i get this question a lot. “what if i tell my friend that my feelings are deeper?” “what if i ask her out and she says no?” “what if i lose the friendship?”
so what if you do?
sharideth, you are an insensitive and terrible person. i hope you burn to death.
but seriously, so what if you do? if a friendship can’t survive that kind of honesty, it’s not much of a friendship. and since we’re on the subject of honesty (by we, i mean me), let’s talk about why the two of you are friends in the first place. sometimes it’s an organic circumstance that makes you friends. and sometimes it’s because one of you thought the other one was hot and started the process of getting to know each other. then the friend zone happens.
whether you are a boy or a girl, you stay in friendships where your feelings are not reciprocated out of fear. you continue to stay attached to someone who isn’t going to ever be more than your friend and you pine from anear because to do otherwise scares the crap out of you.
knock it off.
sometimes it works out and the friendship becomes something else, something more.
and sometimes it doesn’t.
the point is, you can’t stay that close to someone, who is a friend of the opposite sex, when you do end up finding someone else. and it’s a whole lot harder to find someone else when you have welded yourself to a friend.
it’s really pretty simple. fish or cut it the frick out. also, i’m not any good at sayings.
i’m not going to rehash the whole can men and women be just friends. the answer is, there is no answer. or all the answers. whatever.
but here is some truth i am going to cram down your necks. so hold on to your butts, because i’m going to get brutal.
guys, if you are stuck in the friend zone with a girl you really like, grow a pair. ask her out or move on. stop staying safe in your comfortable yet soul crushing friendship. man up. be someone your “friend” can respect by walking away.
girls, tell him how you feel or stop hanging out. while you are pining away in the friend zone, you are keeping yourself oblivious to all others that might actually want to date you. stop being pathetic.
oh sharideth, you’ve gone too far. now you’re just insulting people and getting hostile.
yep. indeed i am. why? because people who live in fear of losing a friendship also lived paralyzed emotionally. and i’m going to kick them where it hurts until they start to see some reality.
safe is lonely.
friendship is to dating, what dating is to marriage. the trial period.
stop limiting yourself.
guys, for more on picking the lock on the friend box you’re in, read an open letter to nice guys.
girls, find your pride, it’s probably in the same place as your spine, and move on. he’ll realize he missed out and run you down or he won’t. either way, you’ll be free.
anybody going through this right now?
how much of a jerk am i?