I need help. One of my guy friends asked me out to ‘coffee.’ I’ve been made aware by others that this guy has a crush on me. I do not reciprocate. At all. However, he is a nice guy and a friend, and I have no real reason to turn him down for actual coffee, but I do not want to go and lead him on. But I also don’t want to tell him that I’m not interested when he hasn’t actually told me he is, because then I’ll appear to be the girl who thinks everyone is in love with them and delusional. Any advice? Am I just over thinking this? Should I just woman up and tell him I don’t feel that way? Any reader advice?
P.S. I did turn him down for this week, because I’m leaving the country, but he said we should get some ‘coffee’ when I get back. I want to be prepared if there is a next time, because leaving the country is a rather expensive excuse.
if you already accepted for when you get back, then you have to go. especially since he’s your friend. those are the rules. i don’t make them up.
who am i kidding? of course i make them up. that’s my job.
since he hasn’t straight up asked you out, friends getting coffee is just friends getting coffee, ya know? so feel to take that at face value for this one.
just be on your toes. if you are as sure as you appear to be that he’s into you, he’s working his way up to a real live date. which you will have to politely decline. but i wouldn’t hit him with a preemptive strike. you’re right, that would look douchey.
when the time comes, give him an honest reason why you won’t date him. no lame excuses. a friend of mine once got turned down by a girl who claimed she just had too much laundry to do.
yeah, that happened.
she thought she was being clever and no feelings would get hurt. he knew she was copping out and actually lost some respect for her. i thought she was kind of an asshat.
honest is best. rip that bandaid off. then just keep moving forward with the friendship as though the date thing never happened. he’ll be relieved when you’re not weird about it afterward. if he’s at all human, that’s probably his biggest fear.
oh so sincerely,
any other advice for our friend?
which side of this have you been on?