deal breakers according to Twitter

i’d like to say i was doing research and taking my job here seriously by looking up “deal breaker” on Twitter, but i only lie when it’s medically necessary.  no, this post is the result of what happens when i should be doing laundry.

here we go!

things that qualify as a relationship deal breaker on Twitter:

if my man goes 2 his friends wedding instead of coming 2 1 I’m in on the same day, deal breaker? – i’m glad you asked!  no, that’s not a deal breaker, that’s reasonable.  the fact that you are self-centered enough to have to ask this question could be the real deal breaker.

Guys in flip flops – deal breaker– is he wearing them with a suit?  no?  not a deal breaker.  unless he has really heinous feet.  then maybe.

Pulling out a hankie is a deal breaker – not if it’s fresh.  fresh is kinda nice.  crusty is grounds for termination.

Dealbreaker: He didn’t go to college.– tell that to Paul Allen and Bill Gates.  neither of them graduated college.  Herman Melville, that guy who wrote Moby Dick, you know, that book you never understood, high school drop out.

White sunglasses are a deal breaker.  – i was going post a pic to prove you oh so wrong about white sunglasses, but they’re all horrible.  you win.  well played.

 Is it a dealbreaker that I’m taller than him in heels? For me? Naw. For him? Unsure… Flats it is. #mormongirlproblems – not sure why this is just a Mormon Girl Problem, but…okay.  it shouldn’t be a deal breaker for either of you, but you also shouldn’t doom yourself to a life flats just to ease his insecurity.  that’s just cruel and unusual.  #somanygreatheels

He’s hot, but his tweets are lame…deal breaker. – have you read your own?

I think kissing is really underrated. Bad kissing has been a deal breaker for me in the past. – this sounds totally shallow, and it is, but i dumped a guy once because he kissed like a dead fish.  and i’d do it again.

I would never be friends with someone who doesn’t carry a cellphone. Total deal breaker. – really?  i’m guessing you blow up phones with calls and texts on the daily.  i’m going to consider this declaration a public service announcement.

I can never be with a girl who isn’t into sports. That’s a deal breaker – liar.  if she’s pretty enough, you will cease to care.

let’s turn today’s question into a fill in the blank…

“I wouldn’t date someone if…”

hit it.


16 comments on “deal breakers according to Twitter

  1. asoulwalker says:

    I read Moby Dick when I was six years old. I had to read it with a dictionary by my side. I had to look up an average of ten words per page for the entire novel. It profoundly effected me. It still does today. That is such a great book.

    Also, that last one about sports is hilarious and usually true.

  2. Jennwith2ns says:

    I pretty much, in my very limited dating experience, have dated all the “I would nevers” on my list (including drugs–though I never did them myself). I guess I wanted to find out via experience what was and wasn’t a deal-breaker?

    I married the guy 6-8 inches shorter than I am. In flats (me). Who doesn’t have a college degree (him). (He’s way smarter than I am, though.) Not deal breakers.

  3. Arto says:

    Haha, these are great. As for the hanky, what if he pulls out a “hankybook”? (www, ? 😀

  4. Michael Mock says:

    “I wouldn’t date someone if…” they were a vampire. Especially if they sparkled in sunlight.

    I know, I know, bigotry is never pretty, but… well… I just couldn’t spend all my time wondering whether that longing look meant that they really liked me, or that that they they were feeling a bit… peckish.

  5. Nicki says:

    “I wouldn’t date someone if…” … he smoked.

    Health reasons aside, in my opinion it’s a filthy habit.

    • Michael Mock says:

      Smoking would be a deal-breaker for me. It sets my allergies off something fierce, so I’d basically be trying to date someone who gave me a headache whenever we hung around together.

  6. Jenn says:

    Agree with the bad kissing (bad hugging too is not okay), smoking as noted above, abusive – ditched the ex fiance because of that one.

    All the usuals aside – I would say if he can’t handle or support that I’m a “one of those pro-women in Church leadership” kind of feminists then yes that’s a deal breaker. And not so shockingly that is actually a deal breaker for a lot of Christian men *shug* I guess it save me the time weeding them out.

  7. Well since I’m married, I wouldn’t date any woman who isn’t my wife, because that would be a deal breaker. However… I have often wished that I could marry more than one woman, and I think that having three wives would be a happy arrangement for me. But not only is this illegal, it is also an arrangement that if I were to seriously pursue, it would be a deal breaker for my wife, so I don’t think it’s going to happen.

  8. “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t chew*. Don’t go with girls that do.” I have no idea how ancient that jingle is, but it’s been stuck in my memory for decades. I plan to have no alcohol** or tobacco in my house, so if a girl has a need for one of those that she’s not willing and able to give up, there’s not much reason for me to date her.

    I should say I don’t consider them to be a SIN, aside from drunkenness. I have friends who may have a beer or a glass of wine with dinner, and I don’t show up to pour their bottles down the drain and tell them they’re going to hell. :> I just consider them a habit I don’t want in my home, as they carry health and dependency risks and in the case of alcohol also a decrease in inhibitions that carries an unneccessary risk of actions you’ll regret later, possibly even sinful ones.

    * – if by some chance you’re from a place that hasn’t heard of the stuff, “chew” refers to chewing tobacco, not consumption of food or chewing gum. :>

    ** the drinking kind. Rubbing alcohol is great for cleaning print heads and dissolving certain kinds of paint.

  9. The deal breaker of a man not being tall enough when your in heels. I use to have this one before my husband who is 1 inch taller than me. Guess what I learned “It does not matter as long as I am not taller with my tennis shoes on”. Thank GOD I threw this one out as I married my best friend and a wonderful husband.

  10. Hanna says:

    hi. both me and my fiance are reading your blog.. we love it. but i was thinking about something i wish you would write about. ive seen you mention womens insecurity a few times. why do women do this and that. insecurity. and I dont disagree. i am trying to be a good fiance and i am very independent person but yes, sometimes i get insecure and i ask questions.. do you love me? am i prettier then your ex? you know those things. should i feel bad? maybe, but im only human. so its common that girls are insecure.. we all know that, and what i was thinking is. when guys are asking “why do women ask or do this and that” and the answer is insecurity, it would be more interesting to hear what guys can do to deal with this.. to make their woman more secure.. as i am sure you agree, it dosent make you a bad person to be insecure, and even the most confident women get insecure sometimes, but when the answer is just “women are insecure, thats why they ask stupid questions” it feels like the blame is all on us. i dont know if i make any sense.. my question is… what can guys do to deal with our insecurity better? or how can they make us less insecure? or atleast understand why we are. or maybe even more interesting.. how can I as a woman in a relationship work on my insecurity. it has nothing to do with trust. and not attention either.. i get enough compliments and “you are beautiful” so no complains.. but the insecurity still pops up now and then.. any idea? would be interesting for a blog post.

  11. bethagrace says:

    I completely understand Mormon girl. I’m fine dating a guy who’s going to be a little shorter when I put on my heels, but if he’s going to be all insecure, it won’t work. When you look at pictures of Michael J. Fox with his wife (which I’ve only done once, promise), she’s way taller than him, but he just looks like he’s thinking, “Look at this hot, tall bombshell I’m with. This is awesome!”

    If a short guy can think like that, I’ll give him a chance.

  12. “Is it a dealbreaker that I’m taller than him in heels?”

    I’m just impressed that she’s okay with him being in heels! (Oh, wait, did I read that wrongly?)

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