“A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.”
Rainer Maria Rilke
when i read this quote i thought it should probably be tattooed on the forehead of humanity. i actually only have a couple of things to say about it, then i’m going put y’all in a zip lock bag with this and let you marinate.
this quote represents two sides of the same coin.
1. if the person you’re with says something hurtful, but historically it is not in his or her nature to do so, extend some grace and do not hang too much time and emotion on it. people are innately fallible and will make the occasional mistake. base your reaction, not on the moment, but on the whole of what you know to be true about them.
2. the flip side of this is that if the person you’re with is telling you how magical the future is going to be, but has brought you more pain and heartache than joy in the past, you can not pin all your hope on the most current thing that person says/promises/begs. you can not continue to wait and believe when the truth is, you are being taken advantage of/disrespected/abused.
look at the whole picture and respond based on the historical truth of who that person has proven to be. for someone who has always been kind and loving, extend forgiveness before it’s even asked for. for someone who continually expects you to look the other way when it comes to hurtful behavior, you are under no obligation to believe it will be any different in the future just because they say so.
that is all.