whoo boy! jealousy can wreak some major carnage in a relationship. it can be the human host for alien offspring; incubating, just waiting to erupt and blow chunks and green slime everywhere. or it can be the alien.
what the frack, sharideth?
okay, i’ll drop the sci-fi analogy. probably. maybe. we’ll see.
in other non-iwatchtoomuchscifichannel words, jealousy can be created in a person or it can just be part of who they are. either way, it’s totally no bueno.
jealousy is a meter. it measures trust and security. a relationship with a full tank of both, has no room for jealousy.
but jealousy appears for different reasons. feel a list coming on? because i sure do.
- control –jealousy can be used as a tool to control who you talk to, where you go and what you do. she won’t want you to do anything that might take you away from her, so she freaks right out. either you figure out how to break her of it, or you walk away. the only other option is to hand over your testicles and plan on doing exactly what she tells you for the rest of your life.
- fear –her insecurity might be at defcon 5. this is not unmanageable, but you’re going to have to work pretty hard to establish that you are trustworthy and that she is worthy period. be where you say you’re going to be and with who you say you are going to be with, so she has nothing to fear. she’s not trying to control you in this case, she’s just honestly afraid she can’t hold your interest because of her own lack of self-confidence.
- manipulation – this comes from the girl who constantly tries to make you jealous. she gets an ego stroke from upsetting you because it somehow proves to her that you’re still interested enough to be bothered by other men. the hag. if your girl is doing this, either have a serious ultimatum conversation, or just get out. there is no good that can come from this.
- indication – this…this is the only one that could prove useful and is also, by far, the most painful. it’s the jealousy that begins because someone is actually being unfaithful and something in you is reacting to what you won’t admit to yourself yet. ugh. horrible. but if this is happening to you, look deeper. ask the questions you’ve been avoiding. this is not a jealousy you want to ignore.
okay, i feel like there’s two other blogs that have to be written after this one…the signs of jealousy and the signs you’re being cheated on, but those are for another day.
i did write Poison Ivy already if you want to have a look at what a really jealous girl looks like.
but for now, just take a look at yourself and/or your significant other and see if jealousy is playing a role in your relationship. if it is, shut it down. it never ends well. and by “shut it down”, i mean the jealousy itself, not the relationship. however, that might have to happen if you can’t get the jealousy under control.
if you are the one inflicting your jealous ways on the relationship, knock it off before you lose what could be a really good thing or before you wear her down to becoming a person she no longer respects.
ladies, excessive jealously from a man is not flattering. it can feel that way, but make no mistake, that kind of jealousy from a man is solely about himself and his status. it does not come from any noble intention to protect you or display of affection. it often is also the first sign that you are dating an abuser. keep that in mind.
what are some other types of jealousy?
have you ever been in a jealous relationship?