questions for you

so this morning i’m loading up on coffee and a breakfast bar and getting ready to go hear my friend, Joy Eggerichs, speak.  should be good, as long as Joy doesn’t dislocate her shoulder this time.

what?

i didn’t do it her!  she fell.  she did!

geez, you people are suspicious.

anyway, i’m going to throw out some questions and you can answer or not answer them at will.

1.  considering the 82 horrible questions we’re going through right now, what are the top 5 things you need to know about a person before getting into a serious relationship?

2.  do you believe in The One?

3.  what color are your beautiful, beautiful eyes?

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20 comments on “questions for you

  1. maryfollowsthelamb says:

    Are they intelligent, because I need ot be able to discuss and learn from them. I can’t do sex 24\7.

    Are they chronically dishonest? If so, they need not apply.

    Do they have an uncurable veneral disease? Next.

    Self-supporting? Temporarily out of work, okay, long term, move on.

    Good personal care. Body odor, bad teeth, jaggy or long fingernails, definite turnoffs.

  2. carlos says:

    Question1. Top Five:

    1. Do we see each other as a couple without saying anything? and by “saying anythig” I mean that if we share the need to be together without constant affirmation, if the answer is yes, then go to number 2 (this one it’s weird, but I happens to be this way)
    2. Are we growing as people outside the relationship? very important, does she makes me get to know new things and viceversa, if that’s the case then go to number 3.
    3. Is she nice? and this includes physical and emotional qualities with a little bit of enfasis on the emotional, including kindness, ethics and the like, if the answer is yes then go to number 4.
    4. Is she honest? transparency and honesty are very important, if so then go to number 5.
    5. Do we share interests? not too important, but necesary sometimes, if so then change relationship status on FB 🙂

    Question2. No

    Question3. Dark Brown

  3. 1. (Level of) being a Christian
    2. Intelligence
    3. Future plans (children etc.)
    4. Financial thinking
    5. Medical conditions (not saying it’s a dealbreaker, I’m saying we both need to know)

    Both yes and no. I believe in a plan that’s heading towards someone, but that plan relies heavily on the decisions we make. I think I can marry around 25% of women available and end up happily up to some degree, hard work included. I know I don’t want to and I feel the connection between you and someone you choose and comes across your path is indeed unique.

    Blue.

  4. Alise says:

    1) This was important for finding a spouse, but these apply to all close friendships as well:
    ~How do you feel about the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?
    ~Are you comfortable with lots of hugging?
    ~And lots of texting?
    ~How do you take your coffee?
    ~Can I have a bite of your dessert?
    2) I’m with you. No “the one”, but Jason is certainly my “the one” now.
    3) Bluish-green.

    • asoulwalker says:

      This is a great list… however, when it comes to “close friends”– stop texting me all the time and keep your hands off my plate… seriously, I’ll buy you another dessert if you want one… we’re friends after all (and apparently “close”).

      p.s.- When I first read that book I could only read for about an hour or two a day because the laughing began to just plain hurt.

  5. Rachel says:

    Question 1
    1. Is he loyal? Firm with his commitments?
    2. Does he see others, or is every eye on him when he walks into the room?
    3. Is he okay with my vulnerabilities or does he expect me to be flawless?
    4. Does he like me for who I am, really? And is he thirsty to know more?
    5. Is he willing to pursue me and no one else?

    Question 2
    I’ve been on the fence with this one for a long time. Do I believe that there is one person out there who is perfectly suited to me? Maybe. That would be nice. But probably not. I’ve dated enough to see that what we want in another person changes as we change. I no longer want the same person that I wanted at twenty, even this time last year. It’s like getting food poisoning at a certain restaurant. Chances are, you never want to eat there again. Optimistically, I would say that with experience and heartbreak, my tastes have simply become more refined. Is that part of God’s plan to mold me to match my counterpart? Maybe. I suppose it would be worth it in the end. My hope is that whoever he is, that he is allowing himself to be shaped more into the image of Christ and the man he was created to be, preparing in his own way so that hopefully before my deathbed we may run into each other and realize we are perfectly flawed for one another and ready to love each other’s flaws under the same roof.

    Question 3
    Olive green

  6. 1. a. does he love jesus?
    b. does he give his money away?
    c. does he have a male accountability partner?
    d. does he want children (tomorrow, preferably. what? i’m almost thirty five!)
    e. is he willing to spend all of his free time on a boat?

    **** disclaimer: these questions haven’t worked so well for me up to this point.

    2. probably not

    3. blue

  7. Jess says:

    1)
    – Is he actively growing in Christ and in his community?
    – Does he laugh at my jokes?

    Everything else is a bonus. True story: he’s got a lot of awesome bonus qualities that I never would have thought to put on a “the list.”

    2) right on. you pick your “the one” from a lot of potential “the ones.”
    3) I’m a brown-eyed girl.

  8. 1. A. Do they Love Jesus and follow him?
    B. Are they honest and have integrity?
    C.can we make each other laugh?
    D. what are their dreams, goals for life?
    E. do they know the super mario brothers theme song?

    2. yes, I think God has the one for us. but I also think if we screw things up He can find another one.

    3. blue-green, green-blue one of those.

