see, there are only two ways to get the heave ho.
justly means you deserved it. you said, did, were something or someone who needed dumping. a friend of mine is deep in the midst of self-flagellation for being a blind a-hole. probably lost the one girl who’s ever really loved him. how? took her for granted. figured she’d hang around no matter how little emotional stability he gave her.
he was wrong.
and now he knows it. to his credit, he takes full responsibility for it. let’s all hope he’s learned something with some staying power.
unjustly means you got dumped by someone you probably should have dumped first. or maybe should have never dated to begin with. you didn’t do anything wrong, probably even did most things right, you just happen to be doing them for someone who was never going to appreciate it properly.
her loss. not yours.
if you fall in the “justly” category, there’s really only way for you stop being a tool or doing tool-like things. your happiness has to become directly related to hers. you have to look outside yourself and think of her (and others in general) as more important than yourself. you will never find a relationship of any quality until you do.
if you fall in the “unjustly” category, spend the first couple of minutes being grateful you dodged a bullet. this will give you some perspective and probably soothe the ache the dumper left behind. then get back out there and find someone who is freaking worthy of you.
for specifics on why people get dumped, spend some time at That’s Why I Dumped You. from the hilarious to the insightful, it’s all there. and if you recognized yourself in 1 or 2 or 187 of them, maybe it’ll give you something to think about.
what’s the lamest dumping excuse ever used on you or that you’ve heard of?