what could possibly go wrong?

have you seen this picture?

i'm not really sure which one of them is creepier

does the dude look familiar?  he’s 51 year old Green Mile/Lost actor, Doug Hutchinson.  does she look familiar?  no?  that’s because she’s only been alive for 16 years.  but she’s very accomplished.  she’s 2010’s Miss Teen Washington.

why yes.  that is a wedding dress she’s wearing.

how is that even legal you ask?  her mother signed the consent form.  it’s not the first time she’s had a consent form in front of her if you’ve seen the kid’s bust line.  not even 16 year old boobs are that perky.

but they’re in love!  you can read all about it here and here.

i could tear this apart detail by detail, but that’s no fun and you guys are better at it anyway.

so have it.  opinions?  thoughts?  need a barf bag?


26 comments on “what could possibly go wrong?

  1. heather joy says:

    just curious, are you handing out barf bags for free…? please?

  2. nateaton says:

    Wow, so the weird character he played in The Green Mile is actually who he really is.
    It’s sad to see, but her future is going to have some major hiccups. I don’t see this ending well.

  3. Russ Ray says:

    Agreed… that is positively vomitous. I’m not sure who is using whom in a worse fashion.

  4. G Fresh says:

    A few thoughts that went through my head while reading this story…

    I wonder how much Bieber was on their wedding night mix CD?

    On the plus side; not only can he be her date, he can also double as her chaperone at her prom.

    So was he able to register as a sex offender at the same time he went in for the wedding license or did he have to make two separate trips?

    Talk about your May—December romances…if May was like 3 years ago.

    I wonder how long it will be before Hugh Hefner asks Mr. Hutchinson for relationship advice?

    I’m guessing they registered at Hot Topic and Pfizer.

    At my current age of 33, I’ve often said that I doubt I could marry a woman who couldn’t at least remember the fall of the Berlin Wall; although preferably the Challenger Disaster. Apparently Mr. Hutchinson’s cut-off is 9/11.

    I don’t think even Charlie Sheen would consider this #winning.

  5. I’m wondering what the wedding photographer thought of it. I’m not sure he could have made the guy look creepier if he tried. The bent over pose, the back-glancing angle of his eyes, the smirk, and the way he’s holding her against him? I didn’t see the Green Mile, so I don’t know anything about the character he played. Nor would I have guessed the age of his bride under that makeup. Even on initial view, when he’s just some guy with some girl, he looks seriously creepy in this photo.

    That out of the way, and all age difference aside, I have to wonder: how have you known her long enough to know you’re in love and ought to be together for life? How did you even *start* dating a teenage girl? And on her side, you have to really wonder what her vision for this is. Is this an innocent lamb swept off her feet, or a calculated business arrangement? How soon will we see her with a movie career? And how soon after that will they break up?

  6. Jenn says:

    I borrow a comment from a Huff Post commenter if you believe she’s 16 then I have some land to sell you. I’m sorry I did, but I looked at her “website” which really verges on soft-core p*rn in some pictures – this young woman is either not truly young – ie. her birthdate is in the 1980’s or she’s been so warped that this would be “normal.” But really does that matter? I think all the adults in this case failed – plain and simple.

  7. JBen says:

    So gross. This is why you need people in your life who will tell you that you are batsh*t insane. I think that neither of them are in it for the long haul. there is some deep, unfulfilled desire they are trying to appease. My guess is that it won’t work.

    “thank you” for sharing this.

  8. Mandie Marie says:

    Maybe it’s just me or this picture, but he looks 16 and she looks 51, but trying to look 16.
    I…uh…I don’t know….I don’t know where to go from here. I’m just confused.

  9. I’ve seen creepier, particularly the hispanic couple who are 40-50 years apart, and the guy is junior.

    In their defense, she looks early 20’s and he looks late 30’s.

  10. Charmaine Stanley says:

    16 year olds have no idea where they are going in life, what they will believe and their outlook on life is still in the baby stages. I say she’s been manipulated, bought in by a pretty ring, doing something before all her girlfriends get to, fairytale wedding… The list goes on.

    As an aside, not thinking about their age gap specifically, but what is your opinion on age gaps? It seems to me a controversial thing for a man (or woman) to be even 5-10 years older than the one they are dating or married to. As it happens I am 27 and my boyfriend is 45. That’s an 18 year gap, I know there are many who would (and do) take issue with that.

  11. Devil’s advocate, as they say, it could be that this works out. It would be really rare if it did, but not impossible. Still think they should have waited a couple of years at least for her to reach adulthood. Although, if he were 18 marrying 16 instead of 51 marrying 16, this wouldn’t be news. Still think you should wait. The changes in a person from 16 to 18 can be huge, and they really may be “not the man/woman I married” in just that short time.

    Normally, different generations are going to have different outlooks on life, and different things that are important to them in life. I do have a friend in her 30s whose husband is in his 60s or 70s. She grew up around people her parents’ age mostly, so she found that her viewpoint on life had more in common with her husband’s generation than her own. She seems very much in love with him still, and it works for them as best I can tell. But it works because of that commonality, where most such marriages fail because they might have had chemistry but they lack that commonality.

  12. Also, he still looks terribly creepy in this photograph. The lighting choice is horrible. It shadows his face, which makes his grin look that much more creepy and sinister. Did the photographer not see this, or did he/she just think the wedding was creepy and deserved a creepy photo? Or maybe they did notice but didn’t feel like they could say “Can you try to smile in a less creepy fashion and maybe choose a more dignified pose where your head is not being pulled to her bosom?”

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