search engine madness

click to blow that thing up.

there are some weird searches that lead people to my blog.  one of the top searches of all time is “women tying up man”.  multiple women.  one man.  O_o

yeah, that was an emoticon.  sue me.

my friend and your fellow commenter/reader Matt Gates once answered a search inquiry that lead to his blog.  someone wanted to know how to tape a tomato back together.

people are weird.  the places searches engines send them is even weirder.

i’ve decided to pull out a few/several/too many searches that have led to my blog and respond to them.  some of them are less than…tactful.  you’ve been warned.

searches:

1.  v neck grunde men – okay, so i actually plugged this into Google and got nothing.  any interpretations are welcome.

2.  angry tweet – that one actually makes sense…

3.  what now bitch? – my whole blog answers this question.

4.  am i ready to say i love you? – you’re asking a search engine?  then no.

5.  awkward questions to ask a guy – you want to ask awkward questions?  all the answers are here, here, here and here.

6.  female guide to fellatio – sorry for your profound disappointment with my blog.

7.  screw safe – amen.

8.  questions to ask a man in front of you – as opposed to a man behind you?

9.  not now bitch – seriously.  not now.  dora is explorin’.

10.  what happens when you put a bunch of women in a room? – pinterest happens.

if you have a blog, what’s the weirdest search that led to your site?

seriously, any thought on “v neck grunde men”?

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9 comments on “search engine madness

  1. beckycastlemiller says:

    Probably a typo of “v-neck grunge men,” as in, pictures of grungy men wearing deep-v-neck shirts. Must be a thing?

    Also, “Pinterest happens” —> funniest thing I’ve read yet today. But then, I haven’t read SCL yet today. *grin*

  2. Jennwith2ns says:

    I’ve taken to posting one random search request per week on my facebook fan page. It probably only entertains me, but . . . well, it entertains me.

    Shortly after one of the most interesting ones, my blog got hacked and started directing people to porn sites, so I’m afraid to even post it, but one of my favourites was “hippie grandmas.” And my even favouriter was “hard last names to read in cursive.”

    I dunno. I write about random stuff, I guess!

  3. crpeterson says:

    Bahaahaha this post made me laugh out loud. Pinterest does happen, you are right. Sometimes I wonder if I can go a whole day without saying “oh I saw this thing on Pinterest…”

    I wrote a blog post a few months ago about the same topic. The stuff people search for is sooo weird, and even weirder that they get to my blog!

    My favorites?
    scab in umbilicus
    what is a good status that will get you a facebook wife
    is it an insult to say later alligator?
    do Amish people eat hummus?

    Here’s the whole post: http://theothercourtney.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/he-invited-me-to-his-hot-tub/

    Great post, thanks for the laugh!

  4. ‘Ugly people eating carrots’ on Google image search once lead to a picture on my blog of me eating a carrot. Granted, it wasn’t the most flattering picture, but still. Isn’t v neck bunde men a boyband from Bulgaria?

  5. stevesw says:

    “Terri Clark’s shoe size” and “Terri Clark’s sex life,” were interesting; I had several posts that referenced Terry Clark based on her song “Girls Lie To” and an upcoming concert I was going to. I actually parlayed the shoe size question into a post on how your choice of shoes can affect dating.

  6. On search term 7, I’m not sure it means what you think it does. “Screw safely”, I would definitely say “amen” to. But “screw ‘safe'” (as in, “if I want to be all risky and dangerous-like then I’m gonna and you can’t stop me”) I might have some doubts about…!

    Of course, it could also have been looking for a safe to keep screws in, and we all need one of those, right?

  7. asoulwalker says:

    Oh number nine… she’s cute now, but in forty years when she grows up to be Cosuela she will be hilarious.

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