My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, and we were friends for 3 years before that. We get along great, talk about everything, and feel the same way about all the important things. Things are really (really really) great! My family loves him, my friends love him, and everything is working out. We’ve been talking about marriage for a couple months, and he’s saving up for a ring now. I’m very sure about this guy, and he feels the same way.
But here’s the thing…we’ve never had a fight. We’re both super laid back, so maybe it’s just an outcome of our personalities. But it still seems strange to both of us, and it makes me wonder how we’ll handle conflict when it does finally show up in our relationship. Should I be nervous? Should I stop over thinking and just enjoy it?
not a fighter
i love it. my first problem that really isn’t a problem. if this is as bad as it gets for you, you’re home free.
the short answer? this is perfectly fine.
but you will fight.
you will fight.
the most important to thing to remember? it’s not fatal. and it certainly doesn’t mean your relationship is taking a turn for the worse. it only means you’re both human and life has kind of settled in around you.
when it does happen, don’t hold grudges, don’t assume the other person who is normally all about peace and harmony is out to get you. be ready to let it go.
and don’t panic or assume it’s necessarily about the thing you’re fighting about. it could be any number of external things that cause one or the other to lash out. just be ready to give the other one the benefit of the doubt and don’t return anger for anger. dial it back and have a conversation.
the best way to avoid fighting? never let anything get to the point of resentment. don’t let something bother you for so long, you begin to internalize it and allow it to color how you see your snuggle puss. keep everything out in the open. even if it’s painful.
especially if it’s painful.
but for now? enjoy the not fighting. it’s not a sign of the apocalypse. it doesn’t mean you both don’t have your own opinions or are weak. it’s just…nice.
oh so sincerely,
for more on this, take a gander at “it takes two to fight”.
are you a fighter? how do you keep the peace?