two guys walk into a bar…

tomorrow i’m going to post about what attracts men to women.  at least according to this one video i found on Youtube.

but for today, i have a question.

guys, you see a girl in a bar or church or insert favorite location of girl here, and you like what see.  why her?

what about her caught your attention?

don’t think in terms of personal preferences, but more in generalities.  think about what makes a girl stand out to you.

ladies, what do you to try to stand out in a group?  or do you do anything at all?


29 comments on “two guys walk into a bar…

  1. Emelina says:

    I fluff my hair a lot.

    jk. Actually, I comment on your blog to stand out, Sharideth.

  2. Jenn says:

    Nothing – seriously I think that in trying to do or be something you just annoy everyone who knows you and create a false impression for that guy you may like. I am just me – or me with a few drinks in me – depends on the night and if someone’s buying (I’m a poor student – don’t judge me). Bottom line I know I’m quirky – I’m okay with it – and some day I’ll find a man who is too

  3. G Fresh says:

    I don’t know if you can answer this question without getting into personal preferences. My generalities of what makes a girl stand out are going to be different from some other guys’ generalities.

    For instance, as a somewhat universal generality for what attracts men to women, you might say physical attractiveness. Well I live in Nashville, Tennessee; there are a LOT of physically attractive women in this city. Most of them don’t stand out to me, especially in bars and clubs and even to some extent at churches because most of them strike me as trying too hard and as a result they all kind of blend together into a kind of sea of homogenized prettiness.

    Basically what I’m saying is, I don’t understand the question; or at least, I don’t understand how to answer it without getting into personal preferences…

  4. Chris says:

    I think G Fresh has a good point on this one. I’m not sure how to answer it either.

    And I think it changes per woman. One might be attractive for what she says and thinks, another might be attractive for what she does, etc.

    Maybe I’m the wrong guy to ask. 🙂

  5. Her smile and her confidence.

    The smile shows that she’s not conceited. The confidence shows that you can’t use a crappy pickup line.

  6. I’m just going to say the same thing as the other guys. There is no one thing that gets me to notice a girl. I do notice that my “definition” of attractive is far wider than my friends’ definition. However, I do notice when girls comment on your blog, Sharideth… 🙂

  7. Because of the way you asked the question, I’ll have to echo G Fresh and the other guys. This makes me think of the famous “I don’t know art, but I know what I like” quote. I don’t know what’ll make a girl catch my attention, but I’ll know it when I see it.

  8. Charmaine Stanley says:

    I don’t try anything to stand out. I just do my best to be myself. Either a guy is going notice or he isn’t, and as the guys have said already it’s all to do with his preferences.

  9. coupletastic says:

    A guy friend once told me that the color pink is like krypotonite for men. It draws their eye and piques their interest. So wear pink.

    That said, I did a piece in my blog this week outlining some interesting psychological research that shows that the color red is actually the most attracting to men…so wear red, ladies….

    Apparently, it works to make men seem more attractive too!

  10. Rachel Felts says:

    I agree with Charmaine. I have to say that I can always pick out a girl who is trying to be noticed (at least I think I can). No matter how subtle her cues may be, a girl who is thinking about being seen doesn’t look relaxed; and though she may be noticed, I think it reduces her chances of someone believing that he is going to get anything genuine out of her that night, and therefore may not bother approaching. My tactic, if you want to call it a tactic, not that I spend much time in bars these days, but my tactic has always been, if I’m out, to have fun with the people I am with and not allow myself to think about being noticed. That may be why I’m single, but I am more interested in guarding my heart than meeting every Tom, Dick, or Harry who is out there and, as probability would have it, is not right for me. I hope that I will be noticed for who I am when the time, and the guy, is right. In the meantime, I just don’t want to think about it.

  11. I’m gonna agree with G Fresh that I’m not sure you can answer this without personal preferences. There’s also really two varieties of “notice” here, I would say as a guy. There’s what you notice physically as defining a girl as attractive, and there’s what catches your attention as someone worth getting to know. These can be one and the same, but may not be.

    From a physical perspective only, it depends whether I’m viewing her from front or behind.

    From behind, it’s probably her hair. Flowing, shiny, and healthy is good. Still wanna see the other angles first, because I have definitely seen women with worn and wrinkled faces who had hair that would make the girl from the old Herbal Essences commercials weep for envy. But I’m far more likely to notice her hair than her rear end, unless there’s something written on the latter.

