How to Attract a Man (according to Youtube)

okay, watch this:

got it?

just in case…

guys are ants.

girls are grape jelly.

girls should dress in peachy pink, stand at the corner of a bar and smell like food.

guys drool at will.

thank you, Dating Expert, Lisa Daily.  we’re all fixed.

i quit.

after posting your thoughts on this, i have homework for you for over the weekend.

girls, try all 3 of these things and see you if get approached more.

oh yes.  i’m totally serious.

guys, your homework is to evaluate what attracted you to a girl whether you approached her or not.  were any of these 3 things in play?

*note*  guys, be careful when smelling a girl.  i don’t want anyone getting arrested.

everyone be ready to report back on Monday.  because even though i will be guest posting over at Tamara Out Loud that day about why married couples should be having lots of sex, i’m still here for my single fronds.

ready…set…get some.

what are your thoughts on the video?


40 comments on “How to Attract a Man (according to Youtube)

  1. ThatGuyKC says:

    I don’t know about these tips, but if someone came out with a bacon perfume for ladies the men would line up.

  2. HopefulLeigh says:

    Well, now I know why I’m still single. It’s because I rarely wear pink. Dang it.

  3. Evan says:

    As a married person, I can confirm that my wife looks good in pink.
    Not over-the-top vibrant neon pink, but a subtler pink.

    I don’t think bacon perfume will work as well as just hiding bacon in your actual clothes. Just sayin…

  4. Bethany says:

    Hmmm… smelling like food to attract guys. Let me ask something: After giving into the craving for a Cinnabon that I get from smelling like one, will the icing all over my fingers and face cancel out the attractiveness of the smell? Or will that make me even sexier?!

    Seriously, this is dating for *grown-ups*?

  5. Jenn says:

    Well let’s see – I did about 1 1/2 of these things last night – I wore my pink coat into the bar, and I sat on a corner until our table was too big and who knows what I smelled like over the smell of fried food and beer, bottom line if he could smell my perfume it would be a different comment…

    And I cannot say for sure it worked – he offered to buy me a beer – which I had to refuse, curses to my gluten allergy and then that sort of fizzled things. Blerg, he was cute.

    As to my thoughts on the video – I hate ants and grape jelly – but that aside I do believe that there should be something that attracts you to someone and I don’t honestly believe despite what TV and movies tells me that can be found by perching myself at the end of a bar.

    • What can you drink that’s typically on offer in that location and doesn’t cost much different than beer? If I may suggest, knowing this and being able to come back with a laugh and a “Believe it or not, I’m actually allergic to beer, but you can buy me a -Nameofdrink-, if you like.” might work well for approaches you don’t wish to discourage.

      • Maybe substitute “literally allergic” for “actually allergic” even.

        I don’t drink, so “buy you a beer” is not an approach I’d use, but I’m pretty sure I’d find that answer amusing and encouraging if it were. It defuses the awkward and indicates it really is the beer and not the guy you’re rejecting.

        • Jenn says:

          We were at a mutual friend’s birthday – and I was sitting on the corner of the table (1 Rule completed). He came just after me and when the waitress was there to take our drinks was going to buy a pitcher for he and I to share – and so it just became awkward when I explained I couldn’t drink beer. After the fact I didn’t want to harp on it because I felt like it would just make him feel more uncomfortable. It’s hard because I hate coming out with the hey I have celiac business – I feel like I then become seen as high maintenance etc…

          • Lynne says:

            There isn’t a thing you can do about the way your body reacts to gluten. If some guy thinks that’s high maintenance, then he’s not the right guy.

            Say you had a peanut allergy, to the point that if you eat a peanut, your whole throat closes up with the likeliness of suffocation and death. He’s not going to think worse of you for not wanting to split the peanut satay.

            • Jenn says:

              I completely agree – maybe I’m just overly sensitive to the whole thing – and that’s something I’m going to have to work through in these beer-centric events

              • The thing about celiac is it’s a problem with a solution. Don’t intake something with gluten in it, and you’re fine. Guys can deal with problems that have solutions. We’re built with an “if there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it”* mentality, to a large extent. While celiac can’t be eliminated, it’s manageable, so a worthwhile guy can work with that. If you treat it as something you’ve got under control and are cool about, he will too. Being able to convey information about your condition within a joke and/or an expression of appreciation for their intent goes a long way to putting other people at ease.

