this question came up on my Facebook page last week. you can read the whole question and go ahead and “like” that by clicking anywhere on this sentence.
there’s a prevailing theory of a 60/40 split out there that i think i can get behind. the idea being you pay for dinner, she grabs the tip. you buys drinks, she gets the cab. she buys the movie tickets, you get the popcorn and junior mints. but i like this plan for different reasons that avoiding “subjugation” or “flaunting money” which tend to be the reasons given.
i like a very flexible 60/40 split because…
1. it helps to maintain the manly role of a guy in the relationship. face it, in most cases, you are going to be the primary bread winner eventually. *coughbabiescough* and it also shows your desire to take care of her and be her support. it’s mental more than financial.
2. it avoids keeping tabs. if you try to go 50/50 all the time, you start keeping a tally of who does what and that can just cause tension. boo! hiss!
3. it allows her to contribute. what about that isn’t awesome? a girl who wants help out and partner with you in taking care of things is indicative of a keeper. it shows self respect and lets you know she doesn’t intend to bleed you dry.
when should you pay 100%? you should plan on it all the time. be ready to pick up the bill for everything if you ask her out. especially on a first date. do not let her pay for anything on a first date. if she insists, and the date went well, let her know you’ll consider it next time. see what i did there? i just gave you an in for your second date. boom!
if the first date is a train wreck and she offers to split the bill, you can do that. however, i think it’s better if you go ahead and pay to end the night on a “man-up” note. that way when she tells the story, you still have a +1 in your column.
girls, the first date rule also applies to you if you ask him out. you should be ready to pay for the whole thing. but when he offers to pick up the check or contribute something (which he should if he’s decent), put up a minor protest (which he should argue with), then let him. make sure you pay for something. do not let him take care of all of it.
okay, i will admit to being out of the dating game for a while now, so let me know if i am completely off about this.
what did i get right?
what did i get wrong?
what other rules would you add?
do you think 60/40 is fair?