so once again i had something completely different to write about today and totally threw it out. it’s friday. i’m not getting heavy on a friday. my friend, Amanda Bast, sent me this list she found. there’s 82 questions, but i’m only doing the first
41 20 today. it got long and i got bored. don’t worry. i’ll get to them all. eventually.
they are suppose to be “questions to ask a guy”. what they should be called is “questions to ask a guy if you want to scare the crap out of him and make him think you’re nuts”.
guys, i’m answering these on your behalf. here we go:
1. What did you think of me when you first saw me? – that you seemed sane.
2. How would you describe your version of a perfect home? – one with a state of the art alarm system.
3. Have you been in love before? – why are you bolding that last part? and before? yes. right now? no.
4. Who was your prettiest girlfriend? – oh no. no no no no no nononononono.
5. What qualities in me attract you most? – when you don’t talk. that’s my favorite.
6. Is there anything you would like to change about me? – how much time did you say we have?
7. What’s your thought on marriage, do you believe in it and do you ever want to be married? – i believe it exists. like narwhals. not sure i’ll ever see it in person. like narwhals.
8. Are you open to a live-in relationship? – no.
9. Does your boss like you or does he take you for granted? – my boss is a tool. pretty sure his middle name is Craftsman.
10. If you could go on a dream holiday, where would it be? – i’m on one right now. in my head.
11. What is the wildest thing you have ever done? – more bolding? well, i think i’m about to run screaming from this coffee shop, so that would be right up there.
12. Who is the one person you hate in your family? – my mom. does that scare you? it should really scare you. you’re still here? fine. next question.
13. What is the one most embarrassing thing you have ever done? – asked you out.
14. Describe your first date? What did you do, where did you go? Did you love her? – excuse me for a second. i’ve just shat myself. love her? on a first date?
15. If you were lucky enough to win the lottery, what would you do? – move to the opposite side of the world. maybe girls are less frightening there.
16. If you were caught in a fire and had to choose between saving your dog and new TV, what would you choose? – if i say TV, will you leave in a huff?
17. Who do you talk to more when in a problem, your mother or father? – my parents are dead.
18. If you came across a genie who offered to make three of your wishes come true, what would those wishes be? – for this conversation to end. for this conversation to end. and for this conversation to end. wait, scratch that last one. Mila Kunis. i’d wish for Mila Kunis. she can ask me anything she wants.
19. Do you have any addictions? – not yet, but i’m probably going to start drinking heavily immediately.
20. What are your fetishes? – i’m developing a real thing for restraining orders.
ever been asked a seriously awkward question way too early in the game?
who’s watching the playoffs this weekend? predictions?
if you couldn’t give a rodents rear end about football, what are you up to this weekend?