                If you don’t already have a computer file where you keep a list of things you know you can consume and things you know you can’t, may I suggest starting one and keeping it up to date? If someone (romantic or otherwise) starts showing evidence that they’re trying to watch out for glutens, a time will arise that you can say something like, “I know you’re really trying to watch out for glutens for me, and I appreciate that. I thought you might like a copy of my personal list of stuff that’s okay. Some of it even doesn’t taste like cardboard, honest.” Recognition of effort, useful information, and a tacit indication that you’re planning on them sticking around a while.

                Hopefully my rambling is useful rather than annoying. :> Basically, you have a lot more control than you might think of how other people react to celiac, based on what reaction you project to it. A friend of mine has a daughter with Asperger’s, who had a poster saying “I have Asperger’s, but Asperger’s doesn’t have me.” If you project that yes it’s serious but you’ve got it handled, other people will react to your confidence more than your condition.

              • Mandie Marie says:

                Jenn, I totally understand! As a Celiac, I often feel high maintenance if I have to do a lot of explaining when it comes to food in gatherings where I don’t know the people. Then it turns into a huge “what is gluten and what does it do to you” scenario. Which I’ve been explaining for the last 20 years. I’m over it. I just say no thanks and keep quiet because it’s easier sometimes.

  6. Jennifer C says:

    Can I cheat off of someone’s homework?

    I object to smelling like food and wearing pink. It washes me out. I wear pink and people are like, “Where’s Jennifer? All is see is a big pink blob.”

  7. Sarah Beth says:

    So if I start using frosting as perfume I’ll attract ants and men? Cool.

  8. Okay, general thoughts are that women wearing pink (any shade) tends to produce a reaction in me of, “Huh. Trying too hard.” Not attractive. I prefer blues, reds or black.

    Sitting at a corner of the bar actually makes geometric sense. Firstly, you’ve got 270 degrees instead of 180 degrees of approach angle. Secondly, a flat edge tends to prompt either turning to face in pairs, or being turned to face that edge (meaning your back is facing the available approach angles!) – sitting at a corner means that whichever way you’re turned, there’s a way for a guy to approach you from your front (which is a lot less intimidating, and more inviting, for both him and you).

    Not sure about the food smells. I do like the smell of vanilla when I’m cooking with it and I think it is a pretty sexy scent. I’m not sure that it would work in a dating or pick-up environment, though. I’m pretty sure in general food smells make me feel hungry, rather than attracted to the nearest female body (for instance, I don’t feel particularly motivated to try to chat up the lady at the bakery counter…)

    I’ll pay attention to these in more detail when I’m out and about this weekend, though.

  9. Regan says:

    I can wear pink, but I don’t have any vanilla or cinnamon perfume, and I don’t go to bars. So I guess I have no chance. Although… I am going to a hayride… I could sit on the corner of the hay trailer.

  10. Right, I’m back from noticing these things. First, no situations in which the “corner of the bar” came up. Second, I really didn’t notice smells, even when trying to pay attention to that.

    So that leaves pink. It is true that pink caught my eye. That is only because it was a bright colour, and most people I saw were wearing quite drab colours, so it formed a contrast. And, it worked for guys wearing peach/pink shades as well, in the sense that the bright colour made a contrast and caught the eye. However, it didn’t make the person wearing pink/peach look any more attractive. In terms of the effect it had, the same could be achieved by wearing antlers on your head!

  11. Jezibelle says:

    I think if you’re wanting to attract a guy in a bar you have to…

    (drum roll)

    have a vagina… or, in some cases, just appear to have a vagina.

    But then I guess that depends on what kind of bar you walk into…

  12. Lafemmeroar says:

    I’m not really sure either. I don’t know if I’d want a man attracted to the smell of cinnamon and vanilla. It makes me think that he’d rather do a cinnamon roll than me.

  13. […] me know in the comments if you noticed any of the “ants to grape jelly” points from friday’s post. tell your friends:TwitterFacebookEmailStumbleUponLike this:LikeBe the first to like this […]

  14. […] found via fellow-blogger’s recent post.  Please take a sec to check her […]

  15. asoulwalker says:

    For better or for worse I always notice girls wearing pink in a room first. Also the scent of Vanilla thing… that’s not made up and I know I’m not the only one. I don’t know about smelling like food in general though… but some foods. As to corners… I could care less. Also, I have never met someone in a bar that I am even still friends with let alone still dating. Perhaps that’s just me.

  16. Oops. I read your blog and promptly forgot.
    Let’s see, I went out to a bar on Friday night for an 111111 party a friend from church was throwing. a) I was wearing a black top, jeans, and heels. No pink. b) I sat on a couch or was on the dance floor for the majority of the night; and c) I smelled like Victoria’s Secret Heavenly instead of food. Guess I missed out on meeting my future husband 😉

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