wow. yesterday’s post sparked something in the comments that really surprised me. i’m not easy to catch off guard. i spend quite a bit of time thinking about all possible outcomes for what i write and try to be prepared for it, but you guys, the most brilliant commentors in all the land, did it again.
in order for what you’re about to read to make sense, you’re going to have to read yesterday’s post: when an insecure girl is into you
go ahead. i’ll wait. it’s like 4 minutes.
done? awesome. let’s do this.
i’ve written about what the Keeper looks like in girl form. based on the following comments, it looks like i have seriously neglected what it looks like to be a Keeper in guy form.
“I have to say that, any girl would love to have a man like this, even one that is not the girl you’re describing.” – Ashley
“Thank you for not saying “run away and wait for her to stop being insecure.” I have found a lot of men don’t want to take the time to dig underneath the insecurity to find the awesome woman below.” – dtdorrin
“But really, this guy isn’t just for insecure girls. I think all girls could benefit from a man such as this. ‘shield her from those who would use her innate generosity and fear of rejection against her.’ I know you wrote this Sharideth, but SWOON.” – Mandie Marie
“How many men are there that are actually like this? I am this girl in relationships, I am not proud of it but it is insanely hard to switch out of. I finally found a man who has been patient with me, except we will only ever just be friends. So for those of us women who are still stuck with this insecurity, are there still men prepared to enter into a relationship with us to help us help ourselves?” – Charmaine Stanley
did you notice a theme, gentledudes? it runs along the lines of “i want that guy. where is he?”
a Keeperman has the following qualities:
1. basic survival skills – i’m not talking about building a leanto out of palm fronds or starting a fire with rocks, though those things are dead sexy, i’m talking about the ability to feed yourself, do your own laundry and keeping your bathroom from becoming a biohazard. and just to drive this home, here’s another quote from the comments yesterday: “Nope, dudes don’t want a mom. They have one already. And if they’re digging the mom- girlfriend… run the other way. No one wants to deal with a guy who has mommy issues.” – Jess Mueller (@HeartCommaJess)
2. balls – be strong enough to not be bullied by anyone in your family or hers. be ready to defend, to protect, to intercede, to shield if and when it becomes necessary. in other words, be a man. all growed up and everything. it’s wisdom to listen to good counsel, but it’s cowardice to accept irrational or overt criticism.
3. self-confidence – this really helps with #2. know who you are and where you’re going. that doesn’t mean you have to have life all figured out, it means you have to have a life. know your own mind, know your own worth. to quote the always genius and exceptionally good looking me, “the public at large and women specifically, will value you at whatever price tag you put on yourself. are you Armani or Men’s Warehouse? nobody can say but you.”
4. kindness – to quote GFresh, “don’t be a douche canoe”. i don’t know what that means, but i like the way it sounds. in a culture that is ever bending towards selfishness, kindness is becoming highly underrated. considering the needs of others before your own is critical in healthy relationships. drawing your sense of satisfaction and joy from giving to the satisfaction and joy of others is a beautiful thing. it’s like catnip for
chicks real women.
5. patience – patience is one of those things you offer generously because you need to receive it as much as you need to give it. we all have things that will drive our chosen one to drink. and not in the fun way. be willing to cut her some slack and be ready to communicate about anything and everything before you get to the point of frustration.
i know there are a gazillion more things i could list, but i’m going to let the ladies speak for themselves. i will only add that when assessing what kind of man you are, weigh everything against “is this something that makes her proud of me and does it make me proud of myself?”
get your man on.
…that didn’t sound right at all…
ladies, now’s your chance. tell them what you’re looking for in a Keeperman.
gents, what do you struggle with most? what are the things you think you’re already good at?