September 12th – aka Day of Conception

if you follow me on Twitter (if you don’t, explain yourself in the comments), then you know i tend to post weird holiday observances.  today’s is a doozy.  full of moaning and bodily fluids and deserving of more than 140 characters.  oh yeah, i’m going off topic.  if you count copulation as off topic.

there’s a lot of sex happening in Russia right now.  as in, right. now.  September 12th is a Federally (or whatever the Russian equivalent is) sanctioned holiday, set aside for couples with magnificent bone structure to procreate.  that’s right.  a holiday to have sex.  not just sex, unprotected, baby making sex.

for today is Russia’s annual…Day of Conception.

yeah, read that again.  make sure you got it right.  i know i did.

Russia’s population has been dwindling, so to make sure there are future generations of people with a superhuman capacity for vodka, the government has given people the day off to get it on.

why today?  it is exactly 9 months prior to Russia Day; the biggest holiday of the year.  aside from naming holidays with all the panache of blunt force trauma, Russian powers-that-be are pretty clever.  if a little Russian seed is planted on Day of Conception (or there abouts, i mean how would they know for certain without being perverts) and the child is born on Russia Day, the mother wins a prize.

nope.  i’m not kidding.

money, appliances, even a BRAND NEW CAR!!!

sorry…Price is Right flashback.

here in the States, we give cash for clunkers.  Russia?  cash for kroshkas.

maybe i’ll try to get pregnant today!

bwahahahahaha.  good one, sharideth.  lord, i’m funny.

moral of blog?  get pregnant today and move to Russia.

amen.

what’s your favorite weird holiday?

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17 comments on “September 12th – aka Day of Conception

  1. H.E. ELLIS says:

    Guy Fawkes Day. It’s just fun to say.

  2. G Fresh says:

    International Talk Like a Pirate Day which is coming up next Monday if anybody wants to buy me a parrot. *hint* *hint*

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day

  3. Larry Hehn says:

    Talking about clever holiday names, I like Cinqo de Mayo. At least you’ll always know what day it is.
    But today, I think I’m Russian!

  4. But I have no one to concept with! 😦 I wonder if Russian mail order bride sites offer a discount on Day of Conception. Or maybe a special rebate plan if your mail order bride gives birth on Russia Day?

    After some intensive research, I have learned that today is also Chocolate Milk Shake Day and National Video Games Day. Can I quit work and play video games while drinking chocolate milk shakes, please?

    More interestingly, September is National Blueberry Popsicle Month. I don’t know why.

  5. Chris says:

    I think this “holiday” brings up an interesting puzzle. How *should* a country encourage families to have children? Or should they encourage it at all?

    Or in other words, what is causing the decline in births? I suspect this is not just a Russian problem.

  6. Elizabeth says:

    I’ve heard Australia also pays people to have kids. And not even on a certain day. I think the dwindling population is also to blame. So, that’s another option.

  7. Jenn says:

    Ok as funny as this is, as someone who has spent time working in Russian orphanages, this is the last thing they need right now or ever. What they should be doing is encouraging parents to pick up their kids from the orphanages and raise them instead of just doing all the fun parts and then ditching the product afterward. *off soap box*

    • yikes. well, that’s kind of terrible.

      • Jenn says:

        Yep it is, I know this isn’t the place for the discussion on child care and welfare states and yadda yadda but basically I was appalled to find out the majority of kids in orphanages in Russia have family who visit them but because they have been raised in a Communist society have come to rationalize that is somehow better or normal to hand over your kids to the state for whatever period of time works for you – a year, two or until they’re 12-16 when they’re dropped out into the streets. Even worse Russia has significantly reduced the ability for international adoption stating that the children need to remain in the motherland and well it goes on. I get that the government is trying to encourage its westernized women who don’t want children to have them – a problem all over the world – however the bigger problem is what about all the kids without parents?

  8. “If a child is born on Russia Day, the motherLAND wins a prize.”

  9. Regan says:

    So do they realize that gestation is 40 weeks, which is technically ten months? Just wondering.

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