twitter twaddle: #BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl

Twitter was trending #BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl and it got far more creative than “I quit you!”  enjoy or suck stale Cadbury eggs.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl Push her out of a moving car. – excessive, yet effective.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl Be Sincere, tell her you Love her, & just generally be a ‘Good Guy’! That works faster than anything else smh – you sir are unfortunately correct.  therefore i, too, unite with you in smh.  i’ll even raise you a smdh.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl chop her up and feed her to your dog – i would reserve this one for cheaters and girls who use text speak when they talk.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl send her a horse – so she can gallop away with wild abandon and glee?

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl – Say that your parents have arranged a marriage for you in the motherland – this one is dangerous.  a girl who is desperate enough, will take you up on it.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl Shout whenever you talk to her – OH MY GAWD!!!  THIS WOULD TOTALLY WORK!!!

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl reply to her texts with “k” – that will piss her right off.  but it might also just cause her to badger you into leaving first.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl When she says, “I love you”, reply, “I know.” – ohhhh, that’s good.  short, yet devastating.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl pick her up on a bike with pegs – i don’t know.  works for my 12 year old.  the girls love it.

#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl keep trending topics like this and you won’t have any girls – boom.  twitter wisdom.  twisdom?  i like that.  twisdom.  man, i am so good at this!

okay lads and lassies (girls not collies), get your awful dumping technique hats on and drop some terrible ways to get rid of a girl.  or a real way.  whatever.


11 comments on “twitter twaddle: #BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl

  1. daterofboys says:

    Twisdom…always good for a laugh.
    Another good technique: practice poor hygiene.

  2. Tip: The “I love you” “I know” response won’t work if the girl is a Star Wars geek. In fact, it pretty much means you’ll never get rid of her.

  3. I’m with snickeringcorpses here. Being a Star Wars geek I resent the notion of replying “I know” being devastating. So long as the girl is also a geek and you can pull it off with a straight, Han-Solo-going-to-his-death face, this will be wildly funny and she’ll smile. Supposing she’s not a geek, this would probably not go over as well. Knowing a girl who hasn’t seen Star Wars (yes, such a person exists and she’s awesome), I keep my geek side in check around her

  4. bethagrace says:

    “I know” worked just fine for Han Solo. And, according to #2, it would work for any guy.

  5. becca3416 says:

    Disappearing off of the face of the earth works. It is so lame but it is an easy way out !

  6. Chris says:

    I think the “arranged marriage” line implies there is another woman in store “back home.”

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