82 questions to ask a guy: part 2

stolen from Holly Clark on flickr

today, we have even more questions you should always ask a guy if you want to end up ordering knives off the television at 2am while cuddling 6 of your 87 cats because you’re forever alone.

for those of you just joining us, this is from an actual list of questions created as a serious way to talk to a guy.  you can read part 1 aqui.  or here for those who never took high school spanish.

i am answering all of these questions on behalf of sane men everywhere.

here we go:

21. What do you hate most about yourself?that i didn’t notice you are bat shit crazy before asking you out.

22. Do you believe that ghosts exist in the real world? – don’t know.  but this date is going to haunt me for a good long time.

23. Do you get scared of the dark? – i do now.

24. Who do you look up to most in life?whoever came before me that managed to break free before having to be awkwardly grilled by you.

25. Are you fond of children? – i hate kids……………………………………..why are you still here?

26. What was the worst date you have been on? – too easy.

27. Do you believe in God? – yeah.  and i’m pretty sure He is punishing me for that one time at band camp…

28. What do you want to change about yourself? – anything that might make me attractive to you.

29. What is your biggest dream in life?  – that you forget i exist as soon as possible.

30. Describe the greatest adventure you have ever been on? – it is going to be whatever i do directly after i leave this coffee shop.

31. Name one expensive thing that you bought and now regret buying. – that cup of coffee sitting in front of you.

32. Have you ever asked a girl to marry you? – no.  and after meeting you i probably won’t even be able to think about it again until my dangly parts unshrivel.

33. Do you have any wild fantasies? – oh god yes…

34. If you had to choose between me and your best friend, who would you choose? – *unbelieving stare*  given the choice, i’d pick drinking battery acid while being swarmed by fire ants over you.

35. What is the one thing you are most ashamed of doing to a friend? – telling him he should ask your best friend out.

36. Would you go out of your way to help a friend? – sure.  i’d probably be willing to commit felony arson if he needed me to get him out of a date with you.

37. How much money do you hope to make in life? – how much would it take to put me as far away from you as possible?  that much.

38. What’s your favorite sports car?Aston Martin DB9.  i don’t care who are if you’re asking me about cars.

39. Do you lie often? – no.

40. Who is your favorite actress? – Jane Seymour, because all men have a weird thing for her that most females will never understand.

41. If you could go on a date with your favorite actress, where would you take her? – how far are you willing to stalk me?  30 miles past that.

what is a question you’d never want to be asked on a date?


10 comments on “82 questions to ask a guy: part 2

  1. Brian says:

    What’s the size of your penis?

  2. There’s a thing about Jane Seymour? Meh. My strongest association with her is that “Open Hearts” line of jewelry that I can’t seriously because, as my brother once pointed out, it looks like Trogdor the Burninator.

  3. asoulwalker says:

    Love the photo… really.

  4. It’s hard to think of one that hasn’t been covered already in that list (and we’re only halfway through it…!)

    I don’t think we’ve had, “What’s your favourite ‘pet name’ that your previous girlfriends called you?”

  5. […] questions to ask a guy – you want to ask awkward questions?  all the answers are here, here, here and […]

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