let’s be friends

i talk a lot about relationships here on my little blog thing.  obviously.  but today, i’m not gonna.

you are.

but not about romantic relationships.  you’re going to talk about friendships.

ahhhh, fwends…

my cousin has been in town for a few days and she’s probably the closest thing i have to a best friend.  she’s crazy.  she’s loud.  she has absolutely no problem causing a scene.  she’s as reliable as bedrock and an effing lioness when it comes to defending those she loves.  i can say anything, do anything, be anyone or wear a freaking cape if i want to when i’m with her and it’s all okay.

she’s my definition of a friend.

i want to know what your definition is.

but first a couple of rules.  yes, rules.  shut up.  they’re going to happen.

1.  it cannot be your spouse or significant other.  but sharideth, he really is my best friend!  NO!  it has to be someone you have no romantic involvement with.  so there.

2.  it cannot be your pet.  i love my cat.  i do.  but if he were bigger than i am, he would not hesitate to eat me and we both know it.

okay, that’s it for the rules.  now to the questions.

1.  who is your best friend?  no social security numbers please.  a first name, real or faked, will do.

2.  how long have you known each other?

3.  what are the qualities that sets your best friend apart from other friends?

4.  would you donate a kidney to this person?

5.  did you use a fake name for your friend so your other friends wouldn’t be offended that it’s not them?

having friends that you are not romantically involved with is important.  it’s healthy.  it makes you more well-rounded than eating a Big Mac every meal for a year.  you need a person/people around you who will happily call you on your feces and love you anyway.

are you stuck on your best friend romantically?  then read this and handle it.

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15 comments on “let’s be friends

  1. There is no such thing as male an female friends.

  2. G Fresh says:

    Damn, Sharideth. He caught me. It’s true; I only hang out with you because I’m hoping that Craig will die someday (or that our morals will abandon both of us at the same time) leaving me totally free to jump your bones. Or something. I’m not sure.

    I definitely don’t hang out with you because I want to be friends. Because boobs.

  3. Rachel says:

    1. my sister, Esther

    2. 34 years come April 13

    3. she knows all about me and loves me regardless and more so as a result. she will call me out on my crap and set me straight with love; she believes in me, prays for me & never gets sick of me. our interests and tastes are much the same (expensive) and have yet to run out of things to do/to want to do together.

    4. of course. we also have a contract (spit-sealed handshake) that if either of us is hospitalized for any length of time the other will see to it that eyebrows of the ill and infirm stay in pristine condition

    5. nope. they already know and have resolved to suck it up and move on or be silently bitter.

  4. 1. Kara.
    2. 18 years.
    3. She is as much about me as she is herself. She cares about the things I care about even if they’re ridiculous like handbags and snack foods.
    4. Yep. Especially if it meant weight loss. It would, right?
    5. Nope. I’m owning it.

  5. G Fresh says:

    1. who is your best friend? Mike

    2. how long have you known each other? 12-ish years

    3. what are the qualities that sets your best friend apart from other friends? There are things I can talk about to him that I wouldn’t even think of discussing with others. Also, he’s a snazzy dresser and lends freely of his expertise to me so that’s cool.

    4. would you donate a kidney to this person? Yes, unless he was trying to sell it on the black market or something. In that case, I would demand a 75/25 split.

    5. did you use a fake name for your friend so your other friends wouldn’t be offended that it’s not them? No, but I’m very careful to only befriend guys named Mike so really it could be anybody.

  6. My best friend is Sarah. We’ve been best friends since about third grade, so almost 15 years now. She’s 5′ tall, and 90 pounds of pure awesomeness. Besides being hilarious, she has the emotional capacity to understand every situation. I kid you not. I have yet to meet someone who she cannot identify with. She has a magical ability to make a fun thing more fun, and a bad thing not so bad. She never fails to say the perfect thing at the perfect time. We only get to talk every few months since we are so far away, but it’s as if no time has ever passed. She’s in NYC now pursuing her dream and I couldn’t be more proud of her for having the chutzpah to put it all out there.

    Her body would probably reject my kidney since it is not made of awesome, but she could have it. And some liver. Hell, some pancreas if that’s what she needed.

    No fake name needed. Anyone who has ever met us knows we are platonic soul mates.

