how to date: 4 ways to figure out where to go

i like bourbon.  a lot.  i even go to an event every couple of months called The Bourbon Trust.  it’s an invitation only thing held in a private home and everyone brings a bottle of bourbon to share and taste. ever had bourbon that smelled like strawberries and tasted like warm caramel?  i have.  i’m pretty sure angels made it.

i also like moonshine straight out of the jar.  but sometimes it’s a red wine kind of night or tequila and lime or even something that comes in a fish bowl with a neon green umbrella sticking out of it.

dates are the same way.

there’s an ebb and flow of preference and mood.  sometimes understated with a dash of sophistication, sometimes over the top and ridiculous.

but how do you know what flavor to choose?  how do you know where to take her and what kind of tone to set?

1.  take her temperature – orally.  lest there be any confusion.  do your best to read her mood.  if she’s bouncing off the walls, maybe something outrageous.  see here.  if she’s mellow, maybe take her somewhere just to relax and talk.  i.e. bistro, wine bar, museum…if you can’t figure her out, do something daring, like asking her what she’s up for.  then be ready to deliver.

2.  determine the goal – what do you want to accomplish with this date?  do you need to talk seriously?  do you just want to blow off some steam?  do you want to show off your mad air hockey skills?  if you need to DTR (define the relationship), Chuck E Cheese is probably not the place.  then again, it might be.  you never know what can happen over bad pizza and kid spit.

3.  shock value – if you’ve been doing the same type of thing over and over again, change it up.  do something completely off her radar.  sophisticated girls like to get nuts on occasion and crazy girls (crazy in the good way) like having a reason to get fancy.  keep her on the toes of her hooker heals.

4.  prove you’re paying attention – if she’s been talking about the Cold Play concert for months, get tickets.  if she mentions how much she’s always wanted to do Movie in the Park, take her.  if she’s obsessed with Twilight, decide if this is a deal breaker and act accordingly.

this works for first dates all the way through long term marriages.  never stop dating.  dating is oodles of fun.

what did i miss?  what are other ways to figure where to go on a date?

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8 comments on “how to date: 4 ways to figure out where to go

  1. *if she’s obsessed with Twilight, decide if this is a deal breaker and act accordingly.*

    I was just recently trying to figure out what the heck all the Twilight fuss was about. I came to one conclusion. If Twilight is the romance I’m supposed to be looking for, I’d rather live in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre era. Well, not really…. but almost….

  2. If a Twilight obsession ISN’T a deal breaker, you might want to reassess your list of deal breakers. Unless you’re also obsessed with Twilight, in which case you might want to reassess EVERYTHING.*

    *There’s a 50% chance that 50% of this comment isn’t 100% serious. I’m just not sure which 50%.

  3. Bas says:

    Totally contrasting your whole post: I always did the same thing. I live in a beautiful city with a lot of canals, so I just went and strived through the city together. It allowed us both enough flexibility, fysical contact was easily built up or slowed down and if you have fun with this, you’re pretty sure never to wait for the check in a restaurant while having your fingernails pressed into your hand. Also, it allows for anything ‘spontanious’ to happen. Of course, as a man you’ve planned this ahead.

  4. H.E. ELLIS says:

    Your list is perfect the way it is. Now if I could just find a man…

  5. Jenn says:

    If it’s your first date – do something. Seriously nothing is more awkward then trying to hold a conversation over a meal when it’s going south or your date isn’t a drinker. If as a guy you know that you cannot carry a conversation then do not sit down face to face with her.

    Sounds like a weird piece of advice but I can tell you some of my most awkward dates involved men who are great in groups or activity situations but decided to have face to face dates with me – they were horrible.

  6. If completely out of ideas, you can occasionally borrow a couple of the old Who Wants to be a Millionaire lifelines (but don’t become dependent on them).

    1) Poll the audience – Ask her friends if they know of something special she’d like to do. Caveat: do not ask the friend of hers who:
    a) hates you
    b) has a crush on you
    c) has a crush on her
    d) is a mental case

    It’s important to remember that asking the friend who hates you or the friend who is in love with her are two of the most classic relationship gags of television, and not set yourself up for them. They will most certainly advise you to take the girl who hasn’t yet revealed her pet allergies with you on a surprise trip to the dog show.

    2) Phone a friend – If your mom or your sister like the girl and are sensible people, and the girl likes them, they may have good ideas.

    Important note: Never claim you came up with it if you did not come up with it yourself. There are many ways to express the fact that you sought out good advice because you really wanted to make this date special; lying is not one of those ways.

  7. Lafemmeroar says:

    Your guide is what men need to read, but they certainly don’t need to read this:

    Dollars and Cents: Can you really afford to take her where she wants to go? If not, what can you do to avoid going there? If she likes French food, then McDs has awesome french fries. If she likes to go dancing, turn on Pandora and cut a rug at home. If she wants to go to the movies, there at streaming video sites out there playing new releases. Just make some popcorn, cozy up by the monitor and enjoy (you might have to wait a few for the video to buffer though).

    This is the cheap skate’s dating way. And if a woman fall’s for such a tight wad, then more power to him.

  8. […] how to date: 4 ways to figure out where to go  –  “i also like moonshine straight out of the jar.  but sometimes it’s a red wine kind of night or tequila and lime or even something that comes in a fish bowl with a neon green umbrella sticking out of it. dates are the same way. there’s an ebb and flow of preference and mood.  sometimes understated with a dash of sophistication, sometimes over the top and ridiculous.” […]

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