the only ones that understand it.

  4. As for the actual quote, there’s two ways to take it, and I agree with one and disagree with the other.

    The first way is the unrepentant “I regret nothing; I’m never in the wrong” attitude. There are far too many brazen people in the world, headed for their own destruction on the wings of their feelings of infallible superiority.

    The second way is as an argument against *dwelling on* regrets, the crippling focus on past failures that can prevent us from ever moving forward. In that context, I would agree with it, since we should learn from error, repent of it if it’s wrongdoing, and move forward rather than let it cripple us. You’re only a failure if you set up house at the last spot you failed instead of moving forward.

    • “You’re only a failure if you set up house at the last spot you failed instead of moving forward.” I like it! Well defined. Do I have things I regret doing? Sure. I’m not sure a person can live life and not reflect on things that could have been handled better. Do we also need to forgive ourselves and move on? Absolutely!

  5. Heidi K says:

    I think they certainly can be. But they can also be something you learn from or that causes you to change your future behavior. I don’t do regrets, I think mostly because I think far too much about something before I take action. When I screw up, I know I had what I thought were valid reasons, and I change my thought process.

    Actually, maybe I should regret thinking too much. Nah.

    • jonnybgood says:

      thinking too much lol the world of finite thinkers would only say such a thing.
      not that we wish to lift ourselves above the emotionally and ignorant majority, we just see a better world for we are the realistic ones that wish for a better world and except nothing less than diligence and they bare only excuses. yet at age only truth shall remain and if regret begets failure then only bitterness shall be the food they eat and serve to all they meet.
      ” the failure to choose is the choice to fail ” – Dr. Jack Frasure Hyles (September 25, 1926 – February 6, 2001)

  6. Corrie says:

    I think someone who talks about regrets in terms of success or failure hasn’t done something really awful. I think it’s healthier to own your regret and accept God’s grace.

  7. bethagrace says:

    Regrets aren’t excuses. Regrets are acknowledging that you did something wrong. Having a regret means you’ll learn from it and won’t do it next time (hopefully).

    To me, someone with no regrets is worrisome. If I don’t regret hurting people, I show a supreme lack of conscience. If I don’t regret giving up on things in the past that I could have succeeded at, I’ll probably continue to not stick at hard things–and won’t be successful.

  8. jonnybgood says:

    its the thinkers and doers of this world that define sucess and those who procede to run from and gravitate away from that mentality are exactly on the opposite spectrume. the world is far more clear than we wish to understand it and if we will look beyond ourselves far enought and see a world in brokenness and emptieness then we are well on our way to healing it.
    for it is my beleife that the world needs more compation than solid hammers that beat the good out of the world; but more potters and willing clay.
    -with all my heart, mind, and soul’s energy i pour the best of me into thee in as willing a vessel as thou canst be. and thus i love thee and all.

  9. Haley k says:

    Unless I’ve been terribly misinformed, we all have fail, and probably more than once.
    If and how we decide to own it is where we run into the problem of regret.
    Maybe you own it, see that it is for a reason or whatever, accept grace, and move on. Good for you.
    But the “if I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing” bit isn’t convincing. That, if you ask me, isn’t owning your failure.
    If I could go back, HELL YEAH I would change a lot. Not only would my life be much easier, but many people wouldn’t suffer hurts from the things I’ve said and done.
    I make no excuses.
    I was wrong.
    I failed.
    If you’re human and have failed, yet regret nothing, it seems to me lack of regret is the excuse.

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