how to avoid miscommunication in relationships

people have forgotten how to communicate.  our emotional understanding has devolved to that of an emoticon.  “she put a wink at that end of that text, that must mean she’s joking.”

or that she absolutely means it and is being passive agressive with a semicolon and right parenthesis.

hard to say when you’re trying to create understanding with a key pad.

i can’t count the times i have been in the middle of drama between two people and have had to act as pacifier, interpreter, mom, ref, bomb disarmer, when it all could have been avoided with a couple of basic life skills.

i have often found that couples who are the brink of ending it, really aren’t as far apart in thought and feeling as they think they are.  they just can’t communicate it effectively and can’t hear what the other person is saying over the racket of their own emotions.  you may as well try to work out your problems while running a weed eater.

i’d like to tell you i can fix it all with a 500 word blog post, but not even i am that good.

that’s why this is going to be a series.  how many parts you ask?  i have no idea.  as many as it takes.  communication breaks down in so many ways and for so many reasons, there’s no way to condense it down to neat little bullet points.

doesn’t mean i won’t try though.

so hold on to your butts.  it’s about to get all educational up in here.

what are some ways you think communication gets bent and clogged up?

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20 comments on “how to avoid miscommunication in relationships

  1. Craig Alvin says:

    I don’t understand…

  2. Knox McCoy says:

    I have found weedeaters to be very functional in terms of fixing interrelational conflicts, thank you very much.

  3. MichelleK41 says:

    Hmmm what about the contest of *I am always right*

  4. JBen says:

    I’m excited to read this!

    2 things I have found helpful: Don’t text when the topic is serious. Use your mouth and actual words.

    Also, find out what is beneath the words. My fiance and I have asked each other “when you say _______, what do you mean?” it is super helpful.

    Nice Jurassic Park Reference.

  5. Chris says:

    That introductory picture had me groaning. Ouch!

    When it comes to communication, I think there are two rules to go by: 1) Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. And 2) When it’s your turn, speak the truth in love.

    That’s all I’ve got at the moment.

  6. Jonathan B says:

    I think one big problem that crops up is using seemingly opposite words for the same thing. I have more than once mediated conversations in which two people were in an argument where they both held the same opinion but didn’t know it because they were expressing the same opinion with completely different words.

    It can become like a variation of the blind men and the elephant, in which one starts describing the trunk and the other starts describing an ear and both think the other is about to make an identity mistake because neither has realized they’re focusing on different parts of the same elephant.

  7. earthymind says:

    i think social networking must end at some time,and personal relationships must have more to them than these sites and texting…it will really solve more than half the problems!

    • Jonathan B says:

      Social networks are unlikely to end, but I do agree that relationships should be conducted via more than that. Even long-distance relationships can benefit from occasional phone calls in the mix.

  8. I think miscommunication is bad. I also like to post comments that no one is likely to disagree with.

  9. tyler says:

    when it’s put into the sink.

    so seriously, that’s how i get messages to the ninja turtles.

  10. led display says:

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