yesterday was my 19th wedding anniversary.
and the crowd goes wild! then they realize that makes me pretty old!
for my anniversary, i got to spend $200 to get my son’s finger fixed after he chopped the top of it in half with an axe, was nearly in a head-on collision with a guy running from the cops in a high speed chase, got a call that our studio may have been broken into (it wasn’t) and got sick during my anniversary dinner.
i’m actually typing this while i sit in bed trying to not be a mouth-breather.
this post originally began “today is my 19th anniversary”, but well, that didn’t happen since i was also sans internet all day.
i had an amazing dinner (scallops and lamb) with a guy who i still like after 19 years. we have 2 kids who make me laugh and want to kill them at least twice a day. my life is good.
people ask me all the time how we manage to make it work day in and day out.
there is no Love Potion No. 9 for a successful marriage. despite what the self-help book of your choice might say. however, here are a couple 3 or 4 things that definitely make it easier, but only if both of you are in it to win it….
1. commitment – there is no success without being single-minded about your future together. contrary to what today’s culture would tell you, divorce shouldn’t never be viewed as option A. for better or for worse, that’s what the vow says. vow. not suggestion. vow. not to be discarded because things get hard. getting to forever is hard enough without not being committed to today.
2. conversation – talk. all the time. about everything. there should be nothing you can’t talk to your spouse about. even if it’s ridiculous. even if it’s trivial. even if it hurts. talk. you don’t have to be the Great Communicator. you only have to figure out to have a real conversation with one person. the one you vowed to love, honor and cherish.
3. friendship – passion is awesome. super awesome. but passion ebbs and flows. what is constant is friendship. it’s the thread that runs through a relationship binding everything else together. you probably don’t have to think very hard to come up with a name of a friend who you will probably grow old and complain about kids on your lawn with. it should be the same with the one you choose to marry.
4. dating – don’t ever stop dating. no matter what life throws at you, always make time for each other that is reserved and protected from everything else. i wrote more about that here.
these aren’t magic bullets that are going shoot straight to the heart of your beloved then ricochet around killing everything but his or her love for you or bouncing off erogenous zones. but they sure don’t hurt.
Craig and i don’t always get it right. nobody does. but we know that no matter what, there’s a tomorrow we’re going to have to walk through together, so we’d better do what we can to prepare for that today.
what is a characteristic you’ve seen in a couple or something you’ve seen them do that makes you think “i want that”?
what is something you’ve seen that you want to avoid in your relationship?