so yesterday one of my dumb twitter twaddle lines struck a nerve. apparently an exposed nerve that was stabbed and set on fire.
#WhyDoFemales Always fall for the bad guys and friend zone the good guys?
turns out, it’s really pretty simple.
first, let’s deal with why the jackholes never end up friend zoned and seem to get the girl.
are you ready for this? it’s a mind blower…
they never want to be friends.
yeah, let that sink in a second.
those guys go straight for the kill and move on if the shot doesn’t land. can’t be friend zoned if you don’t want to be friends. and why do girls fall for them? easy. the aggressive approach is flattering and kinda hot. not gonna lie. girls will fall for it over and over again because it’s exciting, a serious boost to the ego and addicting as crack. i know it was for me.
but a girl with sense and value will eventually get over it and desire something else. something more real. do. not. mistake. this. for. settling. did i use enough periods to make my point? it is not settling, it’s maturing. it is finally realizing that the real prize is in the kindness. it’s in the friend.
so here’s where it gets 50 shades of grey, but not 50 Shades of Grey, iykwim…well, maybe it kinda does eventually. hopefully.
there are reason why you guys end up in the friend zone. some might surprise you.
- self-inflicted – if i were going to pick just one reason to rule them all, it would be this one. she might put you there initially, but it is ENTIRELY up to you how long you stay there. from a nanosecond to years…your choice.
- she doesn’t know any better – oh man, this was me. i had exactly 2 boyfriends in high school and it was because they both showed immediate interest in me as datable. there was no question about their intent. every other guy i knew was friend zoned because i didn’t think there was any other option. i assumed if they didn’t come right out and jump me (so to speak), then friends we would be. turns out, i frustrated a lot of guys. they all thought my friend zone was Fort Knox, when it was really made of cellophane.
- appreciates you, but not attracted to you – ouch. yeah, i know. but it happens. she knows you’re a great guy and values your company and friendship, but biology just isn’t cooperating. nothing to be done about that. this happened with one of my best friends. the only one to ever try and tear through my cellophane, except Craig, of course. he made it clear from the 7th grade all the way through graduation that all i had to do was say “yes”. i never did. i adored him. still do. the chemistry was just never there for me. and he’s not unattractive. quite the opposite. he’s a very handsome ginger. if you ask me why it never happened, i won’t have an answer, because i really don’t know. what i do know is that even though i rarely ever see him anymore, he is still my friend.
- she’s a Lucy – she’s using you. happens more than you might think. you’re her security blanket. keeping you and your admiration around makes her feel better about herself. oh yes. it’s the height of selfishness. being the nice guy you are, you will stick around way longer than you should because “she needs you.” bullshizzle. what she needs is to grow up and stop sucking
other peopleyou dry to suit her own end. that end being where she runs back to you to refill her tank when the guy she really wants has bolted.
not sure whether i’ve made things better or worse for you today. guess you’ll have to tell me.
any other reason girls will put guys in the friend zone?