haven’t done one of these in a while and yesterday’s trending topic on Twitter begged to be on my blog. seriously. it was embarrassing. i was all like, “get up off your knees. have some respect for yourself.” and TT was all like, “not until you promise.” ugh.
here we go:
No one gets in the way of you and your delicious sandwich with Miracle Whip
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle – @MiracleWhip
Promoted by Miracle Whip – shameless self promotion much? keep your nasty, tangy weirdness to yourself.
I don’t like the
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle trend because it just makes me realise how lonely I am and that I’m going to be forever alone. – acceptance is half the battle.
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle —nothing! dont flex – your honesty and use of urban colloquialism is impressive.
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle Not being confronted with shampoo. – @_Snape_ – totally brill and clearly gross.
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle I don’t have to share my chicken nuggets – i also recommend never becoming a parent.
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle Not having to delete your inbox… – hint: you shouldn’t have to do that anyway. #BestThingsAboutBeingSingle gives you a chance to find yourself and realize what you want in a relationship, so set your standards high – boooooring.
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle I have more time to train my Pokémon – you’re single a lot, aren’t you?
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle you don’t need a password on your phone… – does your girlfriend hack your facebook, too? so annoying.
#bestthingsaboutbeingsingle you don’t have to worry about someone pulling a Jazmine Sullivan on your car windows – i have no idea what that means, but it sounds like a biohazard.
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle Having all your ribs. – @TheTweetOfGod – God is a comedic genius. who knew?
#bestthingsaboutbeingsingle Not having an Adele album written about you – you’d love that. don’t flex.
what are some other best things about being single?