today, we have even more questions you should always ask a guy if you want to end up ordering knives off the television at 2am while cuddling 6 of your 87 cats because you’re forever alone.
i am answering all of these questions on behalf of sane men everywhere.
here we go:
21. What do you hate most about yourself? – that i didn’t notice you are bat shit crazy before asking you out.
22. Do you believe that ghosts exist in the real world? – don’t know. but this date is going to haunt me for a good long time.
23. Do you get scared of the dark? – i do now.
24. Who do you look up to most in life? – whoever came before me that managed to break free before having to be awkwardly grilled by you.
25. Are you fond of children? – i hate kids……………………………………..why are you still here?
26. What was the worst date you have been on? – too easy.
27. Do you believe in God? – yeah. and i’m pretty sure He is punishing me for that one time at band camp…
28. What do you want to change about yourself? – anything that might make me attractive to you.
29. What is your biggest dream in life? – that you forget i exist as soon as possible.
30. Describe the greatest adventure you have ever been on? – it is going to be whatever i do directly after i leave this coffee shop.
31. Name one expensive thing that you bought and now regret buying. – that cup of coffee sitting in front of you.
32. Have you ever asked a girl to marry you? – no. and after meeting you i probably won’t even be able to think about it again until my dangly parts unshrivel.
33. Do you have any wild fantasies? – oh god yes…
34. If you had to choose between me and your best friend, who would you choose? – *unbelieving stare* given the choice, i’d pick drinking battery acid while being swarmed by fire ants over you.
35. What is the one thing you are most ashamed of doing to a friend? – telling him he should ask your best friend out.
36. Would you go out of your way to help a friend? – sure. i’d probably be willing to commit felony arson if he needed me to get him out of a date with you.
37. How much money do you hope to make in life? – how much would it take to put me as far away from you as possible? that much.
38. What’s your favorite sports car? – Aston Martin DB9. i don’t care who are if you’re asking me about cars.
39. Do you lie often? – no.
40. Who is your favorite actress? – Jane Seymour, because all men have a weird thing for her that most females will never understand.
41. If you could go on a date with your favorite actress, where would you take her? – how far are you willing to stalk me? 30 miles past that.
what is a question you’d never want to be asked on a date?