  9. Jennifer C says:

    Heavy Hitters
    ·         Faith, beliefs, and convictions. I know no two people will ever agree 100% on anything and that these things can change, but for me, if there is not a mutual foundation, trouble will surely arise. No chicken sacrifices in the living room, please.
    ·         Debt. I have it thanks to student loans. I quit school to work my tail off to begin paying off the loans, and I need to know you’re OK with my debt and the fact that I don’t have a degree…yet.
    ·         Chilluns. Do you want kids? How many? I’m of the mindset that if God wants me to have kids, I will. I’m not sure how many. Also, are you open to adoption because I physically may not be able to conceive.
    ·         What do you do to take care of yourself? What do you expect of me? I want to know that you care about your health… and how you smell. I also need to know that you aren’t going to expect me to hit the gym 7.5 days a week for 27.3 hours/ day but will help and encourage me to stay healthy.
    ·         Recreation. What do you like to do/ watch? I love watching baseball and football. Do you like playing outside or inside? We don’t need to have everything in common—boring, but I’d like to know that you like to do stuff and would like to do some of it with me.   
     

    • Jennifer C says:

      Oh.

      When it comes to ‘the one’ I don’t know.

      My eyes are mystical shade of brown.

    • Jennifer C says:

      I didn’t for these to sound selfish and demanding. I know where my faults are. If he is mature enough to recognize his and work toward bettering himself in Christ, there are things I can accept, too.

  10. 1/.

    5 things I need to know before getting into a serious relationship are:

    a) I need to know her level of social justice awareness, and how open and accepting she is in general of other ways of life and being besides her own (e.g. not a racist or homophobe). She’s also got to be feminist, or at least tacitly so in her beliefs about gender roles. That ties into…

    b) Level of autonomy/self-fulfilment and empowerment – too low, and it’s not going to fly; but above that threshold, it’s just need to know but not affecting what’s going on. (Basically, I need a self-sufficient partner, at least on an emotional level)

    c) How much time she leaves available for loving – if she’s always jetting off around the world and lacking roots, or fills her time with so many things that I can’t fit in, then that both implies that she doesn’t have that groundedness implied by question (b) and also that she doesn’t really want someone except as another hobby on the side.

    d) Health issues, especially mental health. There’s no dealbreakers here, but I need to know what the deal is – I’ve been in a relationship involving bipolar disorder and one involving anxiety disorder (both required managing with medication), and I suffer from depression (doing well at the moment, but it’s an ever-present threat) – it’s just a question of knowing what types of strength and support might be needed from me.

    e) Level of knowledge/education. Not a dealbreaker thing at all – people with low educational achievement aren’t necessarily lacking in intelligence (my best friend was a regular D and E grade student at school but he’s one of the brightest people I know on his favoured subjects, and a really talented communicator). It’s just I want to know what level we’re communicating on, and what we can teach each other – or if we can have wonderful intellectual sparring contests (like my last relationship involved). I definitely want to be with someone with an enquiring mind, rather than being satisfied with what they’ve got (regardless of whether others characterise them as bright or dim).

    2/. I believe everyone has a pool of potential “The One”s each of whom will develop into “The One” (or not) over the course of a relationship. I don’t think anyone is “The One” from the word go, you and they only take form as each other’s “The One” as a pair get to know each other.

    3/. My eyes are a deep, warm brown colour.

  11. 1) My relationship “must haves” are these: a) He needs to love the Lord, b) He needs to have a passion (football, travel, music, etc). In other words, he needs a hobby other than God, work and me. c) Speaking of work-he needs a good work ethic. d) He must be a family man (whether we choose to have kids or not). Everything else is negotiable.
    2) No, I don’t believe in “the one.”
    3) I have dark blue eyes. Everyone says they’re pretty. 🙂

  12. Bethany says:

    1. On The One: This is a hard one because, yes, we all know it’s a new idea. It’s romantic and silly, and we’ve only had it recently. We could be happy with any number of people who share similar goals.

    To an extent, I agree with all that. But what about all the stories where it seems like God perfectly orchestrated a relationship for two people to be together? I mean, we believe God guides the other aspects of our lives. Do any of us say, “Oh, well, Hudson Taylor could have been anything it and it would have been just fine”? No! We see a clear calling to complete a specific task.

    What if God is clearly calling people to get married so they can make the right little people and do the right things together that will shape history–even in seemingly little ways? That wouldn’t necessarily mean you have the love of a lifetime, but it would mean God had chosen you both for each other.

    2. My eyes are hazel. No, it’s not a fancy way of saying “brown.” They have green *and* brown, which makes them the thriftiest eyes of all, because you’re getting a twofer!

  13. Rachel says:

    1) I need to know:
    – when his name comes up in conversation, how do people describe him? what is he most known for? I’m looking for a man who loves God and loves people.
    – is he faithful, consistent and a man of his word? is he essentially the same in various crowds or is there a mask for mom, the church and the girlfriend that comes off when he’s alone or with his dudes.
    – is he accountable to anyone?
    – does he like mexican food, beer and coffee?

    2) I have way more trust in the faithfulness ans sovereignty of God than I do in my ability to choose. So I plan to rely on prayer, counsel, Scripture and the mind of Christ in me to make it clear.

    3) My eyes are blue//green//gray-ish

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