i’d like to say i was doing research and taking my job here seriously by looking up “deal breaker” on Twitter, but i only lie when it’s medically necessary. no, this post is the result of what happens when i should be doing laundry.
here we go!
things that qualify as a relationship deal breaker on Twitter:
if my man goes 2 his friends wedding instead of coming 2 1 I’m in on the same day, deal breaker? – i’m glad you asked! no, that’s not a deal breaker, that’s reasonable. the fact that you are self-centered enough to have to ask this question could be the real deal breaker.
Guys in flip flops – deal breaker– is he wearing them with a suit? no? not a deal breaker. unless he has really heinous feet. then maybe.
Pulling out a hankie is a deal breaker – not if it’s fresh. fresh is kinda nice. crusty is grounds for termination.
Dealbreaker: He didn’t go to college.– tell that to Paul Allen and Bill Gates. neither of them graduated college. Herman Melville, that guy who wrote Moby Dick, you know, that book you never understood, high school drop out.
White sunglasses are a deal breaker. – i was going post a pic to prove you oh so wrong about white sunglasses, but they’re all horrible. you win. well played.
Is it a dealbreaker that I’m taller than him in heels? For me? Naw. For him? Unsure… Flats it is.
#mormongirlproblems – not sure why this is just a Mormon Girl Problem, but…okay. it shouldn’t be a deal breaker for either of you, but you also shouldn’t doom yourself to a life flats just to ease his insecurity. that’s just cruel and unusual. #somanygreatheels
He’s hot, but his tweets are lame…deal breaker. – have you read your own?
I think kissing is really underrated. Bad kissing has been a deal breaker for me in the past. – this sounds totally shallow, and it is, but i dumped a guy once because he kissed like a dead fish. and i’d do it again.
I would never be friends with someone who doesn’t carry a cellphone. Total deal breaker. – really? i’m guessing you blow up phones with calls and texts on the daily. i’m going to consider this declaration a public service announcement.
I can never be with a girl who isn’t into sports. That’s a deal breaker – liar. if she’s pretty enough, you will cease to care.
let’s turn today’s question into a fill in the blank…
“I wouldn’t date someone if…”