do opposites attract?

magnets are cool and all.  opposite ends attract and boom! you’ve just made it look like your nose is pierced.  a practical application for this eludes me.  feel free to comment on useful reasons to stick 2 magnets together.

anyweigh, we have been told since the dawn of naughty bits that opposites attract.  and on the shiny surface, it seems to be true.  but is it?  is it really?

i say nay.

my friends would appear to be total opposites.  he’s calm and practical.  she’s batshit crazy.  where he’s quiet and shy, she’s blowing up decibel readers and telling people she just met about her medical condition.

they’re perfect for each other.

on the surface they seem to have exactly zero in common.  but when you look closer, they are very much alike.  both are kind and generous.  they have the same financial goals.  they would give the shirt off their back to whoever needed it and both have a strong sense of the importance of family.

the things they have in common are the bedrock of their relationship.  the things that make them different are hilarious.  she keeps things unpredictable (understatement) for him and he pokes her and says, “keep it classy” when she runs head long off the deep end.

it works.

but if it weren’t for the fact that they have such respect for each other based on the things that ground them, it would just be chaos.

enough about your friends, nutshell it for us, sharideth.

fine!  gawd!  calm down.

opposite personalities can attract.  whether or not they become the healthy, well-balanced relationship people think they should be depends on the similarities.

think of it as a coloring book.  shutup!  hear me out.  the lines create a complete picture.  you know what the picture is and it’s the platform for whatever comes next.  but the color choices are infinite.  the colors keep things interesting and you don’t have to keep them in the lines because the lines aren’t going anywhere.  the lines are what they are no matter what is done with the color.  the lines can be counted on.  the color is where you get to combine the shy with the batshit crazy.

know the lines, but buy the big box of Crayons.

what are your thoughts on opposites attracting, Paula Abdul?


14 comments on “do opposites attract?

  1. MrsBethyJ says:

    Why’d you have to go and write about me and my husband like that? Have you been snooping around our windows again?

  2. Jonathan says:

    People seem to think too many similarities would be boring, but I truly believe that similarities are what can hold a relationship together like glue… In a bank account analogy, similarities are like deposits and differences are like withdrawals… you gotta spend a little money to have some fun, but you need to have more deposits than withdrawal or else you’ll go bankrupt.

    I’m still single, but I’ve gotten to the point where similarities are more appealing to me. Opposites may seem to attract initially as they seem “interesting”, but as my pastor (Mark Driscoll @ Mars Hill) once said, “The only difference between interesting and annoying is time.”

  3. wendy says:

    re: a practical application for magnets– my first thought was, “How else would Thomas couple up with Annie and Clarabel?” and then I realized that phrase might be misconstrued on this blog. (Why am I reading this blog anyway; I’m a sahm with 5 kids. I don’t know…I can’t stop!)

  4. Jennifer C says:

    I think you’re right, as most always. Honestly, without reading your stuff, I’d be content to marry someone just like me in every way and end up miserable. There would be no challenge for growth or fun. Why would I ever want to be with someone just like me? I would be annoyed and bored all the time. In the same light, I couldn’t be with someone completely my opposite. Again, I’d be annoyed all the time.
    I think we’re attracted to the things in a person that are our opposite whatevers, but are things we somehow know we need—no matter how hilarious or absurd it may look on the outside. It’s the same with the similarities. We see that this person cannot live without XYZ the same as me, so we’re even more attracted to this person.

  5. So what I see you saying is: your barnacles can be all kinds of different, but your boats should be the same.

    (Following that analogy, you also shouldn’t let people come near your personality with a power washer.)

  6. Tyler Smith says:

    Personalities, hobbies, and interests can be complete opposites and the relationship will work as long as the core values and beliefs are similar enough.

    Unless of course one person is a LOST fan and the other ins’t. In which case, it won’t work out, because c’mon who doesn’t like LOST?

  7. Chris says:

    Those poor bats. They must wonder what in the world is so fascinating with their excrement.

  8. I prefer to think in terms of not “opposites” but “complements”. Things that fit well together aren’t always the same (like a key and a lock, or a plug and its socket) but thy aren’t always different either (like a tessellating pattern).

    For instance, I’m highly introverted, so although I don’t need a partner as introverted as me (in fact, a little bit of extraversion might be good to draw me out of my shell) at the same time, the opposite – someone who doesn’t feel fulfilled unless they’re partying with loads of other people, is just going to leave me knackered and probably hurt: I don’t need an opposite but a complement. Someone who’s able to take life at my pace.

    On the other hand, I’m a very emotional person and prone to worrying, so having someone who’s generally calm and unruffled by life to act as a balance and keep me rooted would probably be a really good thing – an opposite, but also a complement.

    What serves as a complement can be something similar, or something different, so I don’t think it’s really about opposites at all.

  9. Jenn says:

    I agree the core values have to be the same for it to work in the long term – as for opposites attracting I think it’s about what fits for each couple. I prefer the idea of partnership where both individuals compliment and encourage the other to grow in life.

  10. Bethany says:

    Every day I wear a magnetized name tag. One magnet on the tag, one in my shirt, and… presto! My name displayed for all to see!

    As for opposites attracting, I think every couple has to have some differences to balance each other out, but I don’t think even personalities have to be polar opposites. According to every personality test ever, I’m supposed to end up with some submissive wallflower, but I actually want someone who will challenge and have fun with me.

  11. asoulwalker says:

    I have always loved Paula’s music. Always.

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