i was going to start my new round of guest posting next week, but last night, at about 8 o’clock, i got a guest post submission from an 18 year old kid with a plan. Ben Crosthwaite asks some questions during his post and instead of me answering them, you guys should have at it. when you finish
laughing reading, check out what Ben is trying to accomplish by clicking the link below his post. do it. doooo it.
I know trying to push a girl off a bridge won’t make her want to date me.
That’s about where my understanding of what I could do that would instantly and permanently make a girl NOT want to fall in love with me ends.
That’s why I’m here.
Well, I’m kinda promoting a little project of mine, too. But I’m also here for the girl help. This seems like one of the best places to find it.
So, here it is.
I have this idea that there are a few things that I could do, likely accidently, that would offend the girl I like enough to scare her away forever. I’m currently assuming that there are certain deal breakers that will ruin what chances I have.
I’m here to find out if such a thing exists.
Are there any absolute deal breakers? Like, instant restraining order type feelings after one mistake from me. Is it possible to quickly go from “I might possibly maybe perhaps like you” to “You’re a disgusting lowlife that should die in a den of lions”?
There are a couple scenarios in my head. I’ll share. Then you guys can do your thing and share your insights in the comments.
So we’re hanging out. Asking each other shallow questions to get to know each other. We’re laughing. Everyone within a mile of us is staring in jealousy of our chemistry. She asks about guilty pleasures in entertainment. I don’t know why. She probably got it from a girly magazine’s date conversation tips or something.
Anyways, she says something cute. Then, through a “hey, this date is kinda fun” smile while leaning in to sip on her drink, she asks about me. I tell her that, even though my life revolves around music, and I pride myself on my tastes as I know she does, I actually kinda like Katy Perry.
She looks at me like I looked at my computer screen when I saw how Katy Perry looks without any makeup on. And then she reminds me how much she loves James Taylor. I say I love him too, but it’s too late.
She hates pop music. I do too. Except for the occasional moment with Katy Perry. Using the transitive property she decides she hates me.
What do you think? Can one major difference in tastes in music, movies, TV, books, food, etc. make that big of a difference?
the fact that I’m gay
I’m worried that if I tell the girl I like that I’m gay she’ll just write me off and won’t ever consider a romance with me. Is this a legitimate concern? Or am I just crazy for thinking that?
Is one passing joke, like saying I’m gay after asking for girl advice, enough to ruin everything? I think I’m a pretty nice guy. I don’t like to go crazy with derogatory humor. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect though. Even if it’s not meant to be a put down. Like, if I say, pretend to be gay for a paragraph. Or laugh for days at a guy we saw trip over himself.
Scenario in my mind:
We’re at dinner. I crack a joke. She laughs. Hard. Then she remembers that one time I tried to be funny and really offended her. She pours salt in my eyes and hitchhikes home from Chili’s.
Is that crazy?
wanted in the wrong way
I know that if she goes to put something in the backseat and finds a mutilated corpse back there she’s going to freak. That’s understandable. But what if I get pulled over because her adorableness in the passenger seat was distracting and I went 8 over the speed limit? What if I J-Walk while we’re walking together and accidentally force her to commit a crime? What if I get too much change back and don’t go back and return it to the store? Will she write me off for that? Should I drive 10 under whenever I’m with her? Should I get rid of the bodies before we go out? Is one illegal thing, even if accidental, enough to make her mad?
winning at failing
Everyone is scared of failure to some extent. How scared should I be, though, of failing in front of her? I suppose if she hates me for shooting over par while we play mini-golf she probably isn’t worth the hassle anyways. But can one failure at the wrong thing completely turn her away?
I know if I fail to stop at a red light and end up putting us both in a coma she’s probably going to hold that grudge. I wouldn’t blame her. But will she hold it against me if she comes to my show and I muff what was supposed to be a face(or in her case; heart)-melting solo? What if we go go-karting and I drive through the wall and break a bystander’s legs? Can one embarrassing mistake be more than just embarrassing? Could it bring us closer as friends, but farther away from being the old couple eating ice cream in the park together? Could an embarrassing mistake actually ruin my chances?
Those are just a couple scenarios I’m worried about. What do you all think?
Are there any absolute deal breakers? One time things that can ruin it all.
I read this blog all the time. I know you can kill it.
Let the comments fly.
(Ben is 18, single, and likes Carrie Underwood. He likes her a lot. He’s also trying to raise $10,000 in 100 days to split 50/50 between recording equipment and a clean water project for a village. Check out thesoundofwater’s campaign page here. Donors get things like free music, artwork, and a 1990’s Honda Civic’s. Seriously. Check it out. Oh, and he writes a blog about music, cute girls, and story over here.)
all right, my darlings, help the man out.