I have a dating or more specifically a flirting quandary. For the last year I’ve attended a small graduate school, so small that dating doesn’t happen. Not for lack of choices, but no one really wants to date under a microscope.
However, I have found myself in a sticky situation. It all started the Thursday before Easter, one of my classmate’s had his housebroken into and his computer stolen and in an attempt to help him and his room-mates out I offered them a place to stay and a place to have a meal. At the end of said conversation, I hugged one of my girl friends good bye, turned to give him a pat on the shoulder or some other distanced socially appropriate gesture and he had his arms open for a hug. I really didn’t think anything of it given his situation, but I think it broke the ice. Followed by some other incidents, like being offered the end of his coffee (we both drink our coffee black), sitting arm against arm in a 3 hour lecture, prolonged eye contact, lots of smiling, hours in the library together etc. And then last Friday we spent an hour or so alone (everyone else ditched us for a grocery run) cooking a meal together for a community meal, to sum it up very briefly.
In my decade or so of dating, I feel like there are definite signs, ones he’s sending, and ones I feel like I am reciprocating. The question in all this – is flirting a universal language? Said man is not North American, Belgian actually and I am Canadian. I worry that I am possibly being too forward or not enough, and he’s just being polite.
Is there any way short of being blunt about my new found feelings that I can figure this situation out?
Are We Flirting
this sure sounds like flirting to me. i think the signs are pretty universal. as a rule, guys rarely invest that kind of time in a girl they’re not interested in. but if you’re really not sure, ask him. it doesn’t have to be weird. you do not need to make some overt declaration. maybe something along the lines of, “so are we just friends, or shall i keep flirting with you? i’m good with either one.” this puts the flirting on you, without getting into heavy emotional stuff and gives him an out if he doesn’t see it as more than friendship. it’s also surprising and a little funny. disarming even.
then be cool with whatever his answer is. and by cool, i mean business as usual. crack a joke, ask him about his classes… normal.
if he is into you, the circumstances at your school might not be ideal, but sometimes…that’s just how it goes. i wouldn’t worry about making that a factor at this point.
i’ll be curious to see what happens. keep me posted.
oh so sincerely,
gentlemen…what say you? is this guy flirting with her?
ladies…how do you interpret it?
any other advice for our friend?