  7. 1. who is your best friend? Tiffany
    2. how long have you known each other? 25 years (Since the 5th grade) but besties for the past 2 years.
    3. what are the qualities that sets your best friend apart from other friends? There is absolutely nothing I would be afraid she would judge me for telling her. She knows enough of the good about me to overlook the bad – and she is the most resourceful person I have ever met.
    4. would you donate a kidney to this person? Absolutely and I know she would do it for me. We are THAT loyal to each other.
    5. did you use a fake name for your friend so your other friends wouldn’t be offended that it’s not them? No, because I can’t imagine who would be seeing this. I do have another friend that would probably be upset to know she was not picked first.

  8. 1. Can I name two people? Good, thanks. It’s Marije and Nienke, two girls who can be like sisters to me.

    2. About seven years

    3. They know me, give me honest feedback, are supportive (as no other) and not only know me for who I am, but also want me to be that one.

    4. I see where naming two can be a problem. First one would just be lucky.

    5. Nah, no one knows me here…

  9. 1. “Grim” – at least 2 decades of using that nickname for him, and it has nothing to do with his personality.

    2. Nearly 3 decades – and I’m only 33. Although the first 5 years of knowing him, he was a school bully and I was one of his targets – somehow all that changed and we both became better people for it.

    3. To be honest, you only get to be my friend if you’ve got the qualities he has – the only thing that sets him apart is the longevity of the friendship. Honesty, steadfastness, understanding, empathy, courage – things like that. Friendship is not a small thing for me, if I befriend you, it’s because I’m willing to give you get all those things right back.

    4. Assuming my kidneys are in good shape and we’re a good match, then definitely.

    5. No. I’m careful who I pick for friends, and if they were the sort of person who would, then they probably wouldn’t be my friend.

  10. Bethany says:

    1. Amy

    2. 5 1/2 years.

    3. We just… clicked. We have the same tastes (even in the dorky things), like doing the same things, can talk about anything, and laugh at the same stupid stuff (…or she laughs at *me* doing stupid stuff. Whatever).

    4. Absolutely. And then we could share a hospital room and have all our other friends come and see us!

    5. Nope. They would be able to guess even if I *did* change the name… and they don’t read this blog.

  11. Regan says:

    My best friend is my sister, Summer. We have known each other for approximately 28 years. I can’t exactly remember when we first met. She’s my best friend because I know I can discuss anything with her and she will listen and give me positive feedback. She’s totally understanding of the way I overanalyze romantic relationships, even though she’s not like that herself. 🙂 I know she really cares about me and not just about what I do.

    And, yes, I would donate a kidney to her.

    I didn’t give her a fake name, but I do hope none of my other sisters read this. :S I’ve been trying for years to pretend that Summer is not my favorite.

  12. Abby says:

    My best friend is my sister, Sara. We’ve known each other since she was born the day before my second birthday (my best, favorite birthday present ever!); 28 years in April. She’s seen the best and worst of me but still loves me and likes to have me around. She’s a 5’3″, princess-like* spitfire of a pediatric nurse. (The kind of nurse I’d want for my kids, y’know, if I had any.)

    I absolutely would donate a kidney and we’d probably be a match ’cause of the whole sister thing.

    I didn’t use a fake name because all my friends already know.

    *read: cute, opinionated, and regal but not high-maintenance or stuck-up.

  13. ghfool says:

    I was going to answer as follows…

    1) Myself

    …but was disqualified at the start by the constraints of your first question.

    “It has to be someone you have no romantic involvement with.”

  14. Lauree Fletcher says:

    I’m so glad to have run across your blog this day. I have just spent the afternoon with my best friend, a thing we don’t have the opportunity to do as often as we used to.

    1. Lila

    2. We can’t quite seem to come to a concrete answer for this one. We think it’s technically been about 7 or 8 years, but we’re certain it’s really been a lifetime. In fact, we sure we’re sisters by different parents.

    3. For some crazy reason, she just loves me. She knows my darkest moments, my brightest joys, and my wildest dreams. We are able to balance each other out when needed and join in the extremes that make life worth living when neither of us needs balancing. We have cried together, mourned together, laughed till our bellies ached together, prayed together over family, friends, and life. She’s not perfect, just like me, but we are both committed to calling forth the best in each other.

    4. Absolutely!

    5. Nope. I’ve been blessed with a number of best friends over the years, and we just keep adding them into the circle and accepting that circumstances and timing are the greatest factors that determine who is there for whom at any given moment. Blessed!

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