twitter twaddle: #SignsShesNotThe1

time again for another installment of twitter twaddle.  where the wisdom of the ages is put forth in hashtag form to educate and inform us all.

enjoy or suck on a blue jay.

#SignsShesNotThe1 she spends too much time on twitter getting excited over pointless hashtags – i think my husband wrote this one…

#SignsShesNotThe1 She can’t make a decent sandwich – ohhhh, burnnnnn. someone call the ASPCA. this guy is committing dead equine abuse.

#SignsShesNotThe1 she uses margarine instead of butter on french toast – that really is a deal breaker, sorry ladies.

#SignsShesNotThe1 Her last name is something chinese, and she aint got a drop of Asian in her. Not even some chinky eyes. – uh, okaaay. couple of things…you have ovaries and are bitter. you are also racist and everybody probably hates you.

#SignsShesNotThe1 Your girlfriend takes a dump inside a jar, then gives it to your for your birthday… then shanks you with a nail file. – that’s pretty cut and dried. i suggest you get some counseling on how to pick better.

#SignsShesNotThe1: she can palm a basketball – you know what they say about big hands…oh. right.

#SignsShesNotThe1 Momma doesn’t like her, her nails are never polished, she orders food instead of cooking it herself, she’s afraid of dirt. – @KissMySthrnSass

#SignsShesNotThe1 if Her legs open faster than a web page. – all fairness, some pages take FOREVER to open.

#SignsShesNotThe1 she only refers to her baby daddies by their twitter name – not gonna lie, this one made me totally lawlz.

#SignsShesNotThe1 if she cheated on her ex with you – truth.

what are some other signs shes not the one?


4 comments on “twitter twaddle: #SignsShesNotThe1

  1. So, if you don’t do any of these, does this make you the1 for everyone else? 😉

  2. I definitely laughed at the last one. I always wondered how my ex-wife’s boyfriend trusted her considering she cheated on me with him. And, of course, they are not dating anymore. Ha!

  3. asoulwalker says:

    She loves her mother… and you don’t.

  4. jrob says:

    If she has a friend send an anonymous, and very suggestive card with a perfumed g-string in it a week before your wedding day as a trap, and you find out, she’s not the one. If she does this don’t wait years, just call the deal immediately. ASAP-like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s