are you being strung along?

ladies, i apologize ahead of time for sharing this particular secret.


no i don’t.  i’m not sorry.  this totally blows for guys.

however, guys, this also applies to you, so you are definitely not off the hook.  you’ll get yours in another blog.

girls like attention.  they like to feeling desirable and sought after and wanted.  blah blah blah blah blah.  unfortunately many are willing use your attraction to them to feel that way even if they have no intent to date you.

yeah, i know.  crappy.

it can be hard to tell though if you’re being strung along.  all the signs point toward eventually sucking face.  but (Kirstie Alley size) it’s the more subtle ones that you should be paying attention to.  and by subtle, i mean they’re punching you in the neck but you’re ignoring them.

1.  the ice cube in your boxers – things are going great!  hot, hot, hot!  she’s just about to launch herself into your arms…COLD!  freezing cold.  she doesn’t answer your calls, won’t text you back, gives you a side hug when you run into her…just about the time you think it might actually happen, she starts treating you like a brother.  she is never going to date her brother.

2.  the ego stroke – she constantly tells you how great you are, that she needs to find someone like you…you interpret that as she’s right on the verge of “really seeing you”.  she’s not.  she knows you’re into her and enjoys how you look at her when she says those things.  knock it off.

3.  who’s that guy? – she dates other people.  feeling like an idiot yet?  good.

4.  you’re her personal complaint box – she will verbally vomit about all the things that are wrong with the guy she’s dating (usually followed with an ego stroke – see #2) then proceed to fling herself at him.  simultaneously giving you hope of being her savior and stepping on your balls.

5.  it’s not a date.  ever. – she will never go on a date with you.  anything that resembles an actual date is carefully avoided.  she’ll either cancel with some lame excuse, invite a friend to make it a “group thing” or go frosty (see #1).  any alone time you do have will be firmly controlled by her, right down to the topic of conversation.

seriously guys, you deserve what ever she dishes out if you continue to let it happen.  not only are you handing over your manhood one cold shower at a time, but you are wasting time that could be better spent on someone who might actually care about you in return.

for some tips on how to end the string along, you should read an open letter to nice guys.  it’s all there.

and for some clues on what the girl might be like, read Lucy + Football = It’s Humiliation, Charlie Brown.

have you ever been strung along?

have you ever done the stringing?

any other signs you can think of?


7 comments on “are you being strung along?

  1. JBen says:

    I have totally been strung along. But there was no other guy in the picture and I am pretty sure she wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt me.

    She figured it out after we spent an evening on the beach watching the sunset. I was feeling pretty good until she just straight up told me what was going on and that she had no intention of dating me or anyone else.

    She started dating someone two weeks later. That stung. But that was a LONG time ago and I learned my lesson.

  2. H.E. ELLIS says:

    Wow…what does it say about me that I’m a girl who totally doesn’t do this, but falls for guys who do something similar? What I get is the, “It’s so awesome to finally meet a girl who has her shit together and can take care of herself. My last girlfriend was CRAZY!” Cut to two weeks later and him back with her because I “didn’t seem to need him the way she did.” It seems like if I don’t stalk them then it must mean I don’t care. I don’t get it.

    • there’s nothing to get. they’re the ones that are busted, not you. there’s a difference between a guy wanting to feel needed and a guy with a savior complex. sounds like you run into the latter.

  3. Dave says:

    I had this happen to me as a teen, She hung out with me, bought me clothes, sat with me at church, but when I finally plucked up the courage to ask her straight, the answer was no not ever. I walked quite literally out of her life and never looked back.

    Now I have female friends who do this to me to a point, but I know it is happening, I enjoy the company for what it is, and hope they might have some single friends I can date….

  4. Kp says:

    Shoot. I do this to guys I am dating.

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