last week i posted a video about how to be an alpha male. you can click here to view it if you haven’t already. anyhoo, the girl’s point in the video is that a man doesn’t necessarily have to be physically attractive to get a woman interested, he has to create or possess status. her claim is that status is not about how much money you make or how you look, it’s about the appearance of confidence and the ability to take care of a woman.
there were some very mixed responses in the comments to what she said.
me? i think she’s right. to a point. but i wouldn’t have used the word “status”. i would have used “value”. status can be manufactured. value is intrinsic. status is what you build. value is what you are.
are some women attracted to power and wealth (aka status)? hells yeah. Anna Nicole? hello!
minus 80 billion cool points for using “hello!”, sharideth.
but unless you’re completely busted, when you see a relationship like Anna Nicole and ancient what’s-his-face, your stomach goes all greasy like you just ate too many McDonald’s fries. what man really wants to be only wanted for what he can financially provide for a woman?
don’t get me wrong, being a good provider is way extra super sexy. but it’s not everything.
here’s my list on how to be an alpha male:
1. confidence – confidence instills confidence. it gets a response. when it comes to confidence, i’m a fake ’til you make it kind of girl. is that being phony? not at all. it’s practice. who doesn’t want to be able to put a confident foot forward? it can be learned. it can be embraced. it can become part of your DNA. though i might avoid using a “slow, deep voice” and placing weird pauses in the *one one thousand* conversation.
2. strength – i’m not talking about a roided-out, no neck, bench more than your own weight kind of strength…unless you want to attract someone from the Jerysey Shore. i’m talking about a bills get paid, i’d step in front of a bullet for her, end anyone who would try to hurt her and support her physically, financially and emotionally kind of strength. you have no idea how much providing security for a woman, whether she needs it or not, gives her the happy chills. it. is. dead. sexy. got a girl on the line? go fix something that’s broken at her place without being asked. you’re welcome.
3. leadership – contrary to popular belief, most woman don’t want to run the relationship. we simply want to be heard when we have an opinion on something. if you give us no reason to doubt your ability to handle things, we’re going to happily hand over the responsibility to you. i always liked the saying, “men are the head of the household, but women are the neck.” Scotty from last weeks comments said, “‘I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ should only be said when quoting the Jungle Book. Only time.” boom. truth. as for the whole not asking permission to kiss a girl from the video…damn straight. you almost always know if she’s receptive, so be the dude and make it happen.
4. respect – i think “status” could also be replaced with “respect”. your perceived value goes way up when it’s obvious other people respect you. easy way to gain respect? be respectable. duh. there are million different things people can be respected for. it can also vary depending which circles you run in and the value system of each group. Craig is a good example. in music circles, he’s the man when it comes to engineering. with our Christian friends, he’s the go-to theology guy. at a bar, he’s the one to beat at pool and compare beards with. but he consciously does something that a lot of men don’t. he decides what’s important to him and gets good at it. there is no half way with my boy. his pursuits might be few, but he actively makes the most of them. that’s respectable.
video chick is really right about one thing, being an alpha male does not hinge on how much money you make or how good looking you are. it all hinges on how determined you are to be constantly aware of and building on your own personal value. women instinctively know how much or how little you think of yourself. not requiring any approval from women to be cool with who you are will get you noticed. they LOVE it.
go screw yourself, sharideth?