the 3 second rule

i am so very sorry.

but it has to be done.

blame Knox McCoy if you must.  he exposed me to it and now we are all infected, because, well, i get around.

if you were able to stand it, what do you think of her rule?

is it just me, or do the dudes in the video all look like they’re thinking “i’d better be getting paid REALLY well”?


40 comments on “the 3 second rule

  1. evanforester says:

    There should be a 3 second rule about how long you can force someone to listen to her voice

  2. Wait, is that a southern version of Phoebe Buffay? I have my own rule. It involves not turning my head. On another ironic note: I don’t think I can look at her longer than 3 seconds.

  3. Shay says:

    ohmystars! that was dreadful…*shivers*

  4. JennyBean says:

    OH. MY. HAT. That was…I feel traumatised.

    YouTube says it all: 855 likes, 4,539 dislikes.

  5. Jennwith2ns says:

    I feel simultaneously speechless, and yet needing to say a whole lot. (It’s confusing for me, too.)

    Apart from how inherently dreadful everything about that was, I’m trying to understand the double-standard. Her man can only look at another woman for 3 seconds, but she can “dance” with (or sing at–whatever), like, eight guys?

  6. laurie says:

    My ears are bleeding. I want to share that video but then I really, really don’t.

  7. i hate you for this.

  8. I lasted through the whole thing when Burrill inflict…er…shared it with me, to prove that I could. Her voice isn’t that bad when she goes to the higher parts. It’s not great, but it’s okay.

    I kept finding myself expecting there to be a woman for them to demonstrate the three second rule on, though. Not that she’s not a woman, but as the rulemaker/teacher she doesn’t count as a proper demonstration model. How do we know they learned anything if they don’t have at least one test?

    I also think they should incorporate more square dancing into math class.

  9. holly says:

    i made it about half-way through. and i just really need to know if this is for real or not.

  10. Sophia says:

    That was really sad. I think that really degrades men, as well as creating a double standard. Women look, too. Why can’t she trust her man?

  11. Michael Vuke says:

    I made it to 49 seconds. Dear Lord.

    And I think the rule is absurd, for several reasons:
    1. If you are talking about looking at a woman in the broad sense, what about in conversation? Can I not look at who I am talking to? (Although, she probably has a sequel to this smash hit lined up: “The You-can-only-say-hi-and-wave-from-across-the-room Rule”)
    2. If we are talking about looking at a woman in a lustful sense, why are three seconds acceptable?
    3. If we are talking about appreciating/acknowledging beauty in a non-lustful way, then what is your problem? I’ll be the first one to say that a guy shouldn’t go on and on about how a lady is so gorgeous to his love interest (out of respect if nothing else), but there isn’t anything wrong with expressing an appreciation for beauty in whatever form you find it, whether it be a painting, a flower, or another human.
    4. You can only expect someone to follow a rule if they know the rule, and I think that this song will only prevent people from learning the rule by making them run away screaming before she gets to stating the rule. Seriously. It is painful.

  12. Chad Jones says:

    I looked longer than three seconds… But I didn’t like it.

  13. Corrie Phillips says:

    It’s weird how the Rebecca Black video seems like it would be awesome now.

  14. JBen says:

    This makes me miss Friday and Money Can’t Buy You Class. What ever happened to quality bad music?

  15. The interesting thing about this video was how my visual and auditory systems shut down in an effort to sustain the least amount of damage possible.

  16. I saw this last week. I lasted through just over a minute, at which point I’m pretty sure I died.

    Here, go ahead and wash out your ears with this:

  17. This hideous song threated to plague my brain all day (it’s like there’s a brainwashing mechanism attached to every annoying song in the world). I had to will it away like an insidious temptation. This lady is bonkers!

  18. Horrible song. Horrible singing (but, there’s potential there with proper coaching, I think). Horrible rule.

    First thing: anyone who thinks they can, should or need to keep me in line, doesn’t have any right to do so because I’m dumping them. Not because I like to stray (I’m a committed person in general), but because I resent being viewed as a possession or a trained animal. The person who does that doesn’t love me, and I cannot love them back. If she can’t trust me enough to know that I let my “yes” mean “yes” and “no” mean “no” and “I love you” mean “I love YOU”, then there’s no hope.

  19. As far as the meat of the song goes, the principle behind the rule is a good one, though I agree with Michael above that putting an acceptability timer on it isn’t correct. Though I caution that “just appreciating beauty” can be either a truth or an self-deceptive lie.

    Temptation isn’t a sin; giving in is where the sin comes. Among other things, we know this because Jesus was tempted yet did not sin. But giving in to temptation can be a mental act as well as a physical one. When the imagination/fantasizing begins to interact with what you see rather than simply see it, you’ve looked too long, and that has nothing to do with a stopwatch and everything to do with where your brain is.

    Job 31:1 (NIV) says “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” And Matthew 5:28 (NIV) says “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” And 2 Timothy 2:22a (NLT) says “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts.” So if lust is engaged, it doesn’t matter if you’ve looked only 1 second, you need to redirect your mind elsewhere. Three seconds is long enough for a LOT of wrong thoughts at the speed the human brain operates.

    If anything, the “3 second rule” shouldn’t be a line of permission, where fantasy is okay as long as you don’t spend more than three seconds on it, but a line of warning that says “Hey, you need to stop and see what your motive is for still watching that girl. Don’t you have other things to be focusing on?”

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