using nicknames

show of hands, how many of you guys actually like for your girlfriend to call you by a nickname in public?

oh right.  can’t see your hands.  then here you go:

i’m going to go on record and say that for the most part, nicknames make me want punch babies, kick puppies and machete rainbows.  i’m not talking about the occasional “hun” or “baby” used by me long term couples.  that’s fine.  even expected.  i’m talking about cutsie names that spontaneously initiate the gag reflex of everyone within ear shot.

it’s like verbal excessive PDA.  you may as well be prone on a picnic table for as comfortable as you’re making everyone.

Craig and i have only ever used them for when we either a) think it’s funny or b) are actively trying to annoy someone.

but if you must….here are the rules for nicknames:

1.  only speak them in private.  please and thank you.  nobody else wants to hear you called Sugar Bear or Studly Pants or Mr. Kisses.

2.  the cuter it is, the worse it is.  if your nickname for your girl could be used on a Carebear, for the love of God, keep it to yourself.

yeah, that’s all i’ve got.  i really, really don’t like adorable nicknames.

maybe you do.  that’s fine.  just be aware that for the rest of us, you may as well be licking her face in public.

have you ever been called by a nickname by your girlfriend/boyfriend?

if yes, what was it and how many swirlies have you suffered as a result?



17 comments on “using nicknames

  1. Hmm. I wonder which classifies as more embarrassing:

    1) Being called by your cutesy nickname in public.
    2) Having to call your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse by THEIR cutesy nickname over the phone in public.

    Definitely, either of these are likely more embarrassing if they occur in front of co-workers/bosses than in non-business situations. It would be very hard to maintain a dominant position in a business meeting after saying “I love you too snookywuvums” into your phone.

  2. Knox McCoy says:

    “if your nickname for your girl could be used on a Carebear, for the love of God, keep it to yourself.”


  3. G Fresh says:

    Sheesh. Of the two relationships I’ve had, neither of them lasted long enough for any nicknames to develop. Methinks I may have bigger issues than if a girl calls me Schmoopy in public. 😀

  4. susan says:

    i don’t mind being given a nickname, although just honey is fine too:)
    but i don’t really go for giving them to men…just a bit too icky.
    I have even been a little offput by my coupled up friends who start with the endearments really early in a relationship…way too much too soon (or am i just a commitment-phobe…)

  5. HopefulLeigh says:

    My friends and family have been assigning funny nicknames to me for years so I’m on board with that, so long as they’re good ones. But I detest pet names. If you call me “honey” or “sweetie,” I will want to drop kick you. That’s true in life and relationships.

    • Stay out of the rural South then. A great number of the women over 30 call everyone “honey” or “sweetie” or “darling”. 😀 There used to be a diner, which shut down when the owner retired, whose head waitress was named Barbie and called everyone “darling”, “sugar”, “sweetie”, or “honey.” No joke.

  6. I just burst out laughing from this post! I HATE PET NAMES!!!!! They make me throw up in my mouth a little. I have a name… its easy to remember so use it.

  7. ThatGuyKC says:

    Actually I only go by my nickname “KC”. People who use my real name either: 1) have known me since kindergarten, 2) are relatives or 3) just want to annoy me.

    No swirlies here.

  8. JBen says:

    thank you. Now my fiancé is calling me studly pants. You suck.

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