    From the front, most men would be lying if they said they didn’t at least notice a woman’s bust, of course. I don’t think I have a preferred size, though I know lots of guys that do. But beyond that I really wanna see her smile and whether her eyes have life in them. I have seen some very pretty girls with some very dead eyes, and it makes me sad. I wanna help her more than I wanna date her at that point.

    I think aside from looks, a good attention catcher is her laugh. How she laughs and what she laughs at can tell me a lot about her. That ties in with the smile and the eyes too, of course. Is it a fun laugh or a derisive laugh? A good genuine laugh that says “I’ve got a good sense of humor and I’m having fun” can catch attention in a crowded room. It speaks to personality before you’ve even approached her.

    Am I striking anywhere near what you’re looking for?

  12. Mandie Marie says:

    I talk to guys. And I smile.

    It seems pretty basic, but I’ve given the “Well, your first step is to actually TALK to a guy” advice far too often. Also, don’t look like you’re angry. That helps too.

  13. If I see she’s confident and real, one smile might do the trick. Also, attractiveness will help, although that may be really indefinable (is that a word?) as sometimes I can look at faces and not know why I think someone’s attractive. Lastly, I am a sucker for blond hair.

  14. Definitely a smile will catch my attention. Looking like she might be pleasant to talk to is a very good way to get my attention.

    The other thing is quite simple: being different from the rest of the crowd. The best sort of different is in something that’s a choice (style of clothing, hair, make up, piercings, tattoos, whatever). If everyone else has tattoos, then not having one will catch my attention, and vice versa; and the same for the other things. If everyone is posh and you’re casual: attention-getter. if everyone else is casual, and you’re posh – also, attention-getter. As long as she looks like she takes care of herself (so that “casual” is a well-groomed casual!) and also isn’t just doing it to annoy other people, then that’s the biggest draw.

    If she’s wearing the same kind of things as everyone else and saying the same kinds of things as everyone else, then she might as well be everyone else!

  15. Bethany says:

    It’s not so much that I *do* things to stand out as it is that I’m aware of when I’m standing out. For example: I say something funny and all my friends burst into loud laughter. I would have made the same comment whether he was there or not, but *does* the guy across the room notice how funny my friends think I am? Is he wishing he knew what funny thing I was saying? Thinking about how funny I’ll be on our first date? How hilarious our *children* will be? Is he–oh, nope. Definitely still just talking to his friend.

    I don’t know. I’m not really sure if I want to get married or not, so I figure if a guy is wowed by my hotness, then that’s great, and if he’s not, then I don’t need to change that.

  16. Larry Hehn says:

    Three things usually catch my attention.

    First, her eyes. I believe that whole “window to the soul” thing. Eyes convey so much.

    A close second is her smile. A sincere, playful smile will always get my attention.

    And third would be her overall confidence and demeanor. There’s nothing more attractive than a lady who is real, and comfortable in her own skin. I think the eyes and smile help convey that too.

    That’s what drew me to my wife!

  17. Regan says:

    Hmmm…if I want to impress a guy, I usually try to dress in clothes that I know look good on me. I might spend a little more time on make-up. I might try to watch him and see if he notices. I stand up a little straighter and put on my “swag.” (It’s a female swag.) If I’m talking to him, I’ll ask lots of questions. But most of this is subconscious. It not something I really think about; it just kind of happens.

    I’m sorry my icon isn’t smiling. It doesn’t truly represent me. 🙂

  18. Keller says:

    Talkability. I can’t count the number of times that I approached a lady (in my single days) and felt like I had to carry the entire conversation. I totally suck at that. I think most guys do. I’m nervous, you’re nervous, help a brother out!

    And smiles rule. A smile from a girl is the ultimate confidence booster for me.

  19. asoulwalker says:

    I notice her gear. If it’s nicer than mine I get excited. I can tell a lot about a person (and therefore a girl) by what kind of “gear” they have or don’t have. More than one ex-girlfriend of mine has described me as “an outside dog.” I like to generalize actually– not because I think I’ll always be right but because it’s a challenge (I have worked in retail and customer service for almost a decade).

    So if a girl pulls up next to me at a stop light on a SEVEN alta with a full campy group or pulls out an Arc’teryx Dually belay parka at a church retreat or hike I notice. Of course if she had pink bartape or pink zipper pulls I would notice even more.

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