talk, talk, talk, talk……

well, yesterday was fun.

not really.

okay, okay.  fine.  since yesterday i got a text from a friend that said, “you suck”, in regards to the post, today we’ll lighten it up some.  but tomorrow, i’m hitting y’all with a Part 2 for “i can’t love me, so i can’t love you”.

so without further heavy subject matter, here ya go:

ladies, don’t kill me.  but we totally do this.  Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, of Love and Respect fame, calls it spider webbing.  it can take us a good 10 minutes of talking to ask our men to buy light bulbs.  why?  because we will tell them the entire thought process we went through to remember we need light bulbs.

it goes something like:

wife: hey hon, i was at Dollar Tree and you’ll never guess who i ran into.  Karen!  yes, you know who she is.  her husband was at that party you really didn’t want to go to and you asked him where the bathroom was.  you remember, right?  anyway, she was telling me that her son is playing soccer, not very well, he’s only 4, but she was saying that her husband has started working with him on ball control.  short kicks and what not. well that gave me an idea to start doing that with our boy.  not the soccer thing, but just giving him simple instructions to help him accomplish bigger things like his homework and chores and stuff.  it was like a light went on over my head; which is what reminded me we need light bulbs.  60 watt.  so what do you think?

husband:  uhhhh

poor man has no idea that she asked him to do anything, let alone buy light bulbs, or what she’s asking him about at the end.

but guys, you are so not off the hook.  some of you are talkers, too.  i have a friend who can carry the entire conversation himself.  he and i use to carpool and i would read a book and grunt every couple of minutes while he talked.  you heard me.  i.  read.  a.  book.

ladies, get to the point.  if you need light bulbs.  just ask for light bulbs.  if they are GE Soft White 60 Watt light bulbs, write it down or text it to him, otherwise he’s coming home with whatever will instantly blind you when you flip the switch.

guys, try to be aware that two people are suppose to be in a conversation and allow room for a response.

guys, how much do you love the “spider webbing?”

have any of you ever met someone like my friend who really didn’t need anything other than another body, alive or dead, to have a conversation with?

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8 comments on “talk, talk, talk, talk……

  1. Funny stuff. My sister and I went to the same college for a while, and we’d ride together to go out to mom & dad’s, etc. and she’d talk the whole way. I couldn’t read a book because I was driving, but I’d do the same occasional grunt and nod and I would try to listen. But with my limited attention span and focus… I. just. couldn’t. hold. on.

    Ironically, she later thanked me for being such a good listener.

    Few years later, this sister marries one of my fraternity brothers, one of my best friends. Only problem is, he’s a bigger space cadet and zones out more than I do.

    Turns out to be a marriage made in heaven – she talks, he zones, no problemo! They’re coming up on 28 years next summer.

  2. Bethany says:

    My new boss is like this. Yesterday, he was running late, so when he arrived, I just wanted to tell him real quick what he needed to know about the day and leave. But, no. He has a story about everything–how he did this last year, and had this customer, and this regulation that doens’t make sense, and, oh, here’s his looooooong opinion about the question that can be answered “Yes” or “No.”

    What did I say in response? “OK.” “OK.” “Well, that makes sense.” “OK.” “I gotta go so let me tell you rest.” “OK.” “Yeah.” “OK.” “I’m leaving now.” “I’m leaving now.” “I’m leaving now.” “I’m leaving now.” “I’m leaving now.” “Bye.”

    It’s going to be a very long tax season.

  3. ed cyzewski says:

    I have a problem with spider webbing or any conversation really because my wife will mention about 3 different things, but by the time she’s moved onto the third thing, I’m off on a rabbit trail thinking about the first thing. It’s odd because I really try to be attentive, but then I fall into that trap without fail. I’ve been working on repeating stuff back to my wife as soon as she says it so that I can keep my brain on track.

  4. asoulwalker says:

    I had a this girlfriend once who was what you would call a talker. It actually made me smile how much she would talk. I didn’t seem to mind it at all– except when we were on the phone… and then I hated it. If we were sitting on the couch or at a restaurant it didn’t bother me at all if she carried on a mostly one-sided conversation. I would even listen and pay attention. The phone, however, that was another story. Thank goodness for texting.

  5. My dad is like this, but I think it’s developed with age. Then again, there were (are!) six of us kids, so maybe he never could get a word in edgewise and he’s making up for it now.

    With some exceptions — certain topics — I’m seldom a big talker, so I can okay with long talkers…to some degree. At some point I will get impatient if it’s not moving towards a destination.

    This all pertains to verbal communication, though. If you have the misfortune of following me on twitter, you know I have no problem spending the written word.

  6. Regan says:

    I know women seem to have the reputation for doing this, but I know SEVERAL men who are chasing rabbits all over the county when they talk to me. And all I can think is “Would you please get to the point?” So it’s not just annoying to men. It can work the other way too.

  7. I feel like 99% of women do that. My favorite expression about it is : if you ask a women the time she will tell you how to build a watch.

  8. Hey, have you seen some of my blog posts? I did one recently where the “preamble” explaining why I got to thinking about the point of the post, made up about 3/4 of the post!

    This is absolutely true: I have situations where I’m talking to someone and they’ve left the room – someone else comes in and points out to me there’s no one there.

    On the other hand, I am very good at following the thread of a “spiderweb” conversation, as long as I’m not simultaneously trying to do something else (I can multitask, but following spiderwebbing feels like a multitask all on its own). I tend to bookmark points that I might want to go back to (I usually miss one or two) once the person’s finished speaking, to clarify or just for later reference (in the OP example, I might have wanted to go back to the soccer thing, or even to clarify the identity of Karen). This is ironic, because I don’t think any of the other people in my life do this, I’m probably the most spider webbing person I know!

    Oh, and btw – 60W? Why not 8W energy saver? Also, you’ll have to remind me if its screw in or bayonet fitting, and how many?

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