like Big Foot, unicorns and the M&M guys, eligible bachelors do exist. toss in one who is intelligent, attractive, fun to hang with and gainfully employed and you’re getting into myth and legend.
not really. they exist, too. i found one.
his name is Michael Deppisch and he’s guest posting for us today. Michael isn’t a blogger. *gasp* i know. calm down. he’s a photographer and Twitter comedian. yes, ladies, he’s funny, too. hold on to your skirts. Michael is also on my list of “Why are you single?” along with several other of my friends. both male and female.
one of these days, i’m going to lock them all in a church youth room that smells like boy feet and won’t let them out until they pair off.
you can follow Michael on Twitter. “can” is too soft. “should” is more like it.
can should check out his photography on his website, MichaelDeppisch.com
without further ado, here’s Michael and a post he says “will render me undatable”.
Women Are a Mystery
and other stupid lies they tell us.
For the longest time, I was convinced that along with the presence of a second X-chromosome comes an impenetrable wall of understanding. That somehow the entire female half of our species was exempt from the laws of reason and I, therefore, had to accept anything they said or did.
I often see men clamor after women that appear to be unobtainable. They write songs, paint paintings, chisel sculptures. They will go to war over a seemingly unobtainable beauty. I won’t deny the allure and captivation a woman can bring, but far too often it’s simply unwarranted–not because she is unworthy, but because she has created a false persona from which to operate.
When she isn’t that interesting, “mysterious” is a preferable identity.
Women help perpetuate this idea; buying into the false pretense that they are inexplicably crafted to be the eighth wonder of the world (or in some cases, the eighth and ninth wonders).
“I’m just mysterious.”
“You’ll never understand me.”
“Women aren’t meant to be understood, they’re meant to be loved.”
“I meant what I said and I said what I meant.”
These are but a few of the things I’ve had women tell me over the years. (Actually, the last one was a Dr. Seuss quote…ignore that one.) How were the pyramids built? Who really shot JFK? How has Arby’s stayed in business this long? Those are mysteries. Those are things which exist beyond the realm of my understanding. Why your girlfriend orders a Diet Coke along with a basket of fried chicken strips and chili fries? Not a mystery. Why she stands in line for hours to save 10% off of the already inflated prices of semi-designer clothing? Again, not a mystery. Sometimes strange behavior is just that…and we all do it.
We become products of our surroundings, and those with whom we surround ourselves. If she spends time with girls who hang out at wine bars and gossip about God-knows-what, then eventually she will become one of those girls. If she does nothing but watch romantic comedies, which depict a wholly unrealistic view of love and relationships, she’ll eventually begin to believe that this is how relationships should operate. And if she stops questioning the whys and hows of her thought process and commits to the idea that she is a mystery, or beyond understanding, or worse–not required to be held accountable for her actions, then she will become those things.
Some women have learned they can get away with it.
Thomas Paine said it best:
“A long habit of not thinking a thing WRONG, gives it a superficial appearance of being RIGHT, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason.”
Basically, just because the common understanding holds that something isn’t wrong, that doesn’t necessarily make it right. And a long history of believing something to not be wrong, regardless of its validity, often holds more popular than reason. References from 18th century conservative political literature aside–the more men cater to the clingers, pamper princesses and inspirit insecure women, the more these women become validated in their own actions and beliefs.
What are guys doing wrong?
I’m certain my all-but-cynical world view isn’t very popular, especially with the ladies. But I’d maintain that it’s a fairly realistic assessment. For each man, the majority of women aren’t worth being in a relationship with. Period. And that’s totally okay. There is a very small number of people with whom someone can be truly compatible and have solid chemistry. It’s about learning to discern the good from the bad relationships quickly, before you’ve invested too much time and emotion into something that is destined to fail. As Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life” (I think…don’t quote me on that).
Once a friend told me that, even though he didn’t want to be in a relationship with a girl, he wasn’t going to break up with her because he was “too loyal”… Really? To what are you being loyal? A bad relationship? A girl you have no reason to be dating? Unflappable loyalty is only a virtue when you’re with someone who is worth your time. And here’s the kicker–just because she gives you her time doesn’t mean it’s worth it. How many pointless, caustic relationships could you have avoided if you had just listened to your gut?
Everything is not lost. I think.
Quality women are out there. Trust me, I’ve met them. They aren’t interested in guys who have learned to play the game. They aren’t interested in just being accepted… they want to be understood and loved for who they truly are. And if she’s worth it, she’s not going to make a good man work for her attention out of some misguided desire to live out a fairytale romance. Worthy women deserve to be loved, admired and respected. They deserve to be pursued and revered. But a girl who is interested in little more than playing the game should be avoided at all costs. Go with your gut; ignore your more vocal appendage for once.
I know that this is an incomplete thought, mainly because I don’t have all of the answers. I’d love to hear your thoughts. What do you think makes some women play the “mystery” card?